To be confused by SEN, Autism, etc in children?

[Sallygoround631]

A sensitive topic, but I am curious, and hope that it isn't somehow improper to ask.
I admit to ignorance, because I don't have children, and I have not had much experience with children with SEN, Autism, allergies, etc.

What I want to know is, in your opinion, are there more kids with these issues now than, say, 40 years ago, when was a kid in the 80's? (when everything was put down to orange smarties and over activeness)

Was it simply less diagnosed or unknown, and put down to other, behavioural issues?
If so, then I am very glad we are no longer living with such ignorance.
But I am also curious to know if these cases have increased, or merely been there all along?

If they have increased, what are the reasons? Does anyone know?

I feel this is a tender topic and do not wish to cause upset. I am absolutely out of the loop and would love to hear about it.

Educate me!

Think of the spectrum like a circle. Not one end to another. Like this picture explains (will have to add photo credit after once I’ve found it)

And no people aren’t all a little bit autistic. You’re either pregnant or you’re not. You’re autistic or you’re not. And it’s offensive to those struggling daily to say “oh we’re all a little bit autistic”

@FibroFighter81

IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO EDUCATE YOU!!! As a mum of ASD children, there just ISN'T enough time to explain the complexities and limitations of ASD / SEN.

Google is free

Then you're on the wrong thread aren't you?

And who do you mean when you say 'our' job?

There have been plenty of nice, polite posters who have been only too happy to engage with the OP so that she and the people reading can understand a bit more.

Google may be free but it's massive, with tonnes of conflicting information.

If you don't have the time that's fine. Why not move along and turn your caps lock off?

@FibroFighter81

IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO EDUCATE YOU!!! As a mum of ASD children, there just ISN'T enough time to explain the complexities and limitations of ASD / SEN.

Google is free

If you don't want to educate this poster then just... don't? It's okay. It's okay if you don't have the energy to help them. Other people are doing their best.

@BlatantlyNameChanged

Surely it's not better for your children for more people to be educated about their needs? Surely it will lead to a more tolerant world?

My personal opinion is that actually creating a more tolerant world will lead to a more tolerant world and the responsibility to do so does not rest with my children. They're human beings, not learning tools.

I do understand your feelings, having an autistic child myself, but I think it's everyone's responsibility to ensure people are properly informed.. I don't mind people knowing about her struggles and the fact that she still doesn't get any professional support or how her condition can affect every aspect of her life if it makes one person more tolerant and understanding. It might not be our job to educate others but I'd like others to know, perhaps then we'd face less judgement.

debbiewest0s garphic is here

anistarrose.tumblr.com/post/190779301116

Don't forget Rebecca Burgess
the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

@AliceLivesHere actually I was agreeing with @covidcloser.

Nobody has said that every autistic person has the same challenges and support needs - but it's far more complicated than a line from not autistic to really autistic. Autistic people struggle in different areas. They can have high support needs in one area and find other areas quite straightforward. And that doesn't change the fact that they are autistic - it's something you either are or aren't, not a spectrum.

Graphic, even

My DB was so dyslexic that he couldn’t read at 11. My Mum had just trained as a teacher and had him diagnosed and hired a specialist tutor. This was in the 70s The Headmaster at his school said “The trouble with you middle class parents is that you cannot accept that your child is thick.” He became a very successful engineer.

Because I had learnt to read, albeit slowly, but then voraciously, and though I never learned to spell and was a complete mystery to my teachers as my insight in the humanities classroom never translated to good marks in exams, assumed to be laziness and “insouciance”, it never occurred to me I was also dyslexic. I just gravitated into a career where my way of thinking was an advantage and developed other coping mechanisms. Every single one of my DB and I’s children have been diagnosed as dyslexic, and have had the support to achieve their potential.

In my career I facilitated very senior managers, MDs and Board Members to develop strategic plans. It was so common for them to be holistic thinkers who could see the wood for the trees but absolutely hopeless on paper………..

