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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel very suspicious of her?

224 replies

Suspicious122 · 28/06/2021 21:42

My friend is a dietician for the NHS.
I have been undergoing some treatment at a different hospital than hers. My issue is she seems to know details which she really shouldn't know especially as my issue is nothing to do with her area of knowledge. I am starting to think she has looked at my file. Aibu to ask if this is possible?

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 29/06/2021 06:12

@QueenBee52

many hospitals still us paper notes, and I couldn't access another hospitals electronic notes etc.

if it were paper notes.. she would definitely have to have sought them out yes?

Absolutely, in my hospital you'd have to request and sign out from medical records team.
MichelleScarn · 29/06/2021 06:16

@Hobnobsandbroomstick

"As someone has asked, is the hospital in the same trust, or a different one? If it's a different trust then the answer is no, if it's the same one, you can for a check on what she has accessed."

This. Are the hospitals part of the same trust OP?

It may be that she is just assuming what your treatment will be based on one of the symptoms that you have mentioned to her (if you have mentioned anything to her?). Although if you're going to report her rather than ask her then I'm guessing you're not particularly good friends?

Has OP actually mentioned yet what exactly it is the 'friend' has said/appears to know? Given the avoidance of this and the determination to report and complain, I'm now thinking its this that is the actual main focus and they are not actually 'friends' and op just wants to find a way to make trouble. I hope this is not the case and it is just some form of crossed wires.
Chicoryhickory · 29/06/2021 06:33

Could you ask her the question "how do you know so much about my medical condition?"

DeciduousPerennial · 29/06/2021 06:53

It’s not just medical jobs where this drilled in as part of training and then regularly once in post. It’s the same in jobs in sectors like financial services etc too.

And they ALL - without fail - regularly have people going through disciplinary procedures and then ultimately dismissal for breaches related to accessing records they had no reason to, even though they knew they shouldn’t have done it, and knew there were systems in place to identify them if complaints were made.

The knowledge that your job is at risk is no deterrent to some people, and being in NHS confers no special status on anyone either - it’s a massive organisation with a broad range of people, and there will be those who breach rules and regulations (knowingly or not) or who underperform, despite knowing that their job is at risk, and even knowing that their ability to practice again is on the line. People are still people at the end of it all.

Guavaf1sh · 29/06/2021 06:53

Shame that you’d wreck a friendship and not care to get your friend fired over a mere suspicion. What if it turned out that she hadn’t looked?

Nicolastuffedone · 29/06/2021 07:02

Tbh, I know a consultant who looked up his neighbours test results at the neighbours request and was given barely a slap on the wrist. When it was paper case notes, I know of nurses who looked at their friends/neighbours. The senior staff in the dept knew it went on 🤷‍♀️ That’s why any medical treatment I ever needed was carried out elsewhere!

Morgan12 · 29/06/2021 07:11

Why don't you just ask her since this seems the easiest option?

frumpety · 29/06/2021 07:14

It is difficult to know without more detail from you OP, if you haven't told another single soul ever about your symptoms or the fact that you are recieving any treatment or have even been to hospital, then it would be suspicious that she knows which hospital you have been in, when and why etc.
If the treatment you have been recieving is the normal treatment for somebody with your symptoms/diagnosis, and you have mentioned those symptoms before or if they are obvious, then she might just have put two and two together, she would also be aware of the most likely ward/hospital you would recieve that treatment in without the need to check any records.

WeatherSystems · 29/06/2021 07:15

@Guavaf1sh

Shame that you’d wreck a friendship and not care to get your friend fired over a mere suspicion. What if it turned out that she hadn’t looked?
They’d need proof to sack her. If she hasn’t done it they won’t have any grounds or desire to sack her.
blissfulllife · 29/06/2021 07:27

My exh had a gf who worked in a hospital. I was taken in very sick with an ectopic pregnancy. No one except me and my partner knew the full reason. Told people it was an on going medical problem because we wanted to come to terms with it together first. Anyway exh rings and tells me how sorry he is for our loss.

Long story short I reported her and it's traceable. She got sacked .

covidcloser · 29/06/2021 07:28

@Guavaf1sh

Shame that you’d wreck a friendship and not care to get your friend fired over a mere suspicion. What if it turned out that she hadn’t looked?

Well if she hadn't looked she won't be getting the sack Confused

nellly · 29/06/2021 07:34

Is it possible that if she works in a medical setting she just knows more than the average person so it seems like she looked? I work in property law but some of my colleagues work in litigation, if you were suing someone I would know more than the average bystander about process and might ask questions about which statements were due when and whether you had a certain type of hearing if we were chatting about it, so it might seem like I knew your file personally but really just understand the process.

