To get extremely stressed before holidays

[tobeworried]

I only go on holiday once every couple of years and even then it’s usually for a week at most and within the UK. But even so, I get so stressed in the run-up to the day we go away. I feel like there are a million things to do - leaving the house pristine being one of them so that everything’s in order and it’s nice to come back to on our return.

I always seem to end up with about five loads of laundry to do just before we leave, because I’ve been so busy with work and am disorganised.

Then there’s the food for our self catering holiday, the packing and feeling like I need to be covered for absolutely every eventuality for us and the kids - silly as we’re only staying in the UK, it’s hardly the Sahara desert! I suppose I just want to get to our holiday cottage and totally relax with a glass of wine, not suddenly realise we don’t have something essential and have to send DH off to drive to the supermarket.

I also have this feeling like absolutely everything at home needs to be sorted before I go - such as the paperwork that’s been piling up in the filing cabinet for example. Or the other life admin that needs doing at some point soon (even though it can wait until we get back). I don’t know why I feel like this.

Does anyone else get really stressed in the run-up to holidays, and do any holiday pros have any tips on how to get organised and chill the F out?

I am the same. I change the beds and clean everywhere so it's nice to come back to. Unfortunately i still have children living with me so when I go on holiday they always mess the place up and it is a tip when I return.

These days I stay in hotels as I want to enjoy my time away and not have to cook and clean and the rest, but when I arrive home I am always pissed off especially given the amount of cleaning I do prior to going away

Fuck that

Anything above passport, cash, cards and insurance can be dealt with on arrival.

Unless you're being parachuted in to the middle of the Amazon, everywhere has shops to buy anything you may have forgotten

I panic a bit but because I had change and novelty and find it really disruptive. I don't think I really get how holidays are meant to work!

I'm currently away for two weeks in my parents' holiday house by myself and having a lovely time, even though it's raining. This is because I come here all the time and so it's just like another home for me rather than somewhere new.

That should say "hate" change

Most people who self cater do the shop when they get there, so for a start eat dinner out or get a takeaway first night there and just take or pick up basics for breakfast and either go to the supermarket when you arrive or do as others suggest and book a delivery. If your husband DID have to go to the supermarket because you forgot something, it's not a tragedy. It's not even a problem and certainly not worth ruining a holiday over with anxiety.

In your holiday budget, include the cost of getting someone in to clean for you,
either when you are away or before you go.

And delegate. DH, older kids etc.

Hello my people… 😂 I’m awake ahead of the alarm because we are getting a plane to Scotland this afternoon for the weekend. Before I can think about a glass of something at the airport I’ve replied to several emails since 4.30am I need to see in the food shopping arriving shortly (so we don’t come back to an empty fridge Sunday night) at6am, walk the dog so he’s knackered for the person looking after him, get his food in order until Sunday, register negative Covid tests in case there is a surprise last minute requests at the airport either end (even tho we are double jabbed) throw the bedding in the wash and get it into the dryer before we leave, run around with the hoover do the place isn’t a disaster when we get back, print the tickets for the event we are going to tomorrow, ditto DD’s boarding pass, swear at the printer which will need some sort of bastard attention ink, wrong sort of paper (natch) tidy up the paperwork (obvs) and then download the newspaper and also a couple of episodes of trashy Netflix series ‘the bold type’ to watch with DD on the plane there and back…. I spent most of yesterday getting the cases, packing for everyone the various events we are going to do that no one tries to add something I need to bastarding wash and iron before we go, finding out why Hermes and DHL are both lying about where my parcels are (and getxsaid parcels) which hold at least one outfit I plan on wearing tomorrow 😭 (I do this every trip, order something new to wear that is unlikely to arrive on time and then I think when I see it because it arrives after the trip, why did I order that? It’s awful) getting rid of my ironing pile (so if we all die on the plane no one will judge me 😂) cleaning the bins and fridge (obvs) and grooming the dog so he’s lovely for the person looking after him.

Obviously I have only worn old pants since Monday just in case I don’t have enough choice of newish pants for a three day trip 😂

My DH and DD just let me ‘do my thing’ and run me a bath the night before any trip and hand me a glass of wine. They know I am beyond help, will have everything sorted and understand it’s just best to stay out of the way. Then they help me fake tan my back 😂

I’m like this OP. I hate going away.
I know someone (nice and vague) who does none of the above. No pre-holiday cleaning, laundry basket emptying, fridge cleaning, toilet bleaching, grass cutting.
They just pack and go.
How? Their mother goes in when they have left and does it all for them...😡

Yes this is me. I am also like this on any of the kids trips. Even a day school trip. I dread them all. Worried I have forgotten something etc. I can’t wait till I get home and get the washer on. Sad eh

@ZZTopGuitarSolo

I used to get stressed like this but I don't any more. Nowadays I'm much more capable of just making a list of what actually needs doing and packing, then sticking to it.

The main difference was that I started to realise how unhappy I was making everyone around me, and how unfair that was on them.

Also some Prozac really helped.

