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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sick of being a personal taxi driver for family

81 replies

Pheobe2020 · 22/06/2021 20:20

Hi. I just wanted some general advice on how I can get out of giving people lifts in my car ? I probably sound horrible but it’s gotten to a point where people are generally taking advantage. And I do it because it’s family and I feel bad for saying no, but it’s really starting to take up my time.

I’m a full time student with two children , I work as well, and I suffer with depression.

It’s literally ever other day , can you pick me up with my shopping , can you take me shopping , then here then here , to the doctors etc, even tip runs !! I’m literally fed up. I feel like I spend all of my time running around for everyone, I paid for a car to make my life easier and wish I never did. Please someone tell me I’m not a horrible person.

OP posts:
StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 22/06/2021 21:07

No that doesnt work for me.

Dont be tempted to make up excuses - youre just inviting discussions and negotiations. No that doesnt work, no I cant, because I'm busy/have plans.

Notaroadrunner · 22/06/2021 21:07

Maybe if you send a group text stating that you are no longer available to provide a taxi service, they will all realise that it's not just one person who regularly asks.

'Guys, I have fallen a bit behind with my college course and it's affecting time with the kids. So from today I am no longer available to act as a taxi for you all. I'm sure you will all understand'

seepingweeping · 22/06/2021 21:09

Tell them no op.

I had people take the utter piss when I started driving and eventually I just started saying no, I can't. And they stopped asking after a while.

TheoMeo · 22/06/2021 21:09

Do you have to answer the phone - surely sometimes you are busy at uni/ out in the garden/ having a drink with a friend (phone off) / taking DCs out. I know people who always say their phone was turned off and it's v annoying but it's their right - I don't rush to respond to their calls.

Original poster
Pheobe2020 · 22/06/2021 21:12

@Templetreebloom

Do they text you? Just dont look at your phone if you are doing housework/ studying. Or get caller display and dont answer if they call you.
It’s family who I talk to and have a genuine good relationship with that’s what is difficult, as I don’t want to upset anyone or cause a rift between us , but at the same time it’s generally disrupting my life now , I dread picking up my phone as I know it’s someone asking for something. Both my sisters live at home with my mum still, have no bills to pay, have plenty of money to pay for driving lessons , yet they don’t because muggins here does it lol 😏
OP posts:
SpiderinaWingMirror · 22/06/2021 21:12

If you cant stand up to giving them the truth.
Tendonitis is your friend. You have to give driving over and above your immediate needs a rest for the foreseeable future. And pass them a taxi number.

Franklin12 · 22/06/2021 21:13

I thought it might be someone older. A friend of mine gets run ragged with parents who put on the sad face if she doesn’t do what they want.

Original poster
Pheobe2020 · 22/06/2021 21:18

@Howshouldibehave

I would have a strop at the next person that asked and say, ‘Do you know what? I am sick and tired of being used as everyone’s free taxi since I got a car-it’s just not fair and takes the piss!’ and let that news spread across the family.

I wouldn’t agree to do it in the first place, though-I’m horrible Grin

Lol this made me giggle thank you. I’ve put in our family group chat tonight that I’ll no longer be offering taxi services , It’s adding to my mental health issues , it’s inconvenient and I have a family of my own and my own health and life to concentrate on. No one has yet replied. They’ll get over it 🥲
OP posts:
jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 22/06/2021 21:19

Sorry grandma I can't due to uni deadline.
If you let me know what you need and send your bank details, I will get it delivered for you .

TheSunShinesBright · 22/06/2021 21:19

If they ask by text don’t reply. If they ask in person say ‘Oh I’m really sorry I’m not free then. Call ‘PayForYourLiftHereTaxis’, I’ve heard they’re good!’

TheSunShinesBright · 22/06/2021 21:21

I’ve put in our family group chat tonight that I’ll no longer be offering taxi services , It’s adding to my mental health issues , it’s inconvenient and I have a family of my own and my own health and life to concentrate on. No one has yet replied. They’ll get over it 🥲
Oh well done OP! Good work!
Yes, they will have to get over it. You have done the right thing.

hellogem · 22/06/2021 21:24

Your just going to have to say your car has issues. Try avoiding them seen as your finding it hard saying no.
Or better to be just honest and say am sorry I can't take you here and there anymore, it's stressing me out, am missing out on doing uni work/house work, extremely tired after work and then looking after my kids too. It's just not going to work anymore. Text it if you can't say it out loud to them.

Vivi0 · 22/06/2021 21:26

@Pheobe2020

Good for you!

billy1966 · 22/06/2021 21:30

Well done OP, letting them all know in one fell swoop that the worm has turned👏👏

Howshouldibehave · 22/06/2021 21:30

Good for you, @Pheobe2020!!

Stay firm!

ChargingBuck · 22/06/2021 21:31

Well done OP!
Also PP who suggested group text - brilliant. Should take the sting out as it's not directed at any one offender ...

tallduckandhandsome · 22/06/2021 21:38

Just say you're busy! You have so much going on, just pick one!

You shouldn't need an excuse, just say no, but if you do:

I can't I'm studying
I can't I'm working

DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo · 22/06/2021 21:38

Fantastic!!

You've switched your taxi sign off, OP - no longer available for hire 👏👏👏

LawrenceChaney22 · 22/06/2021 21:41

I know exactly how you feel except it’s more my partner and his mum, I’ve been driving 7 years and it’s been a constant battle of being a taxi driver and finding it hard to say no! It all gets a bit too much especially when it’s no appreciated.

I find it worse with non drivers as they don’t understand as much as people who do drive. I’ve learned to start saying no as I was getting asked to drive to shops less that a 5 minute walk away, complete piss taking !

PercyPiginaWig · 22/06/2021 21:42

Well done @Pheobe2020

You need to prioritise yourself.

I've seen a family member have the absolute piss taken out of them for lifts (including being woken up to get out of bed and drop someone home!)
People don't respect others' time.

If your assignments were a paid job they (hopefully) wouldn't turn up at your workplace and ask for lifts, this is no different.
You are also entitled to downtime and it's important to look after your mental health. 💐

QueenBee52 · 22/06/2021 21:43

Brilliant... Group chat has fainted... or set up a separate group chat without you lol lol ... either way Brilliantly handled...

I bet you feel amazing OP Flowers

Graphista · 22/06/2021 21:44

as I don’t want to upset anyone or cause a rift between us

As always with cfs- they don't care about upsetting you! Inconveniencing you!

No one has yet replied. They’ll get over it 🥲

Of course they will

I was gonna suggest delivery for gran too. Much easier for her and you.

Slippy78 · 22/06/2021 22:06

Say no?

HollowTalk · 22/06/2021 22:09

Good for you! It's about time they were told. Now you have to stick to it.

Macncheeseballs · 22/06/2021 22:15

Get some bikes and/or move closer to town