To be angry my options are very limited

[thelostwoman]

Hello all,
Sorry this is a really long post.
I think I am just using this as a way of letting off some stress/anger at my life and the part I've played in messing it up.
I am 30 years old and still haven't sorted any of my life out.
• I left school at 11/12 and only did 1 year at college at 16. So my education is non existent.
• I went from low skilled job to low skilled job only lasting up to a year at a time before moving on.
• I got pregnant at 26 to a much older man who is now like an alcoholic teenager who doesn't take responsibility. Upside I finally ended the relationship yesterday for good even though we have not lived together since Jan 2020 because of his habits.
• I have only 2 friends who both live the other side of the country and my family that are alive are either uninterested or toxic.
• I had a business that I ran from home that was my hope/future and was doing really well but my landlord has had to ask me to stop it because of his insurance. I can't afford to rent out office/storage space around this area.
• I have no idea how I'm going to manage a normal job as child minders that are left around my area either only take clients from 9-3 or/and don't do school runs to the school my DD has been assigned.
• Jobs that I am suitable for ask for complete flexibility in shifts/working hours which I can't do.
• To get an education I would first need to take GCSEs and then an access course, which under UC I can't do without losing most of the income they give.
• I have no idea what I would train in even if I could go to university.
• I am seriously looking at onlyfans/chaturbate/livejasmin/myfreecams and other camgirl sites as a way to make an income though I know it is very hard work and the top earners work 60+ hours a week between content creating and advertising.

I'm lying here next to my DD with her chest infection in bed and all I can think of is how much I'm failing her and how I wanted her to have a much better life than the one I had growing up. But my past choices have made it near impossible.

This has ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated. Hopefully some of you have made it to the end.

So AIBU to be angry at myself for my past decisions making my life even harder now?

You can get a degree with the Open University OP, it’s open to anyone with the ability. You will be eligible for a student loan which you only pay back once you earn over a certain amount and only in small amounts until you earn higher amounts.

I was expelled from school before I complete my GCSE’s. I gained a first class honours degree and a post grad qualification from the Open University and it changed my life.

If you have a business that is really working and you can earn a living, I would try everything to keep that going. Do you absolutely need the loft space? Could you reconfigure the existing living space? Can you secure insurance yourself? Rent a storage unit? Get part-time work while also working the businesses to bring in extra cash to help cover the extra expenses for now. It seems impossible because there is just so much happening right now, but work every angle and it might be salvageable.

Suggest
Contact council to change to single person council tax

Change your universal credit claim to single person with child

Claim child maintenance

@MagicSummer

How did you manage to leave school at 11/12? I am intrigued, particularly as it is against the law.

lots of people do like travelers, the law only requires 'home schooling'.

I was out of school for over a year due to an ongoing dispute with the school about abuse and nothing was done about me not being in education.

My DS attended a club which had many 'hippy' type families that 'home schooled', I got to know some and was invited to 'see their world' and their kids would sleep until 1pm then eat and then attend 'clubs' which they claimed was schooling (it was not it was a play clubs etc... where kids hung out and learned things like yoyo and card tricks).