You could put in a subject access request to find out who has viewed your file.

strawberrydonuts · 29/06/2021 07:36

@Suspicious122

My friend is a dietician for the NHS. I have been undergoing some treatment at a different hospital than hers. My issue is she seems to know details which she really shouldn't know especially as my issue is nothing to do with her area of knowledge. I am starting to think she has looked at my file. Aibu to ask if this is possible?
What does she actually know? Is it specifics about your case or is it just about the type of treatment you would be having for the condition you have? (These things can be looked up on Google or she might have heard other health professionals talking about it).

I think you should broach it with your friend before you go calling up the hospital and reporting her. It's a serious accusation and she could lose her job over it.

Cloverleaf20 · 29/06/2021 07:38

Sounds like you have no solid evidence , things are often not what they seem . I am sure she wouldn’t be that stupid to access your records and even more stupid if she had done to drop hints to you that she knows !

strawberrydonuts · 29/06/2021 07:39

Also just to add, a qualified dietician will know full well the severity of repercussions for doing something like this.

I'm not saying it can't/ doesn't happen, but it's really not the case that healthcare professionals can just access whatever they want and look up their friends and family without consequences.

It's a very serious matter.

Standrewsschool · 29/06/2021 07:40

Hospital computers can be audited, so there will be a trial if she has gone into your notes. You can ask the hospital authorities to see she has accessed her notes.

However, if she works in a medical setting, it’s easy to pick up knowledge. If she’s a nutritionist, she probably has to have a working knowledge of a wide number of illnesses and diseases. Could she just have picked up on the information you’ve mentioned, and elaborated with the general knowledge she has. She would be stupid to access your notes and to reveal what she has learnt.

SmokeyDevil · 29/06/2021 07:42

@Guavaf1sh

Shame that you’d wreck a friendship and not care to get your friend fired over a mere suspicion. What if it turned out that she hadn’t looked?
She won't be fired and may not even know about the audit happening if she has done nothing wrong. Completely her fault if she has and she deserves to be fired.
jacks11 · 29/06/2021 07:43

If it’s with the same trust, even if different hospitals, it is technically possible that your friend could access all or part of your record. Exactly what she could see would depend on her clearance- not all staff have access to all the records.

If she has, and it’s electronically (which it almost certainly will be, especially if she works at a different hospital), then that would be traceable. If she has looked, then that is gross misconduct and she will almost certainly lose her job. Many professional bodies would also take a dim view of this and it may affect her registration/lead to disciplinary action or restrictions on practice.

If you want to check, you will need to raise a complaint that you believe your friend has been accessing your records and get the hospital to check the records log to see if she has accessed your records.

ObviousNameChage · 29/06/2021 07:50

@Cloverleaf20

Sounds like you have no solid evidence , things are often not what they seem . I am sure she wouldn’t be that stupid to access your records and even more stupid if she had done to drop hints to you that she knows !
Funny how no one is "that stupid" but it still happens.
Drivingmeupthewall · 29/06/2021 07:57

@MichelleScarn

Has OP actually mentioned yet what exactly it is the 'friend' has said/appears to know? Given the avoidance of this and the determination to report and complain, I'm now thinking its this that is the actual main focus and they are not actually 'friends' and op just wants to find a way to make trouble.
I hope this is not the case and it is just some form of crossed wires.

From what I can gather, the friend is a dietician. OP has had a diagnosis of something unrelated to that field that only her and her partner know about. But the dietician friend has been making comments which suggests she also knows, which is making OP suspicious. Of course, she may have mentioned symptoms to her friend, who has put two and two together. But as dieticians are not medics, but HCPs with dietetics degrees, then her knowledge would not likely be clinically relevant. That’s what I’ve gleaned so far, anyway.

languagelover96 · 29/06/2021 07:59

This is possible. Report it and see what happens.

LakieLady · 29/06/2021 07:59

I wish I'd known this when my ex-SIL accessed the records of an acquaintance and told all the regulars at our local about the acquaintances mental health issues.

QueenStromba · 29/06/2021 08:04

It could be innocent. I know someone who was shielding but he's very careful not to say why, I was able to figure out exactly what drug he's taking and therefore what he has just from a side effect he mentioned and I'm not even a medical professional.

ApolloandDaphne · 29/06/2021 08:05

Before you go in all guns blazing can you consider that she may know things because she is a medical professional rather than because she has accessed your records? Does she know details pertaining to you and you only or general things about your condition?

StillCalmX · 29/06/2021 08:09

@QueenStromba

It could be innocent. I know someone who was shielding but he's very careful not to say why, I was able to figure out exactly what drug he's taking and therefore what he has just from a side effect he mentioned and I'm not even a medical professional.
i worked out something from a number of (to some other people) v small clues. I then said nothing. But i wonder if that's not possible in op's situation. The friend works in a hospital and issues that might seem v random to you or i might just instantly provide the last piece of a puzzle to her
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