To feel very suspicious of her?

[Suspicious122]

My friend is a dietician for the NHS.
I have been undergoing some treatment at a different hospital than hers. My issue is she seems to know details which she really shouldn't know especially as my issue is nothing to do with her area of knowledge. I am starting to think she has looked at my file. Aibu to ask if this is possible?

she may not be told.

If she has been lookong at ops records then absolutely action zhould be taken.

But its a different hospital and different department; so chabces are its just atuff zhe has pkcked up or she saw the OP going in for her appointment

legal documents and she's clearly no respect for these

But the woman could be completely innocent.

@starfishmummy

If she has been lookong at ops records then absolutely action zhould be taken.

But its a different hospital and different department; so chabces are its just atuff zhe has pkcked up or she saw the OP going in for her appointment

she still should keep her gob shut and she knows this. It will have been taught to her during training and hammered in during refresher traing.

@Thiscantreallybehappening

I get what you're saying but op says "she seems to know specifics that she shouldn't know as my issue isn't in her field of expertise etc" All I am asking is are the specifics relating to her health issue? If they are then it is perfectly possible that a dietician may know lots about other fields of expertise. For instance, specifics about Chrons disease as diet effects it, irritable bowel, anorexic etc.

I am not asking her to state exactly what those specifics are but to say either specifics of the health issue or future appointments cannot be outing surely. I still find this off somehow! Sorry, not trying to be mean, but......

Yes easily, she could go down to the hospital basement and ‘pull’ your paper file out and have a snoop. My SIL has done this with her own and her kids, I think she’s done it to more people but I couldn’t prove anything. It’s easy.

@Suspicious122 have you got any further? Did you ask who had access?

Gamesetmatch
Where does your SiL work

In hospitals etc paper records usually have to be signed out. Basically there is always an audit trail, anyone who thinks there isn't is probably wrong.

@Qwertywertyisme

If you look at the OP's other posts, she clearly states that she is 99.9% sure that this friend has looked. IMO, OP is making it quite clear that this friend knows specific information about OP's condition/treatment that she couldn't possibly know.

It is one thing having knowledge of a condition and generally advising, quite another when someone appears to know specifics about your treatment. This doesn't come across as a one-off conversation either, it seems this has dawned on OP after several things have been said.

@Suspicious122

It must be a really horrible feeling, but I would think twice...

-you might be underestimating your friends knowledge beyond her immediate working role. Multi-disciplinary working means most health professionals end up with a wide knowledge beyond their training

-she might just be well trained in nodding along, active listening etc, making you feel like she "knows" something

Have you asked her? "It feels like you know a lot about this...?"

Totally appropriate to make a complaint if you feel quite certain. It is a massive breech of trust. But I think you are very unlikely to be able to request that they investigate who has accessed your notes without making a complaint which explicitly names your friend. In most places I've worked if someone went through PALS/records/management with a request for this they'd be asked to raise a specific complaint first. For this reason you might want to think about how certain you are- there's no coming back from making a complaint about a friend (she will have a right to know, and a right to reply) if you are wrong.

@SwimmingOnEggshells

I know there is no excuse but do you want your friend fired? I would raise it with her before pursuing official channels.

this is not about the op and her (hopefully ex) chum. Do you not get this? As I said further up the thread....imagine its you...you have had several abortions/been a sex worker of a very risky and specialised kind/been beaten by your husband/had a psychotic break and tried to kill your child...need I go on? Once someone has done this (OK she may not have done) she can no longer be trusted full stop! you ask would you do it to a friend? My answer is that anyone who would do this ceases to be a friend the moment they do it...and not just to me but to anybody

It seems hugely unlikely. Is your health issue really that interesting that she'd risk her entire career to find out about it? I doubt it.
You're being vague about what was said. You may think the information is unique to you but isn't it more likely that your illness or condition is following a pathway that anyone with any knowledge of that field, would be able to recognise or guess?

How long have you known this friend and how good a friend is she?

At the time she gave the info out, did you say 'how do you now that?'

It's hard to go without much information

[quote Psychonabike]@Suspicious122

It must be a really horrible feeling, but I would think twice...

-you might be underestimating your friends knowledge beyond her immediate working role. Multi-disciplinary working means most health professionals end up with a wide knowledge beyond their training

-she might just be well trained in nodding along, active listening etc, making you feel like she "knows" something

Have you asked her? "It feels like you know a lot about this...?"

