She seems older for her age

[Justsawagecko]

My toddler Dd. She’s almost 3 but has crazy vocabulary..using words like ‘Absolutely’ ‘Broadcasting’ ‘Besides’ etc. She hears something and it just seems to stick in her mind, she knows what it means too. Ever since she was around 1.5, her language just took off and we’ve had normal conversations ever since. She crawled & walked fairly late, but just seems so attuned to things and like an older child in a toddlers body in many ways. It worries me for the future, is this normal?

@Justsawagecko ah ok, just it sounds familiar. One of mine I'm pretty sure would have been diagnosed with hypercalculia (similar kind of thing but with numbers) but it was years ago and those diagnoses weren't on the radar then. His social difficulties weren't very marked but he was a bit of a round peg in a square hole and like your dd got on better with older kids and, as he became older himself, younger kids. Also had a few aversions, two incidents of complete meltdown but not enough for an asd diagnosis. If it helps at all he has fully embraced his quirks as he's got older and is now geek and proud and studying further maths and socially has no issues - in fact he's actually quite popular, possibly because he is a bit off beam but doesn't give a shit about being "on beam".

@Armadollo 🥰

@Letsallscreamatthesistene 😂Seriously

@EmeraldShamrock The part about adults being predictable is really interesting, she will often look at children as if she’s confused by them. Having said that, she still can be really silly and childish and talk about poo and bogies etc and find it funny 🙄it’s just a lot of the time she’s pretty serious minded

[quote Justsawagecko]@Mamanyt Oh most definitely, she’ll always have that 🥰[/quote]
Then she will thrive. Relax and enjoy her company! I had one who talked very early...probably because his brother had an undiagnosed hearing impairment, said what he actually heard, and the younger brother translated for us.

My sister did EVERYTHING very early, walking, talking, reading...she unfortunately died just before I was born. *Nothing to do with her early development, a communicable disease." I've often wondered if I was "lucky" that I did not have to grow up in her shadow, only with her memory. Selfish, I know, but I was a shy child, and she's have made me disappear.

@Armadollo What would you class as complete meltdown? When she’s had them, we’ve had a couple this year that have been off the scale. Very hard to calm down etc, but again, she’s my only child and I’m not 100% what’s considered within the norm

@Letsallscreamatthesistene Wow, we all have opinions but you come across as just mean and nasty.

[quote Justsawagecko]@Letsallscreamatthesistene 😂Seriously[/quote]
Seriously

Yeah just that, physically uncontrollable by us and by teacher. It was nuclear and not at all like a tantrum or whatever. Triggered by thinking he was "breaking a rule" because something unexpected happened. That's what prompted me to get him assessed but he didn't meet the ASD criteria.

I've read up on hypercalculia since and apparently it's usual for any traits to lessen over time which is exactly what happened. His obsession with numbers hasn't gone away (although he contains it better - he used to "see" numbers and associated colours/shapes/patterns - associations his brain made - all the time) but it's serving him well enough so that's fine.

I was like this as a child, I had an older mum and spent a lot of time with her and her older friends/sisters. I was often the only child around as their kids were older and off out playing, so while I was sat there colouring or whatever I soaked up their conversation. I can remember many times out in shops etc and the cashier/other shoppers saying "she's been here before" to my mum, as I would just be rattling on like a little old woman.

I haven't rtft but my dd was conversational very early (18 months) and around 4 I became a bit concerned as she was just a bit different but nothing I could pin down.
Shes 12 now and has crippling anxiety due to undiagnosed adhd. Hasn't attended school since Easter.
If you feel something in your gut, don't ignore it. An earlier diagnosis would have possibly avoided how low she feels about herself now.
She still seems much older than she is.

Threads like this really show MN at its worst. Some posters can be so nasty, so vitriolic. I know it’s an old trope but there are real people behind these threads. I don’t understand posters getting their jollies from being cunts to them. It only makes them look like arseholes, not like the big, clever, popular mean girls and boys they seem to think they are...

I remember feeling like this about my DS’s meltdowns, I thought it was just him being a threenager on one level, but my gut told me it was somehow different. They were not that frequent but when they came they were so explosive and often rooted in a perceived sense of injustice about something (often kind of minor, but so well justified by himself!) I found big, firm holding hugs help when he’s on the wobble and drawing a ‘feelings volcano’ together helped him understand the way he can get. I say trust your gut, people told me I was being silly, or wouldn’t engage, or thought I was bragging whenever I tried to talk about my concerns, but really early in reception at school he was sent off to a LASS class and I knew I had been right. Definitely not saying the same will be your experience, but I think the best thing you can do is learn to live for now with accepting it as a possibility. Schools are great compared to how they were for picking things up, so when she starts they will notice things quickly and talk to to you. Do you notice any issues around eating, or sensitivity to noisy environments, certain textures etc? x

[quote bossybloss]@Letsallscreamatthesistene Wow, we all have opinions but you come across as just mean and nasty.[/quote]
Im alright with that if im honest

Yeah I mean tbh the reason I skipped most of the thread is because it's full of people making smart arse remarks which is boring.

Agree with others to trust your gut OP. If you think something's not right then keep pushing. I wish I'd pushed harder in hindsight. I mean it's worked out okay in the end but I do worry that things could have been easier for him when he was little.

@99Marbles Thank you 🙏 She’s a great eater and shows no problem with food or textures, just the noises. She gets very overwhelmed when our dog barks, she starts to shout too, which makes everything worse 😩she also frequently asks to turn the radio down in the car (isn’t that loud) and often talks about things being too noisy. Again, not sure if it’s normal toddler reaction 🤷🏻‍♀️
Similar with her seeing things as being unjust and getting ‘Very’ upset about it. I’ve sat in silence for up to half an hour just letting her calm herself down and being there for her, it makes it worse to try to console etc. She can also become very overwhelmed towards the end of play dates, she gets herself so excited a lot of the time and it sometimes doesn’t end well

@PutYourBackIntoit So sorry to hear that about your girl 😞what other behaviour did you notice when younger?

@bossybloss I think it’s for attention perhaps? It’s pretty sad and just comes across as being a dick really.

Again. Nothing you are saying is outwith the realms of normal.

All toddlers have an innate sense of fairness and that if something isn't seen to be fair eg an unequal number of biscuits between children they won't cope very well.

All little children tend to get overexcited and overwhelmed at the end of a playdate.

@Winterwoollies I agree, it can be really upsetting and I don’t understand why they do that, what drives them to be nasty.

Your gut can be wrong though. Especially if you're an anxious person or worrier, like op says she is.

In that case your gut is always on the lookout for "threats" in your environment and starts jumping to conclusions about harmless things.

I get where you’re coming from - my cousin felt the same about her daughter at that age (she just wanted her to fit in and didn’t feel equipped to deal with a genius). Said daughter is now a ‘normal’ 9 year old. My son is 3, going on 86. He’s such a little old man in so many ways and he wows everyone with his speech. But I much prefer that to his raspberry blowing and fart jokes!

My now 10year old was the same and also reading very early and proficiently. As she’s got older it seems she has strong interest with words and language in general (always wants to know the origins of words and why things are said in a certain way etc)
I did have some suspicion about asd when she was a baby/toddler but hv disagreed, but now she is older she seem to have more and more traits of asd and I wonder if the language thing is one too. Hopefully she will be getting assessed before she starts secondary school next year.