My mum ruins the start of every holiday in this way. She’s desperately trying to sort everything out and can’t cope with how much she has to do. We ask her what she needs us to take over and she snaps back that it’s easier if she does it. If it was just general holiday packing, we’d just get on with it but we don’t know what it is she thinks needs doing.

We know she likes a clean and tidy house though so we get on and do that. We also forbid her from cooking for us and make sure we do it. It’s easier now my sister and I (plus partners) are adults. DH and I have two kids but sorting them out is our problem more than mum’s.

(All pre-pandemic when we used to go away with all of us and my sister. We’d all go and stay at their house the day before.)

Me too! The build up, the packing, sorting out pets, the God awful getting 'swimsuit ready' if going abroad. I inadvertently made myself a bit ill before a hol a couple of years ago with all my stresses. Don't know why, dc are much older & dh does all the holiday booking etc so technically I should be able to leisurely pack & go but I guess I'm not made that way.
I used to wish I could just pick up the house & move the whole lot to our holiday destination when dc were younger.
And those mildly "Have you remembered the...." questions just as it's too late to go back! Grrrr!
Wh

I used to be like this when I had a useless lazy partner , now it's just me and ds it's a breeze !
I start preparing weeks in advance though, it's the only way

No. I don't feel the need to do any of things you mention before going on holiday. There is absolutely no need. You are choosing to do them. You can choose not to do them.

Me too! I was horrendous when my children were young and we went away for two weeks - camping in UK with two forays to France.
All the prep fell to me as now ex H didn't like camping but couldn't be arsed to arrange, book, pay for anything else.

Going away today for two nights in new trailer tent with OH who has never been camping before and will probably hate the not having access to an en suite in the middle of the night! Its two nights FGS and two hours from home so if tonight goes horribly then we will just come home but I'm still stressing cos I want him to enjoy it! The weather isn't helping

@Fupoffyagrasshole

There speaks a woman who doesn't have 3 older children who put everything in the washing in the day after you've asked them to pack but must have all the particular items that aren't washed 🤣 packing for babies is easy lol

I used to be like this but after one particularly stressful year I said fuck it. I now pack my own stuff (plus suncream) and leave my teenagers and husband to do their own. If on holiday they don't have something, simply shrug and ask if they packed it.
On self catering I don't take food, and however is hungry first will have to go to the shop or google somewhere to eat.

Assuming you are not on an absolute budget I'd recommend my method!

This must really take the edge off holidays for the rest of your family too. Just get a grip.

Hahah @oohmyback ohh I’m sure things she’ll be much more difficult to pack for when she’s older 😂😂

The pants thing is so you pack your 'good' pants for your holiday and wear your old ones the few days before.
I thought everyone did this. How is it only 3 of us?!

But yes, you are alllll my people

Yes I am exactly the same.

I called the doctor this morning because I realised how depressed I have been since lockdown one... but even before all that trouble I was a nightmare before a holiday.

I'm in this club too. I especially struggle with it in relation to my work, constantly fearing something will go horribly wrong while I'm away and I'll come back to be instantly fired. It gets so bad sometimes that I've even delayed going on holiday for a day or two to give myself more time to "get ready". I often think the stress it causes me (and those around me) is just not worth the benefit of the actual holiday.

It’s only when I go away with family though, I traveled reasonably frequently with work pre Covid and I was very much, toss stuff in a case the night before or morning of and off I go. I think it’s that anxiety of going away with little ones and not being able to get whatever the flavour of the day is (be it food, toy, tv show) wherever you are going if you forget it, or the fear of them hurting themselves in an unfamiliar environment - if like mine they’re accident prone AF. As they’ve got older my stress has definitely reduced around travelling with them.

@JustMarriedBecca

The pants thing is so you pack your 'good' pants for your holiday and wear your old ones the few days before. I thought everyone did this. How is it only 3 of us?!

But yes, you are alllll my people

I do this with all clothes, not just pants. I hide DD1’s good stuff in the lead up to a holiday too.

I get that too, we had a little holiday last year that turned out to be not so great in my eyes and I really felt like I'd failed my family even though they actually had a great time.

This year our uk holiday was the best but in the run up to it, I kinda worked myself up in to a state about everything, things to take, leaving the house all clean as we had house viewings booked.

I just have to keep reminding myself not to go so crazy with stuff again, I've actually created a notes page on my phone for tips for next year as we are going to the same place again.

Though to be fair to myself, I do think this is more down to the pandemic making me feel more anxious about things than anything else.

I get like this but things I have found helped are getting everyone from age 7 upwards (nothing magic about that age, but roughly then) to pack their own stuff. If dh they forget anything it is their own responsibility. Getting dh (who does love holidays) to do all the organising then if the place isn't quite right it isn't my responsibility. One of my dc is quite happy organising food so they do that. Still would probably be happier being at home but the others all enjoy travel so I go along for them. Making sure that dh always has a day off before the holiday to pack the camping stuff / help tidy for cat sitters etc. He always underestimates the length of time it takes to prepare.