How much does your job play on your mind?

[Changnsme53ew]

NC for this as I don’t want to get too identifiable

Just as title says really, even when not at work I constantly think of work. I keep checking my emails and when I do get an email I get a sinking feeling and have to read it whilst dreading what it will say.

I don’t remember feeling like this in my previous places of work. Not sure if it’s a mixture of having kids and working part time (previous to kids I was full time in a different place), not sure if it’s just anxiety or if it’s actual normal or maybe just the workplace I’m in. Most people I work with look stressed out all the time so I don’t think it’s just me.

I work in a secondary school btw. I went to speak to headteacher today as things I need to do job not given to me so needed his help getting things moving. He asked me if I had other interests outside of work and what I do to relax! That got me thinking maybe I am letting work play on my mind too much. I feel a bit embarrassed by his comment for some reason like it was negative.

Not sure what I’m looking for by posting this, I just feel like I need an outside opinion on this. I feel really stressed out all the time. Anyone else feel like this about their job?

I can definitely relate to this. I’m in a senior role for an INGO and my job takes up so much of my headspace, plus I have to be reachable out of hours in case the shit hits the fan. I have young children also and am actually looking at changing jobs after this mat leave (pregnant with DC3) for something less all-consuming!

I completely accept that part of this is my personality - I’m a massive girly swot, try-hard type so have a tendency to chuck myself into whatever I’m doing and find it hard to switch off, which has given me a great career so far but has repercussions for my home life. I can also relate to what you’re saying about not being present - it’s not the physical presence so much as the Sunday nights when I should be focusing on my kids instead of worrying about work on Monday.

I got really sick last year with COVID and cliche as it sounds have had a big reappraisal about my life and how I want to be living and needing to slow down a bit, and my job was a big part of this.

Another former teacher here. The former part of the title is because the job consumed my whole life. Thirty years of having a job that is almost always on your mind is exceptionally draining.

If I wasn't in work, I was planning for work or marking. If I wasn't physically doing work I was thinking about it. I loved being in the classroom (well most of the time - behaviour became an issue in the last couple of years with a handful of kids). What became the things that kept me awake at night were the petty micro management tasks and the constant pressure to do more, produce more, on less time and with fewer resources.

It becomes your normal though. Now that I don't teach I can see how utterly ridiculous the demands of the job were. It really is not ok for your job to take over your life. I feel like I have been freed from all of that - and it feels amazing.

I think about it a fair amount but not usually anxiously. I lead quite a large multi agency team and work in criminal justice with high risk sexual and violent offenders. If we get something wrong people die. The most vulnerable victims play on my mind, when we've done everything we can to safeguard/our appropriate controls in place but I know ongoing contact is likely. We also have cases commit suicide and then the investigation side of things when we have all the Intel but there's not enough evidence to prosecute, those really stay with you because you know the behaviour will continue until something significant happens, you hear something in the radio and straight away think oh God is that X. It's the nature of the work though and as still as it sounds it doesn't keep me up at night, I'm not constantly checking emails outside of work etc, my mind needs to be very alert and it wouldn't be if I was doing those things.

I've worked in social care, probation, police and victim work and there's an element of this in all of those areas not just for me.

I was dreaming about how to fix my broken pensions report last night 😳

My old job 24/7. But we had a work WhatsApp that people would post in regularly including on days off, so it was really hard to detach. I turned off all the notifications etc but I'm someone who can't bear an unread message so even knowing it was there piling up was too much. The best bit about leaving was deleting that group...
Current job stops when I shut the door in terms of work - but the office politics keeps me awake at night. It's a hard one to shift because normally I'd say set boundaries regarding when I look at material etc but office politics is more...invasive. I just spend time worrying about it.

I have a busy/stressful/high resonsibility type job and sometimes struggle to switch off.

I manage this by doing what I need to do during the week, sometimes work evenings when the kids are in bed etc. Then on Friday when I finish I turn my work phone off (my boss has my personal number for emergencies) and I really focus on being present over the weekend.

After the kids are in bed on Sunday I check my emails and my diary and plan for the week.

It's not a perfect system but I find that it helps. . .

Yes. Always have, years and years of thinking about work at home all the time.

I do now.
But recently I found one of my old “essential “ list of jobs from a month or so ago.

Jeez it just struck me, I’ve completely forgotten about all that shit on that list. Seemed vital at that time but a month on, all jobs done & ticked, but now not important at all.

Nowadays I think of solutions to problems which I enjoy.

Another teacher and constantly. I'm exhausted

College tutor - think about my job way too much. I’m part time and I have lots of outside interests but the job is all consuming.

Yes…I’m a GP and if I’m not stressing about missing something at work or worrying about how to fit everything in, I’m at home worrying about how shit everyone thinks we are as a profession, especially when the press and a large chunk of Joe public seem to have it in for the profession (rather than aiming their vitriol at the government)

Sorry to hear that @Mummydoctor. I recognise that as well, as a teacher. I think the government have done an amazing job at making out we're all doing a rubbish job when we are trying our best following ever changing guidance, tons of extra work and no extra money. It takes the spotlight off their failures by transferring onto everyone else.

Try and switch off over the weekend.

I used to have this a lot, not going to out what my job was then. Physical separation when I started a job an hour away helped. One of the concerns I had about wfh was that this would resume, and with an amount of personal discipline about start and finish times have managed to avoid this.

Quite a bit.

Most of my waking hours and some of the sleeping ones.
But in an institution with 1000 staff, I'm part of the senior management team and we are navigating difficult times - and work is a significant part of my life. DH is the same.

When I was a middle manager on a middle grade, it got 45 hours pw tops and I parked it.

All the time. It’s one of those jobs with no defined hours, so switching off is sometimes difficult.