To get extremely stressed before holidays

[tobeworried]

I only go on holiday once every couple of years and even then it’s usually for a week at most and within the UK. But even so, I get so stressed in the run-up to the day we go away. I feel like there are a million things to do - leaving the house pristine being one of them so that everything’s in order and it’s nice to come back to on our return.

I always seem to end up with about five loads of laundry to do just before we leave, because I’ve been so busy with work and am disorganised.

Then there’s the food for our self catering holiday, the packing and feeling like I need to be covered for absolutely every eventuality for us and the kids - silly as we’re only staying in the UK, it’s hardly the Sahara desert! I suppose I just want to get to our holiday cottage and totally relax with a glass of wine, not suddenly realise we don’t have something essential and have to send DH off to drive to the supermarket.

I also have this feeling like absolutely everything at home needs to be sorted before I go - such as the paperwork that’s been piling up in the filing cabinet for example. Or the other life admin that needs doing at some point soon (even though it can wait until we get back). I don’t know why I feel like this.

Does anyone else get really stressed in the run-up to holidays, and do any holiday pros have any tips on how to get organised and chill the F out?

Sorry to sound dim, but why pack food? I go self catering and never take food. Research where to go for dinner/takeaway if youre arriving late, a quick pit stop into a convenience store en route for wine, coffee, milk etc. It sounds like you're putting more pressure on yourself.

My wife does it before holidays and hosting people in our house.

It makes me not want to do either

@JustMarriedBecca at old pants!
I used to do that when DC were little. Hide all the good clothes.

Another one who gets strung out on way to airport. Eventually it became a family joke and I used to apologise in advance. DH would usually trigger an eruption by mildly asking whether I had remembered to pack something just as we drove up the road.

What is the old pants thing?

We are going away tomorrow and I've been manically trying to finish packing, shower, ear, tidy, fill the car with petrol and then finish some work. I always think I'll be more organised but it's very often more a case of running around until late at night and hoping you've done everything!

Yes - I like to come back to a clean house with fresh beds and school uniforms washed & stuff for packed lunches.

Maybe shop for food when you arrive & just take stuff for breakfast on first day?

I think at the back of my mind if I had an accident at least my house would be tidy 🤷🏻‍♀️

As in if I died while I was away at least nobody would find the house messy..,

I have to have a super clean house before I go away so I do all the washing, change the sheets and wash them as well as do all the packing etc. We usually go away in our caravan so I'll cook something for the first night. I don't always do the food shop now though as my dh always gets bacon and eggs and bbq stuff so I let him get on with it lol. It does pay off though as all I have to di when we get back Is unpack and do the holiday wash.

Sometimes we have a house sitter for the cat too so i do actually need to clean the house but I'd do it abyway!

Yes I am EXACTLY like this 😫

@ADialgaAteMyDog

My mum was like this and it filtered down to me. It's horrible, and more about all the things that could go wrong and leads to a really unpleasant time for everyone around. My DP has shown me there is another way! There is v little that can't be fixed - so what if dh has to pop to the shop on arrival? Its just not worth getting wound up about. Holidays should be exciting and fun, not the source of a stomach ulcer!

Yes I inherited the holiday anxiety too!

We have a holiday home abroad too and I still haven’t managed to be less panicky. Not that we can even get there right now anyway.

I came to realise recently that I actually bloody hate holidays. The build up stresses me out, leaving the animals stresses me out, the travel stresses me out and the money spent on it stresses me out. We’ve stopped going and I don’t miss it at all.
The moment dawned on us when we spent the evening on holiday watching the webcams at home of the cats and horse instead of enjoying where we were

We’ll have to have holidays as DD grows up as don’t want her missing out. But tbh I’d much rather not bother going.

This is why I rarely go on holiday - far too stressful thinking about all the ways it can go wrong (and at such expense). Even worse since I had kids, as that's now three additional people who can get ill or have accidents. Probably a good thing I always thought they were over rated and just done mostly for bragging rights as to who had gone to the most expensive places.

