To get extremely stressed before holidays

[tobeworried]

I only go on holiday once every couple of years and even then it’s usually for a week at most and within the UK. But even so, I get so stressed in the run-up to the day we go away. I feel like there are a million things to do - leaving the house pristine being one of them so that everything’s in order and it’s nice to come back to on our return.

I always seem to end up with about five loads of laundry to do just before we leave, because I’ve been so busy with work and am disorganised.

Then there’s the food for our self catering holiday, the packing and feeling like I need to be covered for absolutely every eventuality for us and the kids - silly as we’re only staying in the UK, it’s hardly the Sahara desert! I suppose I just want to get to our holiday cottage and totally relax with a glass of wine, not suddenly realise we don’t have something essential and have to send DH off to drive to the supermarket.

I also have this feeling like absolutely everything at home needs to be sorted before I go - such as the paperwork that’s been piling up in the filing cabinet for example. Or the other life admin that needs doing at some point soon (even though it can wait until we get back). I don’t know why I feel like this.

Does anyone else get really stressed in the run-up to holidays, and do any holiday pros have any tips on how to get organised and chill the F out?

My husband does, it's just something he has to go through. Then he's stressed when he gets back too. I just leave him to it. He just sees so much that needs doing that doesn't actually need doing

I used to get stressed like this but I don't any more. Nowadays I'm much more capable of just making a list of what actually needs doing and packing, then sticking to it.

The main difference was that I started to realise how unhappy I was making everyone around me, and how unfair that was on them.

Also some Prozac really helped.

Yip, I do too. My mum did too... every holiday she would take a hissy fit the day we were leaving and tell us all to go without her. In fairness she could have done with a break without us all

It’s also just the pressure of really wanting everything to go well and everyone to have the “best” time I think. Plus being prepared for all eventualities.

Get a supermarket delivery to your holiday cottage on arrival day. Then you can forget about packing any food and drink.
I don't particularly like UK holidays or self-catering but needs must this year.
I have a delivery booked next week for 5pm on arrival day, wine, snacks, breakfasts etc.
Otherwise yes, I get stressed, worry something will go wrong, someone will be ill . At least in the UK there is the NHS.

I don’t know why I feel that I have to have my whole life in perfect order before I go away!

I used to be like that.

Setraline sorted me out.

Yep. started taking kids abroad the two years before the pandemic and wow my anxiety was through the roof. I ruined the holiday for myself but managed to hide how I was feeling from the kids. The only thing they really saw was my nervous breakdown on the way to the airport. I had convinced myself i hadn't changed the car insurance over as it was due for renewal and I had cancelled the previous one and I was hysterical in the car. Anyway got through to them and I had changed it over.
I do a fair few uk holidays and I feel anxiety in terms of will the kids enjoy themselves but nothing like the going abroad feeling I get.
I think it's because I am left to sort everything out. Men (not all men) don't have the same responsibilities as us and all the things we need to think about. my partner has his bags to pack and he's done. I have the kids, myself, paperwork, passports, keeping the house tidy, making sure everyone has everything and everything turns into a whirlwind.

Setraline sorted me out.

I have been considering giving my GP a call….

My mum was like this and it filtered down to me. It's horrible, and more about all the things that could go wrong and leads to a really unpleasant time for everyone around. My DP has shown me there is another way! There is v little that can't be fixed - so what if dh has to pop to the shop on arrival? Its just not worth getting wound up about. Holidays should be exciting and fun, not the source of a stomach ulcer!

Yep this is completely me. Everything you have described especially paperwork.

Its ridiculous and I hate getting so worked up, dp normally moans about how laid back I am but when it comes to Holidays its like someone has switched a switch.

Teenage dc take the piss about the melt downs I have and how many times I scream "I'm cancelling this bloody holiday, you can get on that plane without me"

Always deep clean house before I go away, tidy everything up and take medication for every aliment possible, as well as plasters etc. Most of it never gets used, but I feel happier knowing all corners are covered. Also love coming home to a clean house.

@Hax That's an amazing idea! I get incredibly stressed before a holiday. The food packing is one of the main things that worries me. It takes up so much room in the car and I just seem to take ages and worry I've forgotten something.

I don't look forward to holidays at all sadly. The packing and planning seems to eclipse the enjoyment of being there. I'm hoping I'll feel differently when the kids get older.

This is me too, I get a feeling of dread that builds up the nearer I get to the day of travel, U.K. or abroad it’s just the same. I can’t explain it, I get such anxiety and even upset stomach as well. My DH has got used to it, although getting to the airport way too early used to baffle him! He knows just to go with the flow these days.

Also love coming home to a clean house

It does make coming home so much nicer and more bearable!

Lists and more lists help me plus online shop for when we arrive. My mantra is I can buy it if I've forgotten it!
I always used to clean like mad before we went away. Now I do my normal clean on whatever day it falls on then when I get home the house is ready for its next clean.

I stress particularly if flying as it's not so straightforward if you are late plus you can't just check everything in the bags.

Yup.
I start packing lists about a month before and just add stuff as I go along.
Click and collect shop to local supermarket or delivery.
Packing in the utility starts a week before. It's done 3 days before and everyone does that 1980s thing where they wear old pants.
I get the cleaner in whilst I'm away so I come back to a clean house.
Nothing wrong with order.
We both work full time in full on jobs. We have to be organised. No time for chaos here.

I find UK hols fine pretty much.

@tobeworried

I don’t know why I feel that I have to have my whole life in perfect order before I go away!

I've felt that before. It was a sort of panic about leaving my safe place for somewhere unknown where I felt less in control, and wanting the reassurance that I'd taken care of home and it was going to hold strong and be just as safe waiting when I came home.

You just have to try and find a balance of tidying up so returning home feels calm, dealing with anything that genuinely needs dealt with (like a car insurance renewal), and taking a step away from the rest.

Forgetting stuff isn't ideal, but unless you're going on a very extreme, remote trip it's not that difficult to replace or manage without forgotten things. You're not even leaving the UK so you can get emergency prescriptions from a pharmacy if you'd forgotten something critical like insulin.

Groceries can do same day or next day deliveries - Iceland do some same day and they sell normal essentials like bread, milk etc.

There are so many easy ways to resolve the stuff stressing you out that wouldn't actually be stressful if it happened.

Keeping it in perspective and making a deliberate choice to keep putting it back in perspective when panic was taking over helped. My compromise is to have a checklist and a plan then I don't freak out if something unexpected happens.

What a waste - and coming home to a clean house is nice, but not as nice as being able to enjoy the run up to the holiday.

The solution is just to go on more holidays. Normalise it.

I always get stressed coming back - the washing machine needs to be on a nano second after I step through the front door - drives my DH crazy!

I was ok before I had DD now the idea of going away doesn’t seem worth it. She’s almost two and I’m sure it will get easier as she’s older. We’ve been away twice with her and both times I was a mess

Lists of things you need and things you need to do and give yourself a time table to work through , much easier when it's mapped out

I am the same. And christmas gets me the same as well , everywhere has to be bottomed and organised and then on Christmas morning it is like a bombs gone off anyway . It is madness really!