Is this bad/flaky?

[Ohdear7777]

I have anxiety which has got worse over lockdown so can’t really tell. But I do think this is bad and feel guilty Over it!

I’m in a new role and have been in it for about five months. Have gone into office since we’ve been able to but occasionally running late or whatever (eg anxiety has popped up) or just had an early morning meeting booked in. Sometimes I’ll have arranged with a colleague of my level or slightly more senior to coord a day in the office and then will message early that day saying that I’m going to come in at lunch or that I’m not feeling great that day so will WFH. I do joke with them that WFH has spoilt me and I know I’ve been a bit unreliable with making plans to come in. It hasn’t actually affected our planned meeting or anything, it’s more of a social thing. But now I’m nervous I’m seen as flaky or non dependable because of it?

Can I change this reputation if this is how people see me? And if so how - just by sticking religiously to the days I have planned and being in early to reduce the anxiety? Sorry for this really basic Q, thoughts are swirling around my head right now and I just want to “get it right” if that makes sense and get a reputation for the “right things”!

Yes it's flaky, and I'm shocked at how you play it as jokey, I'm surprised you're still there.

I have had diagnosed anxiety for years, probably more of my life than not now. I tell you this as it is at times debilitating, but there are ways to manage it and you need to find what works for you. There's only so long you can blame anxiety for this until management question why you aren't seeking help.

If you were being flaky like that on me i would be really angry.

What treatment and self help measures are you having for your anxiety?
Has your behaviour been flagged as a concern formally or informally?
Do you have an Occ Health dept?

In all likelihood you are infuriating your work colleagues and don't even seem to realise it.
You are definitely flakey and need to turn it around ASAP.
I wouldn't accept this from one of my Team. It's not fair on others.
Anxiety is no excuse. Break things down into manageable chunks and work through them.
It's being an adult.

yikes. is this a joke?

Hello all, op again! Thanks for the comments! I feel like I hugely misrepresented myself in my opening post hence why I’m late back to the thread. I have had a look back through comms and essentially I stuck to plans 95% of the time. The 5% I didn’t stick to were two occasions: colleague of my level messaged saying they were coming into the office a couple of days in a row and they’d “see me if I was there” - subtext, these were their plans and they would still come in whether or not I planned to. I ended up not going in on the days but apologised profusely (as had agreed the night they messaged to go in). We are not working together and as I say it was purely a social thing...

Secondly my office is casual and relaxed from a wfh or office persective (many people haven’t been in yet) albeit I wouldn’t ever break plans with someone senior or even my level who I had actually agreed to meet with in person! I’m not that unprofessional.

Further, any client meetings or similar (or f2f meetings with any colleagues) i have kept and been early for - other colleagues have actually cancelled on me, which is fine and not a big deal.

Anyway sorry for dripfeed and inadvertent exaggeration in my OP. Clearly I am nervous about being regarded to be flakey or whatever (driven by the anxiety I assume which yes is diagnosed and yes I’m working through) so will take the helpful tips provided and use them, so thanks for those!!

Those with arsey comments about how they would “invite me in for a chat if I was in their team” - I’m mid mgmt so not a little workplace newbie!! But thanks all the same x

🤣🤣🤣
I don't like your responses but it's ok because I hugely misrepresented the situation.
Why would anyone of even average intelligence do that?

@GreyhoundG1rl Not a clue hun! I must be well below average! I look at your superior intelligence and can only dream ☺️

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes!
OP: You don’t understaaaaaaaand. Here’s a completely different story.

That wasn’t a drip feed, that was a rewrite … because you don’t like the answers? 🙄

@OffRampHilton

OP: AIBU? Everyone: Yes! OP: You don’t understaaaaaaaand. Here’s a completely different story.

😂😂😂 Yes!!

Honestly OP, what a ridiculous thing to do. If you're going to post, at least stick to the story, instead of changing it entirely when you get told YABU!

What a waste of time this was

Surely if your mid management you’re already aware of what’s acceptable in your workplace? I would hope so anyway, how can you manage others if you don’t know what’s acceptable within the company?

*you’re

Inadvertent exaggeration in my op. 🤦‍♀️
How utterly embarrassing for you, op. I'm cringing for you.

These threads are so pointless.

@Garraty47

These threads are so pointless.

Not entirely pointless as if there is anyone reading who behaves like the OP has not decided she doesn't they will know not to behave like that either.

Yeah you're a dick but you already know this 😁 5 months in and creating threads because you're unsure how you come across?

...awkward!

2 posts 2 different stories, I'm going to guess by the third post you 'changed some details so you can't be identified because this is a one time case that everyone who uses mumsnet may potentionally know from your sproadic posting and you don't want to be outed' ?

In your first post you said that you do this sometimes. Two times is not sometimes. Plus if it was only these two occasions, which you are now completely downplaying, why even bother starting a thread about it

As others have said rewriting the story is a total kick in the teeth for people who have taken time out to give you thought out advice

Wouldn’t be surprised if the OP gets this pulled now for “privacy concerns” 🙄

@GreyhoundG1rl id love to see how you react when something actually utterly embarrassing happens 😂 You’re cringing at a stranger on the Internet? In the nicest possible way: get a life hun

You poor thing...

[quote Ohdear7777]**@GreyhoundG1rl* id love to see how you react when something actually* utterly embarrassing happens 😂 You’re cringing at a stranger on the Internet? In the nicest possible way: get a life hun[/quote]
You really have no place to tell anyone else to get a life.

You certainly aren't coming across well.

OP do you have an diagnosed anxiety disorder? Or you get anxious? Everyone gets anxious, that is a normal emotional response to situations that we might be fearful of, and you can learn to manage it better as yes if you are going in late or not at all, on scheduled dates, in a new role, this may be affecting you reputationally.