Oh here are my people. What is it about holidays that makes this happen? I love going on holidays. It’s why I go to work. But the nearer it gets the deeper the pit of anxiety gets, the insane urge to deep clean the house and leave it looking like a show home (for the first time ever), the being certain that you’ll forget something integral to the enjoyment of your entire break (that they won’t sell in whatever undoubtedly mainstream tourist destination we’re going to), the certainty that one of us will fall ill and end up in hospital, ‘airportGrealish’ who is a beast of her own that causes the kids to shrink back in terror because every single tiny thing gets on my last nerve and the arrival and overwhelming disappointment that once again I’ve been a horrible bag to my entire family and now have to share a room with them in close quarters for a week or longer. Only to go to bed, wake up and be at peace with the world once more.

DH and the kids know now what to expect, they roll with it for the most part and joke about ‘airportmum’ with affection. But I do wish I could be more chill about it all.

Following. Me too!

Just plan ahead - make a list - pack early !! I’m going away on Sunday and have packed for myself and my 3 month old already!

Now I can relax in the lead up

I too have found my people on this thread! In the run up to most holidays I declare that they can all go without me or we’re definitely selling the campervan or something equally ridiculous. I have always left too much to the last minute and can usually be found in the early hours trying to finish work, sort paperwork etc. Each time I vow to be different…. And DH’s chilled out persona winds me up even more!

@Cam2020

Sorry to sound dim, but why pack food? I go self catering and never take food. Research where to go for dinner/takeaway if youre arriving late, a quick pit stop into a convenience store en route for wine, coffee, milk etc. It sounds like you're putting more pressure on yourself.

4 teens. I bring a lot of food...

I'm not at all like this! But my mother was (probably still is but I don't travel with her anymore)
In all honesty & joking aside, it ruined every trip we ever had as kids. And it made me dread holidays as a child. She was so wound up & cranky & fussy about everything it utterly took the joy out of it all for everyone else.
She was just as unrelaxed on the holiday as she was in the run up & my most abiding memories of family holidays are of her inevitably being sick from stress - we had many updates on either constipation or diahorrea!!

I remember the absolute revelation it was when I first travelled without her & my dad when I was in university. It was a genuine lightbulb moment of 'oh! It doesn't have to be like that' & I swore to myself that I would never be like her when it came to travel.

We travel a lot in normal times & have brought dc with us & we all really love it.

Please don't ruin the joy of the adventure of a holiday for your dc / partners. Get help if you need it. It's so horrible to live with someone who is so stressed out

I don't tend to stress about paperwork, or cleaning but holiday prep causes me major anxiety. Pre 2020 I used to travel a lot for work and did get tons better but even going on a one night break sends me a bit funny at the minute. I have food issues which can't always be resolved with a quick pop to the supermarket so always end up taking loads where ever I go. The best bit of a holiday for me is when you are in the lift going to your room for the first time, I feel like I start breathing again. I know there is no reason to worry, I've had really stressful things happen on holidays (hotels overbooked, broken bones and no health card for treatment) and still always had fun. Its just one of those annoying things.

Yes yes yes. Only slightly improved by starting way too early on packing and lists lists lists

Oh god, this is me. I have a meltdown basically. It actually puts me off holidays but we can't afford them anyway. Sorting the fridge and fruit bowl is usually the final hurdle. Also, if you have pets, that always ends up as a major additional nightmare and takes twice as long.

Me too. We're going on UK hols next Friday. I'll probably be going as an exhausted banshee. I think it's because I just everything to be perfect.

Oh this is me without a doubt. House cleaned, Spring cleaned, beds changed, food shop ordered for day we get back, etc.

I'm trying to be better since the children were born.

I also get a little anxious towards the end of the holiday. I'm ok until the half way point, then I'm waiting to go home, not in a good way. By the second last day I'm starting to pack, last day obviously packing. I hate that morning rush.

@tobeworried

Also love coming home to a clean house

It does make coming home so much nicer and more bearable!

We get our cleaner to come while we're away.

No. I'm not like this. But I do find it hard work. The mental load in the weeks leading up, thinking I want to take that so best get it washed now. Dh packs a lot of the stuff and food, but it's such hard work isn't it. I don't mind bleaching the toilets before I go. And I do enjoy my holiday, but if I could pay someone to take away the 'thinking' I would.