Totally appropriate to make a complaint if you feel quite certain. It is a massive breech of trust. But I think you are very unlikely to be able to request that they investigate who has accessed your notes without making a complaint which explicitly names your friend. In most places I've worked if someone went through PALS/records/management with a request for this they'd be asked to raise a specific complaint first. For this reason you might want to think about how certain you are- there's no coming back from making a complaint about a friend (she will have a right to know, and a right to reply) if you are wrong.[/quote]
actually you can...I think you can ask for innappropriate access to be checked but you won't be told as much about the outcome...but why would you not name them? If there is nothing wrong then there is no problem and there is any kind of problem, it needs addressing. Either way I think the freindship is shot. As I said on an e system, if nothing is wrong, she may never know...of course if there is an issue then the complainers name is going to come out as part of the accusation.

@TheGlassBlowersDaughter

It seems hugely unlikely. Is your health issue really that interesting that she'd risk her entire career to find out about it? I doubt it. You're being vague about what was said. You may think the information is unique to you but isn't it more likely that your illness or condition is following a pathway that anyone with any knowledge of that field, would be able to recognise or guess?

oh people do.....as has been said on this thread.

If she is in the same trust, it sounds like it needs raising. If in a different trust, she won't have access. Is she working in the same trust?

Yy people do but it is rare and they don't tend to be casual acquaintances. I know everyone on MN tries to turn everything into a massive drama but it's much more likely that the information OP thinks is unique to her is actually a common medical pathway. OP's already shown her naivety by thinking a dietician would not have knowledge of any other areas whether through personal experience or through multi-disciplinary work.

@TheGlassBlowersDaughter

Yy people do but it is rare and they don't tend to be casual acquaintances. I know everyone on MN tries to turn everything into a massive drama but it's much more likely that the information OP thinks is unique to her is actually a common medical pathway. OP's already shown her naivety by thinking a dietician would not have knowledge of any other areas whether through personal experience or through multi-disciplinary work.

naivety? that's not polite

@Qwertywertyisme

I'm finding this thread really odd! There are pages and pages of posters asking the OP what exactly did her friend know? Was it general stuff that most of us could work out (especially in the medical field) or was it very specific as in appointment dates etc. I cannot see one reply from the OP answering this question.

If op doesn’t want her friend to know details, she’s hardly likely to tell us![ confused]

@TheGlassBlowersDaughter

I think the OP has made it quite clear that this friend appears to know personal information about the OP that she couldn't have got from anywhere else. I don't think this is a case of someone generally knowing about a condition and advising.

I haven't seen anywhere that OP has referred to this friend as a casual acquaintance but apologies if I have missed something.

OP is quite clear that her friends area of expertise has nothing to do with her condition/treatment. I am sure she has taken into account that some areas can cross over.

You would be surprised at how nosey some people are and how they think it is okay to snoop. It probably doesn't cross their minds that the person would work it out and then ask for an audit.

The "friend" who I am 99.9% sure was looking at my DC's Uni records got away with it because I was told by someone else it couldn't possibly happen, so I never took it forward. Some years later, I found out she did have access and I regret not pursuing the matter.

This "friend" knows everything about everyone, there really are people like that out there.

[quote Thiscantreallybehappening]**@TheGlassBlowersDaughter

I think the OP has made it quite clear that this friend appears to know personal information about the OP that she couldn't have got from anywhere else. I don't think this is a case of someone generally knowing about a condition and advising.

I haven't seen anywhere that OP has referred to this friend as a casual acquaintance but apologies if I have missed something.

OP is quite clear that her friends area of expertise has nothing to do with her condition/treatment. I am sure she has taken into account that some areas can cross over.

You would be surprised at how nosey some people are and how they think it is okay to snoop. It probably doesn't cross their minds that the person would work it out and then ask for an audit.

The "friend" who I am 99.9% sure was looking at my DC's Uni records got away with it because I was told by someone else it couldn't possibly happen, so I never took it forward. Some years later, I found out she did have access and I regret not pursuing the matter.

This "friend" knows everything about everyone, there really are people like that out there.[/quote]
Yes there sbsolutely are. I used to live near one...what was worse was that she used to draw nasty and wrong comclusions from what she knew and then pass them around as truth

To be clear, she didn't get her info of medical records.

@godmum56

she may not be told.

She would probably hear whether her friend lost her job though.

Did you find anything out OP?