How much does your job play on your mind?

[Changnsme53ew]

NC for this as I don’t want to get too identifiable

Just as title says really, even when not at work I constantly think of work. I keep checking my emails and when I do get an email I get a sinking feeling and have to read it whilst dreading what it will say.

I don’t remember feeling like this in my previous places of work. Not sure if it’s a mixture of having kids and working part time (previous to kids I was full time in a different place), not sure if it’s just anxiety or if it’s actual normal or maybe just the workplace I’m in. Most people I work with look stressed out all the time so I don’t think it’s just me.

I work in a secondary school btw. I went to speak to headteacher today as things I need to do job not given to me so needed his help getting things moving. He asked me if I had other interests outside of work and what I do to relax! That got me thinking maybe I am letting work play on my mind too much. I feel a bit embarrassed by his comment for some reason like it was negative.

Not sure what I’m looking for by posting this, I just feel like I need an outside opinion on this. I feel really stressed out all the time. Anyone else feel like this about their job?

@Smartiepants79 SLT don’t really come and have a conversation with us it’s all mainly emails. Yes definitely planning is in my mind but I don’t dread that I dread opening emails and trying to really understand all the details.

No not particularly now. I'm a healthcare practitioner and have moved from the NHS to the private sector.
It's a lot less stressful and I've specialised, so am doing less as I'm focused on one area only.

@Changnsme53ew we are not allowed to send emails that need urgent responses past 4:30 in my workplace. If it is THAT urgent we can make a phone call...however what cannot wait until 8:00 Monday morning? If there's nothing that can be done over the weekend about it then there's no point in knowing iyswim. We can only contact ppl even it needs immediate action and we have to contact the correct person etc etc.
If someone sends me an email past 3.30 on a Friday then I don't see it until Monday morning at 8.00. If I'm on annual leave I have an out of office and they can send it on to someone else if needs be.

@Walkashame sorry to hear that. How are things now?

What led to you feeling like that?

@Walkashame sorry I meant how are u feeling now? I know you’ve resigned so I mean hope things okay for you mental health wise now

I think about it but not obsessively, and don’t check my phone. I tend to have some of my best ideas when I’m away from work, although I do also find myself worrying about whether I could have have handled something better.

Had I read the email Saturday/Sunday/ Monday I would have known. It was sent 5:45pm on Friday.

In my opinion @Changnsme53ew that is very bad form to notify you at 5:45 on a fucking Friday. I would have let rip about that one. That wouldn't be acceptable at my workplace!

I'm not a teacher, or a health care professional. I do a back office job (in the public sector) and no one will die if I do it wrong.

I have not slept a full night through for months - probably a year. I earn mid 50s, am highly qualified, have 20 years experience, and can sort all sorts of shit out using my innate intelligence and problem solving abilities. My non-work responsibilities are having fun while trying not to get enormously fat.

As may be apparent, I have no obvious self-esteem issues. I still like awake stressing in the middle of the night, because somewhere along the line, in the last twenty years, I've lost sight of the fact that I am more important than my job. I am determined to change that, but really struggling to figure out how.

I too am a teacher and only switch off during the first week s of holidays. During term time there isn't time to do much else even at weekends. I've also got 3 teen dcs.

Thank you everyone for making me feel slightly “normal”. @BustPipes sorry to hear that. You are worth more than your job! I need to listen to my own advice.

Everyone else who is feeling like me I think we might also be thinking our jobs define us. I’m going to be more positive Monday morning and think what the worst that can happen.

Thanks for asking, I feel relieved if a bit unsure what the future holds as I don't think I can face staying in schools. What contributed to it was a headteacher who would fire emails out at 9pm and then call if he didn't get a quick enough response.

OP you should check out the ‘life after teaching’ Facebook group if not seen already, it’s very supportive.

I used to think about work a lot outside working hours.

Ten years of being freelance and having a number of different clients put paid to that. I charged by the hour, and I wasn't getting paid for thinking about work when I wasn't there so I trained myself to not think about it. Even driving to and from jobs I'd force myself to think about anything and everything else.

Now I'm an employee again, I can switch off completely the minute I walk out the door. I've just had a week off from a fairly full-on finance role, and I can honestly say I didn't spend a single second of that week thinking about work.

You have to learn to properly switch off and compartmentalise your brain into 'work' mode and 'you' mode and never the twain shall meet.

I work in HE and some management responsibilities. Yes. In shower, sometimes in my dreams or 3am, whilst out jogging or even when talking with my children. It's quite a complex job though. I'm working on better boundaries.

Social worker - often on my mind but I am getting better at turning phone and computer off on my non working days....the work will still be there Monday morning and I remind myself I am not an out of ours emergency service...even when crisis after crisis, it can feel I should be.

Changnsme53ew If I needed something for next year, I'd be chasing it now. I'm very much a forward planning person and I can't leave things til last minute.

Our HT talks the talk about telling us not to answer or check emails outside of working days and hours, but then phones the secretary or the pt Deputy on their days off and will send emails asking for things like that on a Sun evening.

If you don't have things that you need, or if arrangements are being made very last minute for outside visitors after school finishes on the Friday it smacks of poor planning on someone elses' behalf to me.

Exact same but in the corporate world. It's my day off today and I've been crying tonight because I can see how much has come in. It's relentless and for an organisation that talks about mental health a lot no one cares. I desperately want to get out but not having any luck.

Primary school teacher. Constantly. I think about work non stop and it’s having an impact on my children. I need to take emails off my phone and learn when to stop but I’m getting worse.

Fucking constant. Don't see it ever changing. It's exhausting. Nurse manager.

Be nice to your nurse boss please. It's hard.

I knew you were a teacher by your dirst paragaph.

You are notmal for a teacher. I also thought of work 90% of the time when a teacher.

Now I have left teaching and it’s a revelation.

Also though- change school, sounds like you have a controlling headteacher.

Constantly, but I'm in performing arts so it's more a lifestyle or an identity, than a job.

Still, there are times I actually want to take a break mentally and forget who I am for a couple of hours, and it's impossible. I'll put Netflix on and start mentally analysing the chord patterns in the soundtrack or something like that.

I have two weeks off starting on Wednesday and I know I will be still doing some mental practice even unconsciously, I will still obsess over my next couple of projects before going to bed, I will still initiate conversations with colleagues about things we don't really need to talk about, but things that keep me connected with my profession. It's a strange way of living, that's for sure.

Don't even get me started on the emails, I'm freelance so even on holiday they need to be checked every couple of hours, and replies sent within 24h. I could do without that side of the job.

The more I’m reflecting on this I’m beginning to think maybe I’m controlling and fixated on getting things sorted too much. No my headteacher is very chilled out and not controlling in any way. I’m not sure if Traching actually makes you into this type of person. I am struggling with young kids if my own abs going this job. I usually plan/mark for 3.5 hours once they in bed. Even on days off. Saturdays I f do not do anything but spend around 5 hours Sunday. I feel knackered

*teaching

@Firsttimebuyer1 what are u doing now? I have no idea what to do if I ever leave. This is all I’ve done so far

Too much. It is not so bad at the moment, but I go through difficult periods with different projects