We had one autistic child in my school which I loved as there was a ‘special school’ around the corner so we never got to mix with them and vice Versa. Naughty kids (myself included) would get a slap if we were naughty. Times have changed so much

@FibroFighter81

IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO EDUCATE YOU!!! As a mum of ASD children, there just ISN'T enough time to explain the complexities and limitations of ASD / SEN.

Google is free

Google is also full of Billy Bollocks. It's hard to know what to believe. There is no substitute for hearing first hand experiences. Straight from the horses' mouth, if you like. These accounts have much more value than text books and statistics.

The last time I really thought about ASD was when I was doing a neuroscience module at uni (late 90s) and there was maybe two or three paragraphs in my main textbook about something they called 'locked in syndrome' that only really happened to boys. So yes, it is interesting to consider how things have changed since then and I'd like to say thanks for the thread.

Under diagnosed.

There was a kid in my sibling's class. My Dad said he "wasn't the full shilling". The lad was away with the fairies. Obsessed with watching the cars outside on the road. Didn't play with any other kids, stared out of the window in class and continually shouted at by the teachers. With what I know now he would have had an autism diagnosis now.

A lad in my class. Described as naughty. Just couldn't help himself. I suspect now had ADHD.

They were just labelled naughty kids in my day.

In my parents day, would have ended up in an institution.

My kids have autism diagnoses. I suspect I'm on the spectrum. A close friend from Primary school presents as autistic.

I can see traits of neurodiversity in several family members on both sides of the family.

Autistic people from my generation suffered on. Misdiagnosed with depression, suicidal, bullied, described as scatter brained etc

@FibroFighter81

IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO EDUCATE YOU!!! As a mum of ASD children, there just ISN'T enough time to explain the complexities and limitations of ASD / SEN.

Google is free

the people who have shared information have enlightened me and taught me a lot. this has broadened my self awareness and awareness of others.

I never said it was your job to educate me, you are free to ignore.

I admit that my frivolous little ending to my op might seem silly. Apologies for that.

I'm 55, I only got my autism diagnosis in 2019. I had a horrific time at school, I was in a massive secondary school that had over 2500 pupils, I couldn't cope with the noise, pushing & shoving changing lessons, the social interactions, I used to spend my break times hiding away wherever I could & going home for my lunch. I was badly bullied, punched, kicked, pushed down stairs, having my belongings stolen & damaged. I became almost mute in lessons, I turned up but zoned out, I left school with hardly any qualifications even though on paper I should have got much better grades. I wasn't a child who played out, I was happier in my bedroom escaping with a book to places in my head or playing with my Sindy dolls even though I was too old to be playing with them. On the rare occasions I did play out I always played with younger children. I struggled when I finally got a job, all the same insecurities I had at school. If I had been able to get a diagnosis I hope I would have got help, my ds is autistic too & he has had some support ever since his diagnosis, extra time in exams, a pastoral manager he could speak to if he was struggling, a safe space he can use if things are getting too much for him, excellent support from the neurodisability team at the hospital he got his diagnosis from. I really wonder how many adults have not been diagnosed with Autism ADHD etc who have been labelled difficult, not intelligent, weird, when if they had a diagnosis could have reached their full potential & had a much better life than they do now.

Definitely some under diagnosis. I was just the strange super smart girl.

I’ve seen some theories on pair matching. With women in higher education and the workforce and STEM reigning supreme, certain types of Nuevo-diverse people have the opportunity to meet and pair off that never existed before. You end up with quirky parents like me, with ASD, and DH, who isn’t ASD but doesn’t fit in well with mainstream people, producing kids who are like us. Then you have an not only a system more prepared to recognize conditions, especially in girls, but parents who have been through it themselves so know the signs and struggles.

The long and short of it that autistic people come in a HUGE range, exactly the same as neurotypical people do.

