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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so traumatised?

60 replies

TwinkleToeMatilda · 26/06/2021 20:28

So earlier today was driving home. Up the slip road I went and there was a pigeon slap bang in middle of my lane. I seriously thought it would move but it didn’t budge. I slammed on but I just knew there was no way that I would have managed to stop in time not to hit it... unless I swerved into the the grass verge so I over it I went. I thought there could be a chance it would be ok and not get hurt because the poor thing was directly underneath my car so not like I would of got it with my tyres but as I looked into my rear view mirror there was feathers flying EVERYWHERE. I could see it tumbling about to the side afterwards which I seriously hope was due to the gust of wind from my vehicle and not because it was half alive. But I just couldn’t believe I hit it. I cried and felt so sick. Told my partner and he thought it wasn’t not a big deal at all and that you kill thousands of flies etc when driving. I have never hit anything before and I just keep having flashbacks of seeing the feathers everywhere. I was close to going back to check to see if it was dead or not but due to where it happened there would be no safe place for me to pull over.

Before anyone says I know there’s worse that’s going on in the world and there loads of road kill on the roads but I seriously feel AWFUL.

AIBU or do I just get over it?

OP posts:
I8toys · 26/06/2021 20:31

I think you just have to unfortunately. Its horrible and not much you can do. I ran over a squirrel once, it was hopping happily across the road and I felt awful. If it was an animal that was a pet then you would stop but for a wild animal I don't think you would.

comedycentral · 26/06/2021 20:33

So sorry to hear this, modern cars are so quiet, it's hard for wildlife to respond quickly enough.

Could you distract yourself? Tidy your wardrobe or clean out a draw, go for a run?

mytrueaccount · 26/06/2021 20:35

If the pigeon didn't fly away from car (no need for sound; they have eyes) it was already ill

Dillydollydingdong · 26/06/2021 20:36

It's easily done. I hit a bird a couple of weeks ago. It was a medium sized grey bird, delicately stepping out from the side of the road and I thought it would stop, but it didn't. It would have been too dangerous to swerve out of the way. So I had to hit it, sadly. I just thought oh you stupid bird. I was sad but it could have been worse. It could have been a dog, cat or a deer!

Shade17 · 26/06/2021 20:37

You did an emergency stop on a slip road for a pigeon? Presumably you were travelling at a reasonable speed? You absolutely do not brake or swerve for small animals, this could cause a serious accident. If you did this on a driving test you would fail.

Chickpeasorchips · 26/06/2021 20:38

I understand this Flowers I ran over a squirrel a couple of months ago as it literally ran in front of my car and I felt awful.

KitKat1985 · 26/06/2021 20:40

I sympathise. I ran over a rabbit once and I felt awful. Sad

Pigeonorcoot · 26/06/2021 20:42

I don't blame you for being upset but you did the right thing - far better a squashed pigeon than swerve and put other humans at risk. And as pp says - it was likely sick or injured anyway if it didn't move. Would wine help? Or distraction? Or donate £10 to a bird charity if it will make you feel better?

TheVolturi · 26/06/2021 20:43

The bloody bees do this with me when I'm cutting the grass. I have to keep stopping and budging them out of the way, takes me ages!

Branleuse · 26/06/2021 20:43

oh you poor thing. I had this once. Was driving along and there was some roadkill already in the road and a pigeon swooped to check it out and i didnt have time to stop. I swear the poor thing popped. I felt so sad after

SchrodingersImmigrant · 26/06/2021 20:46

@mytrueaccount

If the pigeon didn't fly away from car (no need for sound; they have eyes) it was already ill
Exactly
EleanorOlephantisjustfine · 26/06/2021 20:52

Not nice for you, but just be glad you didn’t swerve and cause an accident. As horrible as you feel, you did the right thing.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 26/06/2021 20:53

I once watched a pigeon run over by a London bus in Lewisham. It was 23 years ago and I still remember it in SLO-mo

But it was just a thing that happens. ESP to pigeons pecking about in a London gutter.

Just a thing that happens

vegas888 · 26/06/2021 20:57

I think it shows you’re a kind and caring person. As the pigeon didn’t move maybe it had already been hit/stunned by another car so maybe you did it a favour and put it out of its misery. 💐💐

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 26/06/2021 21:00

I've hit a half grownup (teenage? Half chick?!) seagull before.
I've hit a small bird before.
I've his a squirrel before.

I always feel awful for a few hours and then I'm ok.
You can't be swerving all over the joint and when I hit them I was on dual carriageway so they were whacked before I even knew they were there.

It's horrible. I work in the sticks and all the road kill at the moment is baby rabbits, baby foxes, baby badgers.
Horrible 😭

Drivingmeupthewall · 26/06/2021 21:04

I cry and cry whenever I’ve hit a bird. Two times. You’re not unreasonable. You’re kind hearted. I also get upset by the awful road kill on the side of the roads. Sad

Undersnatch · 26/06/2021 21:07

It’s definitely not unreasonable to feel upset by this, I’m surprised anyone would say it was, even if it wouldn’t upset them. Sorry OP, sounds a horrible thing to happen and you tried to save it.

annacondom · 26/06/2021 21:10

I would feel the same as you, OP. Don't beat yourself up.

ButItRingsAndIRise · 26/06/2021 21:10

It is always awful if you hit something. I feel bad if my wheels go over something that’s already squashed! Sad

I once went over a deer that someone else had hit -impossible to swerve and to slam on would have caused an accident-DH still moans about the bits he had to remove off the underneath of the car -like that’s the important bit.

DotsandCo · 26/06/2021 21:12

It's horrible isn't it? 😢

I've hit a few birds...once a mummy duck as she crossed the road right in front of me with her babies behind her. I couldn't stop, as it was a very busy dual carriageway and there were cars behind me. I was really traumatised by that...couldn't stop thinking about the orphaned babies 😢. I also hit a deer in Norfolk...three of them leapt out onto the road from the woods at the side. I hit one and the car that was overtaking me hit another! I felt sick at the thud with that one...and it damaged my car!!

💐 for you xx

Moonface123 · 26/06/2021 21:16

Shows you have deep empathy, l would be upset too but it was sadly unavoidable. You didn't intent to ki!l it.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 26/06/2021 21:17

YANBU to feel the way you do. I remember a bird dive bombing my car just as another was coming the other way and it was the same; a cloud of feathers.

If the pigeon didn't respond to your car I would suggest it was flawed in some way and wouldn't have been long for the world anyway.

I hope you can get over it soon; these things happen.

Blooter · 26/06/2021 21:19

My friend died because he swerved to avoid a pheasant in the road. He was only mid 20s.

Myusername33 · 26/06/2021 21:23

I felt guilty because I ran over a snail with the lawnmower so I can understand feeling bad about the pigeon! but as someone else already said if it was sitting on the road not making any effort to move away it was possibly sick or had already been hit by a car so you might have put it out of it’s misery.

Duchess379 · 26/06/2021 21:24

I hit a crow at 70mph on the A3. Feathers everywhere. And it damaged my grill...