Soft play. Lack of supervision

[mysterytoddler]

I take my 19 month old DD to soft play most weeks since they’ve reopened. I’m 7 months pregnant with DC2.

I’m so sick of parents not supervising their kids properly. Today was a classic. Another mum with 2 boys, at a guess I’d say that the oldest was 7, youngest 3. Both really boisterous kids. The mum spent most of the time sat at her table on her phone. She checked on them now and again but mostly left them to it. At one point she even took the toddler to the toilet and left the older one completely unsupervised.
I took DD to the large bit of the soft play that’s recommended for older ones which is my own doing but DD is really headstrong and finds the baby bit really boring now. But they were running all over the place and she got knocked over twice.

I also don’t understand why the 7 year old wasn’t at school. Part of the reason we go on weekdays is because it’s quieter and usually full of toddlers. I wouldn’t go on weekends cos I accept that there will be school age kids there.

I’m just sick of it. I manage to clamber all over the equipment and supervise my toddler despite being heavily pregnant. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for others to do the same

The whole point and joy of soft play is that you can sit down and let the kids rock on without supervision

I’m sorry yours was knocked down. That isn’t right, but leaving a 7 year old whilst taking a 3 year old to the toilet is fine.

So is sitting on her phone whilst they played

Scottish Holidays started yesterday/today so might be someone on holiday. Age 7 is MORE than old enough to be left alone for a few minutes while a parent takes a sibling to the toilet. My son started walking up the road from school at 7

I find this one of the hardest parts of parenting! Playground politics is something I dread.

I'm very strong minded but hate confrontation (especially in front of kids) and as all parents we are protective over our children, especially when you see them being pushed about etc.

I tend to take my children away from the 'issue' and explain to them why we've moved away.

Sadly I'm aware this is something that will go on for many years to come! Worst case scenario is getting inno to a slanging match with another parent - even though I feel like it sometimes! I have to try really hard to bite my tongue.

You took a toddler into the section aimed at older children, soft play is divided into different sections for a reasons, to stop the big ones unintentionally hurting the smaller ones. Im sure you would be the first to complain if the older children had come into the toddler section...

Once they’re about 4 they really don’t need supervision at soft play! 7 year olds are perfectly fine alone with a parent in the toilet in a locked building that’s mostly padded.

Right now you have a wobbly toddler and you hate the big kids who are so rough and have no manners, but one day you will be mum on her phone who’s paid the big bucks for soft play just so she can sit and have a coffee and zone out for a bit, and you won’t give a damn about the tutty mums of toddlers (who should be supervised anyway!)

Leaving a a 8 year old in soft play while you take 3 year old to the toilet is perfectly fine.
Not closely supervising a 3 and 7 year old at soft play is fine, thats part of the reason most parents take them as its a safe space for them to play unsupervised ish.
hThere are many reasons a 7 year old may not be in school

I don't think you understand 1) how soft play works and 2) how parenting a 7 year old differs from parenting a toddler.

Yabu...soft play is where people take kids to burn off energy. If the older kids go into the baby/toddler area then that should be dealt with by the parent. In the rest of it though you need to accept boisterous kids will be running around. I wouldn't supervise a seven year old beyond a quick glance every so often.

Inset day here for children.

You are still meant to supervise your kids at soft play! 7 year olds should know how to behave but under 4s should be fully supervised, they are still in the snatching/ hitting phase then.
However you shouldn't really be taking your under 2 to an area with older kids and you shouldn't really be moaning that a 7 year old is left alone for 2 minutes in a secure indoor space

You have to accept that when you take a little one into the big area there will be more rough and tumble and you have to protect them from that. If you’re taking your 1yo on the big frame that’s on you and not the parent of the older children. And no I certainly wouldn’t be supervising a 7yo in softplay.

You took your toddler into an area that was not age appropriate.

As a mum of 2 small children, part of softplay is to let them run wild without u constantly needing to hold their hand.

I also wouldn't be so judgemental of other parents and what they do. People may judge you for moaning about your daughter being knocked over twice in an area of the soft play she wasn't supposed to be in.