My dc are both autistic and both have been subjected (!) to the same parenting.
One is chaotic and messy
One is ordered (but still messy!)
One is cautious and careful with money
One is hopeless with it!
One has little problem making decisions
One is crippled by them
One loves concerts and loud music
One can't bear it (they both loathe sudden loud noises though!)
One is empathetic
One struggles with empathy
One stims a LOT
One never stims, ever

They both would be deemed to be 'high functioning' but both will struggle enormously in different situations. I think this is the problem with understanding autism, people can't get their heads around the fact that autistic people aren't readily identifiable by a tick box exercise, they aren't the same, they aren't all rain man, Sheldon Cooper or non-verbal, unable to cope with the world.

I am enormously grateful that both my dc are able to function well within NT society. I think parenting an autistic child who doesn't, must be much, much harder but I am resentful of the fact though that I am praised and my dc are praised because 'you would never know' they are autistic. Sadly that is the thing that will make life toughest for them. They have honed their masking to 'fit in' but that comes at a high emotional and physical cost to them. The disbelief is tiresome - the more people are educated, the less I have to explain!

An illustration that gives good understanding of 'the spectrum' you will understand why were not all on it.
the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

Under diagnosed, especially in girls.

I've attached one of my school reports from when I was about 5, year 1/primary 2 age.

This one is quite kind, but as I got older it became more about "must try harder" "needs to put in more effort".

But my behaviour was good in general, too chatty and worked too slowly was the complaint. I generally got most answers right when tested so I wasn't seen as a problem. I really was trying my best though, I was quite a keen wee thing.

When I got to secondary school it got harder keeping up with everything and I didn't meet people's expectations. I did 'ok' and went on to scrape through a degree, with a lot of last minute panic studying and exams I had to re sit.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s, after it was highlighted that one of my children was struggling with similar issues and I read a description online by chance.

Medication and trying to find workarounds for my poor working memory/the fact I have no sense of time is helping, but I'm glad that children are able to get help much earlier now.

Maybe I could have met people's expectations and not spent 30 years anxious about fucking everything up 😏

(I did fuck a lot up, the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop constantly is maddening. Also the feeling of constantly letting people down by forgetting what you said you'd do)

I remember when I was at primary school there was one boy who spent all playtime every playtime walking around the edge of the waving his arms. In hindsight there is nothing more obvious than him being autistic but then he was just a “bit strange”

Thankfully since then we have come a long way (not far enough!) and there is a lot more understanding and hopefully as a result more people are getting the diagnosis - and as a result support they need.

The figures for those who end up in prision who are later diagnosed with autism or other similar problems is scary. It shows why support is vital

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s, after it was highlighted that one of my children was struggling with similar issues and I read a description online by chance.

Medication and trying to find workarounds for my poor working memory/the fact I have no sense of time is helping, but I'm glad that children are able to get help much earlier now.

Maybe I could have met people's expectations and not spent 30 years anxious about fucking everything up 😏

I could have written this word for word @Galvantula. I found one of my old secondary school reports a while ago. It said 'ThyNameIsDave' would do so much better if she just stopped worrying .

@ThyNameIsDave 🙁

I spent years trying to explain why I was so extremely anxious about everything. I had (not quite as bad now) total decision paralysis as well. Could not express my opinion on the slightest thing. Completely destroyed my confidence and self esteem over time.

Haven't read the whole thread but some of OP's questions sound very much like someone doing official research than just 'curiosity'.

@okcookie does that matter? If someone wants to know more about SEN/ASD etc? Everyone who posts knows this is for public consumption 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Okcookie

Haven't read the whole thread but some of OP's questions sound very much like someone doing official research than just 'curiosity'.

No they don't. Official research isn't conducted through mumsnet

You know what I mean, not official as in governmental but for school/uni projects or a crappy newspaper article.

I'm not saying they shouldn't do it, just saying what I think.

Which I thought was allowed on a forum for public consumption? Or is it not? Educate me