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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so traumatised?

60 replies

TwinkleToeMatilda · 26/06/2021 20:28

So earlier today was driving home. Up the slip road I went and there was a pigeon slap bang in middle of my lane. I seriously thought it would move but it didn’t budge. I slammed on but I just knew there was no way that I would have managed to stop in time not to hit it... unless I swerved into the the grass verge so I over it I went. I thought there could be a chance it would be ok and not get hurt because the poor thing was directly underneath my car so not like I would of got it with my tyres but as I looked into my rear view mirror there was feathers flying EVERYWHERE. I could see it tumbling about to the side afterwards which I seriously hope was due to the gust of wind from my vehicle and not because it was half alive. But I just couldn’t believe I hit it. I cried and felt so sick. Told my partner and he thought it wasn’t not a big deal at all and that you kill thousands of flies etc when driving. I have never hit anything before and I just keep having flashbacks of seeing the feathers everywhere. I was close to going back to check to see if it was dead or not but due to where it happened there would be no safe place for me to pull over.

Before anyone says I know there’s worse that’s going on in the world and there loads of road kill on the roads but I seriously feel AWFUL.

AIBU or do I just get over it?

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2016 · 26/06/2021 21:28

YANBU to feel sad. It is sad, but simply unfortunate Flowers

I remember feeling exactly the same when I hit and killed a pigeon Sad I was only 18 and hadn't been driving long. Daft as it sounds, I was quite shaken by it but I knew I couldn't have braked/swerved without causing an accident.

ChampionOfTheSun · 26/06/2021 21:28

I hit a pheasant a few weeks back and yes I felt absolutely horrible but if I'd swerved to not hit it there would have been an accident so I had no choice. Flowers

User574664 · 26/06/2021 21:28

you shouldn’t brake on a slip road !! Pigeons are vermin tbh wouldn’t cry over that. I did kill a white owl once and that was horrible and hit a pheasant and got it stuck under my bonnet 😩

30degreesandmeltinghere · 26/06/2021 21:30

My dd hit a rabbit one Xmas morning en route to our house. She had a rubbish day. Felt awful.

swapsicles · 26/06/2021 21:30

Unfortunately these things do happen and in many cases its better to run them over (obviously hoping they'll move at the last second) than causing a bigger accident and killing yourself or a fellow human by slaming on the brakes or swerving.

Looubylou · 26/06/2021 21:30

You sound like a lovely person OP💐

Shitfuckcommaetc · 26/06/2021 21:34

Please, please do not slams your brakes on like that in a slip road again! You're bloody lucky no one was behind you!!!

Adifferentstory2 · 26/06/2021 21:36

Really sorry and totally understand. I hit a fox a few years ago and was absolutely gutted (it’s fault not mine but that didn’t make it better).

Sadly, you can do all you can to drive safely but sometimes accidents happen. My mums best friends was killed when their mutual friend (who was driving) swerved to avoid a cat. Always best not to stop / swerve.

almay8830 · 26/06/2021 21:45

A few months ago I hit and killed a deer! I'm from London originally and have moved to the deep countryside. It was night time and came out so quickly I couldn't stop. No one here was bothered as there are apparently too many of them anyway, but I was in fits of tears and said I would have been so upset at even hitting a pigeon! One week later, I hit and killed a cat on a dual carriage way! Another fit of tears that I had to explain when I arrived at work! Sad

godmum56 · 26/06/2021 21:46

Its horrible and I have never got used to it so definitely YANBU. My late big hard as nails husband hated it too.

Nicknacky · 26/06/2021 21:48

Did you even consider the traffic behind you when you slammed the brakes on?

Mummabug18 · 26/06/2021 21:53

@Dillydollydingdong

It's easily done. I hit a bird a couple of weeks ago. It was a medium sized grey bird, delicately stepping out from the side of the road and I thought it would stop, but it didn't. It would have been too dangerous to swerve out of the way. So I had to hit it, sadly. I just thought oh you stupid bird. I was sad but it could have been worse. It could have been a dog, cat or a deer!
Isn't it beautiful to be a human and feel the right to deem one life more important than another? 😡

'It could have been worse. It could have been a dog, cat or a deer!" lives that only a vet, owner or RSPCA can decide to end, right? 🤔🤬

Youreacockarentyou · 26/06/2021 21:54

Everyone giving OP a hard time for stopping - give her a break. It’s quite instinctual to stop when you’re about to hit something, what ever it is! & I’m sure she had the forethought to make sure there was no one directly behind her before hand.