With that said I can understand that you find it frustrating, a lot of places to let kids run around can be like that but it's part and parcel of it.

The soft plays are not open where I live yet, but I cant wait until they are.

Sorry OP but YABU. I have a 19mo and a 3.5yo and I'd be letting the 3yo run off free in the soft play. He doesn't need my full attention but I'd definitely check on him every so often. As for leaving the 7yo whilst the 3yo wees... that is a total non issue.

You took your toddler to a big kids soft play, what did you expect?!

That mum on her phone may well have been trying to work with no childcare.

When you have a toddler, big kids are scary and unruly. When you have school aged children, it's the parents taking toddlers into the big section thats annoying g!

YABU - incredibly so - and I’m there as a mother of a 19 month old who can’t be contained in the baby section either. I accept it’s my responsibility to chase him round because he could hurt himself or be hurt by someone else for now - but I cannot wait for that to not be the case when he gets to about 4 and I can let him run wild in a safe environment

Oh dear OP I think you are about to get piled on... This is definitely one of those situations where your perspective shifts massively as your children get older... and one with polarised opinions!
At 19months you are in that awkward stage of needing to be there and hands on if there are bigger kids about. But remember they need to be kids jump about and use the play equipment too. Perhaps it might be better given that you’ll have a newborn soon to get your older one used to staying in areas where you don’t need to be with her all the time? Or to find the soft play best suited to preschoolers? We had a smallish one near us that didn’t really hold much attraction for the over 5/6ish

YABU and I say that as a mother to a 19 month old with no older ones.

She is perfectly reasonable to leave her 7 & 3 year old to play unsupervised in that environment and given that you'd taken your toddler into an area designed for older kids it's your responsibility to ensure it's a safe and suitable environment and if it's not you'll have to just endure the tantrum and limit them to the age appropriate area.

YABU. In the older kids section the whole point is they don’t need supervising unless too young to really be in there. My almost 4 year old has started going in alone whilst I sit/stand and watch. I supervise my 1 year old obviously, but would not be supervising a 7 year old constantly, just occasionally checking.

Yeah, sorry. 19mo is in prime 'constant supervision' territory and its hard work and boring and being pregnant on top of that must be pretty rubbish, so you have my sympathy. But older children - in the older children's section of soft play - only need the occasional glance, that's the point of soft play at that age.

And yes, I'd absolutely leave a 7yo unsupervised in that situation to take younger child to toilet.

I take my 2.5yo to soft play, he likes to go in the area for older kids so I go in and supervise him to keep him safe and also to make sure he is not pushing other children.

I wouldn’t expect a 7yo to be supervised though, they’re more than old enough to keep themselves safe!

One of the best things about soft plays is that they’re really great places for kids to do stuff you might not let them do in other places - like wait while you’re in the loo, or go to the toilet themselves, or go and buy themselves a drink etc. You know there’s nobody waiting to kidnap them, and they can’t leave the building, so it’s a really good chance for them to practice those little things safely. And playing out of a sight of an adult is another one of those things, and it’s something f kids rarely get to do now.

OP I've decided that soft play just isn't for me for the reasons you mentioned.

I get stressed with bigger kids tearing around unchecked, but as pps have pointed out- that's the nature of the beast.

YABU. You allowed your young toddler on a frame meant for older DCs. Obviously the 7yo should have been a bit more careful, but ultimately it was down to you to supervise more closely and not put them in that situation. They have an under 3/4/5s (depending on the venue) section precisely so the littlies don't get flattened. I have a 5yo and 7yo, and at that age the whole point is to allow them freedom to play without hovering over them whilst I can catch up with a friend or on work admin. I too have spent many hours crawling around after them in softplay, but thankfully I have now done my time and can now happily sit on my arse whilst they play. In a few years you will ne there too
I wouldn't leave one unattended whilst I take the other to the loo though. I - shock horror! - send them off to use it alone, as they would in school.

And my DCs have been off school today too: a mid term inset day (we weren't at softplay though!). Others homeschool, so have the freedom to visit softplay whenever they choose.

Imagine if every parent went into the soft play frames with every child, there'd be no room for the children to play.