Massages between friends, when one is in a relationship

[Etherel]

... and used to date the other person...

Flirting, sexual or simply a thing between friends? Especially when this person has back issues and need massages quite frequently, usually gets them from their partner?

We're talking shirts off, but bra on the girl on, and obviously trousers on.

Not OK!! Especially because massager A seems to take her shirt off (but leave bra on), is that correct? Why would she need to take some of her clothes off to give an effective massage?? But even without that detail, it wouldn't be OK.

I can give B the number for an excellent chiropracter🙄

The only person - apart from their partner - anyone should be getting a massage from is a trained professional. Particularly if they have back issues. Someone untrained can actually do damage.

B sounds repulsive, btw. They need massages quite frequently? Yeah, right. Scummy sounding bloke who is demanding women pander to his needs.

Inappropriate.

I wouldn't be ok with it but it doesnt matter about my opinion the question is are you ok with it? I'm guessing not so much since you started this thread. It all seems a bit strange tbh op

I don’t massage any of my friends, they don’t massage me either.

I’m wondering if I’m doing friends wrong to be honest

Ex partners should not be “massaging” each other regularly.

I struggle to think of any of my exes who I would be comfortable doing this with whilst in a relationship with another person to be honest.

DAILY
DAILY MASSAGES with tops off.

wtf kind of place are you all living. If it’s not a free love commune then no, clearly it’s not ok

And is everyone taking their shirts off…

I can’t be doing with the ABC business but IMO friends shouldn’t be massaging each other, topless. Especially not if there is a past sexual relationship. I’d even be uncomfortable having a professional, paid massage from a friend. It’s weirdly intimate.

To be clear, the daily massages are between B and C. A and B see each other every few months.

But yes, I am C and very glad I'm not the only one thinking this is, at best, weird. I wondered whether times had changed as I am quite a bit older than those other two.

To be fair, I don't have reason to believe that more is going on from his side (many reasons, but part of his ASD is brutal honesty), but I do have my worries about her. I do, however, wonder how a potential partner for her would see the whole thing; she's been single since DP and her broke up.

I don’t think this is normal at all. If you are C tell B to either stop getting massages from their ex or feck off.

To be clear, the daily massages are between B and C

But yes, I am C

Have you got your letters mixed up here? I can’t make head nor tail of this now but it’s messed up whatever way it goes.

Strangest most bizarre question I’ve ever heard.. ??? If you have back issues you don’t ask friends for massages you get professional help. Why would anyone think otherwise.. I think there a few social dynamic issues at play here..

Not appropriate.

Unless one of the party is a physio or chiropractor, very very inappropriate.

And even then - Find another physio.

Totally inappropriate. If your partner has back issues he needs to see a chiropractor, not his ex

If A were specially qualified and B could not afford to pay for this service from someone else and he was in pain then fine. Otherwise it is not appropriate.

Why does he see her every few months? Even that is strange.

I would feel weird and uncomfortable taking part in massages with a friend I wasn’t sexually attracted to, so much so that I wouldn’t do it. Massages take place either between professionals and clients or lovers, imo

Same here @Boood. I don't do touchy feely stuff, especially things like massages, to anyone other than those I'm in (or want) a sexual relationship with, or a professional. Otherwise I'm hands off.
So YANBU @Etherel, I wouldn't like it

Numerous things about this have given me Ick. Very Icky.

@Sensateria

To be clear, the daily massages are between B and C

But yes, I am C

Have you got your letters mixed up here? I can’t make head nor tail of this now but it’s messed up whatever way it goes.

OP's partner is B (I think) and asks for daily massages from C (who is OP) because of his back problems. A is his ex who he sees every so often, and gets half clothed massages from her. Have I got that right?

I'm guessing OP knows about the level of clothing because her partner has told her, which could be entirely open and honest, or could be the same as "Nothing happened I swear...well she kissed me...ok I kissed her back but that was it! Ok ok we slept together once...maybe a few times" etc etc. We have no way of knowing.

Do you trust your partner OP? If you do, it doesn't matter what her angle is, because if he's a trustworthy guy she could strip off and wiggle her naked boobs in his face and he wouldn't do anything.

“Massages between friends” oh please. That is NOT a thing. Sob story re back problems? Boohoo, pay for a masseuse then.

Even if you really push the limits of imagination and say he’s only getting massages because he’s got issues that he needs massages for what is the reason for her having to be in her bra/be massaged then??

@Honeyroar

Even if you really push the limits of imagination and say he’s only getting massages because he’s got issues that he needs massages for what is the reason for her having to be in her bra/be massaged then??

I too wondered this.

This makes little sense. Have you got your a b and c’s mixed uo

Massages between b and c are fine, who you said the massages are between, so that’s you and your partner?

Is there massages between a and b and you forgot to mention it?

Sorry, did both A and B have their shirts off? Why would you take your shirt off to give a totally platonic mate a back massage for therapy reasons?

I was confused, too. Massaging him with her breasts? You won't get that on the national health.