Don’t beat yourself up OP, it is horrible! But it was an unfortunate accident Flowers

covidcloser · 26/06/2021 21:56

I don't really think the description was necessary OP. 'I hit a pigeon' would have sufficed Sad

NCforweddingQ · 26/06/2021 22:00

@Shade17

You did an emergency stop on a slip road for a pigeon? Presumably you were travelling at a reasonable speed? You absolutely do not brake or swerve for small animals, this could cause a serious accident. If you did this on a driving test you would fail.
So hard to do this though I think. It's instinct to avoid so you really have to go against that instinct.

Sympathies OP Thanks

Original poster
TwinkleToeMatilda · 26/06/2021 22:04

Thank you for the people being so kind with their responses I really appreciate it.

To the others who have only picked out the part where I mentioned I slammed on my brakes I can completely understand that this could have caused an accident which would could have been far worse than running over a pigeon, but unfortunately when something like that happens so quickly you can only act on what you are thinking at that moment. And in that moment I wanted to do everything I could to avoid running over the pigeon. I clearly knew that swerving was not an option because I didn’t do it!

OP posts:
Mummabug18 · 26/06/2021 22:11

@almay8830

A few months ago I hit and killed a deer! I'm from London originally and have moved to the deep countryside. It was night time and came out so quickly I couldn't stop. No one here was bothered as there are apparently too many of them anyway, but I was in fits of tears and said I would have been so upset at even hitting a pigeon! One week later, I hit and killed a cat on a dual carriage way! Another fit of tears that I had to explain when I arrived at work! Sad
I'm so sorry for you and anyone else that goes through this with any normal emotion and heart. Big hugs and I hope it's not something you have to go through again x
SchrodingersImmigrant · 26/06/2021 22:19

@almay8830

A few months ago I hit and killed a deer! I'm from London originally and have moved to the deep countryside. It was night time and came out so quickly I couldn't stop. No one here was bothered as there are apparently too many of them anyway, but I was in fits of tears and said I would have been so upset at even hitting a pigeon! One week later, I hit and killed a cat on a dual carriage way! Another fit of tears that I had to explain when I arrived at work! Sad
You were very lucky not to be hurt. Hitting deer can be a proper collision with lots of damage and injuries
almay8830 · 26/06/2021 22:22

Shrodingersimmigrant... absolutely! Especially as I had my four-month-old baby in the back! Horrible experience!

m00rfarm · 26/06/2021 22:34

i ran over a squirrel when I was 18 (I am now 58) and I can still remember looking in the rear view mirror and seeing its squashed head with its body flopping from side to side.

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 26/06/2021 23:27

It’s horrible but it happens. You should never emergency stop/swerve for animals on the road, it’s very dangerous. I know someone who died that way.

I hit a fox on the motorway last year. Lorries either side of me, no time to react. It was terrifying. I had to drive on through gritted teeth and pull off at the next junction to sob.

StarlingsDarlings · 26/06/2021 23:56

I’m really sorry OP. You did what you could but this would really trouble me too. I had a similarly horrible situation this weekend when my dog caught a pigeon. I told her to drop it straight away but it already had puncture wounds and quickly died. Has really upset me.

Anythingelseintheboxpandora · 27/06/2021 00:06

I hit a wood pigeon on my way to my elective c section. It sounded like a balloon popping. Feathers everywhere. I didn’t even see it I just rounded a corner and feathers…

I was upset. I felt like it was terrible karma on a very important day.

Thelnebriati · 27/06/2021 00:06

Its completely normal to feel awful after you kill something, but you have to remind yourself how much worse you would feel if you caused an accident by braking or swerving.

TimeForTeaAndG · 27/06/2021 00:16

Pigeons are easily the most stupid of all the birds. I swear they don't realise they can fly half the time. I've yet to hit anything when driving but I know I will be very upset if I do.

If you have time, toot your horn and that should hopefully get them to shift. I've done it to a rabbit, a deer, several pigeons and a few crows (though they are usually fairly good at shifting out the way by themselves).