Massages between friends, when one is in a relationship

[Etherel]

... and used to date the other person...

Flirting, sexual or simply a thing between friends? Especially when this person has back issues and need massages quite frequently, usually gets them from their partner?

We're talking shirts off, but bra on the girl on, and obviously trousers on.

Sexual. Mainly because of the history....

Not sure exactly what you mean. What's going on? Someone's obviously doing something you don't like? Is your dp giving massages to his ex? And, no o wouldn't be impressed!

I don't want to say what side I'm on. A and B used to date. Split up a year before B and C started seeing each other. B has back and neck issues and needs massages quite frequently, requests them daily from C. B is used to getting and giving massages to friends, but not professionally, only ever between friends, but usually of the opposite sex. C is uncomfortable with A and B massaging each other, despite only shorts off and the rest of the clothing left on.

I hate these type of posts, waiting to find out what people think before admitting who you are.
FWIW I wouldn’t want someone I was seeing getting massages from anyone else unless it’s a pro. (And only the right kind of pro) Regardless if they were once an item, although it does tip the scales even more to the no.

That was meant to say shirts, not shorts.

Why are you all going round massaging each other? Weird!

B should see a professional for his massages not an ex

Your boyfriend is getting massages off his ex, who is just a normal civilian, not a trained masseuse? Nah, fuck that.

How needy is he to demand massages all the time anyway? The entire situation is off putting.

Highly inappropriate for A and B to continue to massage each other.
They need to both take steps away from this scenario.

If post split they had carried on with the arrangement and neither were in a relationship it would be a bit odd

• but now C is involved and this changes things regarding respect for C.

As B needs daily massages he could buy a massage chair to make him more independent in this , a hand held machine to make it less onerous for C or go less often to a professional for a deeper massage.

So your partner and his ex are frequently “massaging” each other.

Yeah I bet they are. You actually believe this guff?

C needs to get out of this relationship.

so inappropriate.

Did the massage take place when C was present? If not, how would C know whether clothing was removed or not, or what body parts were massaged?

I can just about imagine getting a bit of a shoulder rub, fully dressed, from a close friend, but not more than that, even of the same sex.

Removing of clothes and the history makes it something to be avoided IMO, even if it is completely innocent which it almost certainly isn't

Can you just explain in plain English please. Would be much much easier.

No, C was not present. B has always been clear about back issues and even between B and C massages are often not a precursor to sex.

You're the partner trying to persuade your self new partner this is all above board aren't you?

Sorry no one should be massaging anyone that they have previously had a relationship with, its just inappropriate

Why are they both taking their shirts off? Only the one being massaged needs to do that

This is very odd and I wouldn't be comfortable about it at all. Massages are intimate unless the person is qualified.

Not appropriate. Whichever one you are.

I would feel weird and uncomfortable taking part in massages with a friend I wasn’t sexually attracted to, so much so that I wouldn’t do it. Massages take place either between professionals and clients or lovers, imo.

Pay for it . If they have back pain, getting a non professional one is a waste of time ....

I’m thinking you’re C, that you’re allowed any reasonable boundaries you feel comfortable with and if your DO receiving massages from his ex isn’t something you’re comfortable with, you need to voice it and be prepared to hold that line.

C needs to find their dignity and end the relationship.

If you're C run for the hills. If you're A or B, you can't honestly think that any of this is OK.