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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was DH right in saying this?

127 replies

openseason22 · 29/06/2021 14:44

I'm just wondering what others think of this

DS 21 went out for a walk for about 30 minutes, he normally takes his phone with him when he goes out but on this occasion he left it on charge at home as he says it was nearly flat. While he was out, DH saw his phone was on charge and when DS returned DH gave him a mini lecture on how silly and potentially dangerous it was to not take his phone with him as he could have tripped and fell over and hurt himself or been attacked.

I'm just wondering whether DH was right in saying this or is he treating DS as a child.

OP posts:
kindaclassy · 29/06/2021 15:05

A quick reminder to take his phone next time would have been enough, but frankly nothing wrong with not having your phone on you 24/7.

Your DH is OTT.

DeathStare · 29/06/2021 15:07

Unless your DS was hiking up a mountain or has a severe illness that can strike suddenly, then your DH has lost the plot.

DeathStare · 29/06/2021 15:10

I should probably add, my 14 year old DD forgets her phone all the time when she goes out. I've never thought it was a big deal.

GreyhoundG1rl · 29/06/2021 15:13

If you have a 21 year old child, op, your dh has to be old enough to remember life pre mobiles Confused
How dangerous does he think life was?

Original poster
openseason22 · 29/06/2021 15:13

DS has ASD but that has no effect on him going out for a walk. Also quite recently there was a girl in her 20's who was attacked and killed about 30 minutes drive from where we live so I don't know whether that might be making DH anxious.

OP posts:
VeryQuaintIrene · 29/06/2021 15:20

What if he were mugged for his mobile which happens a lot even in nice areas?

Aquamarine1029 · 29/06/2021 15:22

Tell your husband to stop treating your adult son like a child before your son starts to distance himself from him.

Bksjshsbbev2737 · 29/06/2021 15:22

I think it’s a bit stupid to think that we need to always take our phones everywhere; you don’t need it all the time. Do you need to take your phone to every room of the house in case you fall or are attacked?
Also he’s an adult and can make his own choices

SmellThat · 29/06/2021 15:25

I can understand your husbands concern then

Did you know the route he was taking or how long he should be ?

Daydrambeliever · 29/06/2021 15:26

If your son is able to go for a walk by himself then he is able to go for a walk by himself without a phone. Phones do not protect us from accidents, injuries or people attacking us. They give parents a sense of control but they don't actually protect. He was wrong.

ginghamtablecloths · 29/06/2021 15:26

Your DH is being a bit over-dramatic. Before we all had mobiles we went out - some of us may have had a piece of paper in a pocket with our details, some may not, but the world didn't come to an end. Most of the time we do not fall over and are not attacked. In any case the mobile could be stolen and would therefore not be of much help.

godmum56 · 29/06/2021 15:26

I see it as OTT but said out of love. I nag my sis about going out without her phone and we are both WAY over 21! for those of you who say you leave your phones at home to "switch off" why don't you just turn the phone off?

tallduckandhandsome · 29/06/2021 15:27

Your DH is BU.

I am obsessed with my phone and rarely go for a walk without it. The fact that your son is happy to take a walk without his phone is a very good thing! I might try and emulate it.

FamBae · 29/06/2021 15:28

@DeathStare

Unless your DS was hiking up a mountain or has a severe illness that can strike suddenly, then your DH has lost the plot.
This!
SingingInTheShithouse · 29/06/2021 15:28

Is your DH always such a Drama Llama ?

Ivymundane · 29/06/2021 15:28

If he was going walking in remote places like the woods or open fields with the chance of no one about then I think your DH is right, best safe than sorry.

If he is going walking through town then it’s fine as lots of people about

Warrickdaviesasplates · 29/06/2021 15:30

But if he left the phone at home to charge because the battery was nearly flat then if he had taken it with him the battery would have died and it wouldn't have been useful at all in the event of a "fall" anyway.

Crinkle77 · 29/06/2021 15:30

Your husband is bonkers!

tallduckandhandsome · 29/06/2021 15:30

My 70yo disabled mum goes out for a walk without her mobile phone. She has a disabled blue badge and needs to rest every few minutes.

We do worry about her but wouldn’t dream of dictating to her that she must go out with a phone.

Sometimes when it’s raining and I knows she’s out for her walk, I drive around looking for her, would be so much easier if she had her phone but it’s up to her.

Yaykyay · 29/06/2021 15:31

The whole of humanity did survive without mobiles until 20/30 years ago!

It's not like he was going for a hike up snowdon. I think your dh is being dramatic

CustardySergeant · 29/06/2021 15:33

Ludicrous. In fact your son was probably safer walking without his mobile phone, as those that have them don't seem able to tear their eyes away from the screen and don't look where they're going!

I don't own a mobile phone of any kind, let alone a smart phone. I have survived.

Most of all, he's a 21 yr old man! He doesn't need a lecture from his father for going out and leaving his phone on charge FFS!

Original poster
openseason22 · 29/06/2021 15:34

Just to mention DS said his phone battery was on 9% before he left so it wasn't flat but didn't have much charge left in it.

OP posts:
PussGirl · 29/06/2021 15:35

It's the sort of comment my ex would come out with - still thinks DS is a child in his early 20s

quizqueen · 29/06/2021 15:35

I don't how I manged to stay alive without a mobile phone up to reaching the age of 60!!

Fiddliestofsticks · 29/06/2021 15:36

For the love of all the wee beasties.
What is wrong with your husband? We can leave the house without a phone! Of course, there is always the chance that something could happen and a phone would be very handy but bloody hell, what did he do when he was a kid? Did he take a phone everywhere? No. It's fine to go a walk without, unless your son has some kind of condition like epilepsy or something which means he is high risk of needing help.