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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't be giving away my stuff to his ex?

55 replies

Yeez · 21/06/2021 16:33

Came home the other day to find out DH has given away a blender I bought myself a while ago to his ex because she mentioned wanting one and I "don't use it anyway". It's not just a crappy £10 job either, it was quite expensive and came with different attachments etc...

I haven't used it in a while admittedly but I was actually planning to again during the summer for smoothies and so on.

He thinks I'm being OTT and how was he supposed to know because it's been sat in a cupboard for ages. I think regardless he should have checked with me?! To clarify it was 100% mine, I bought it and I was the only one who ever uses it.

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 21/06/2021 16:34

You are 100% not unreasonable! I would tell him he had to get it back ASAP.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 21/06/2021 16:36

He needs to get it back or replace it
That is stunningly cheeky

Leeds2 · 21/06/2021 16:37

He needs to replace it, pronto.

OldEvilOwl · 21/06/2021 16:37

Cheeky bastard! How dare he give your stuff away!

Cantdecidewhere · 21/06/2021 16:37

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

He needs to get it back or replace it That is stunningly cheeky
Agree 100% He gets ot back or replaces it, what a twat.
nocoolnamesleft · 21/06/2021 16:38

Right, what of his are you going to flog on eBay?

hardboiledeggs · 21/06/2021 16:38

Least he could have done is asked you. Not his to give away so YANBU

canigooutyet · 21/06/2021 16:39

He has 2 choices
Get the item back
He needs to replace it by the end of the week

He is told under no circumstances is he to give your stuff away. This time he will get off with a warning. However, next time, I will give your stuff away. I don't care who to whether it's an ex or a legit charity case.

It doesn't matter if the thing is £1 or £100. It's effectively stealing. He's taken your stuff without your permission and had no intention of replacing it.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 21/06/2021 16:39

He buys you a new one, same standard.

That would be bad enough if he gave it to a work colleague. Giving it to an ex seems worse somehow. Like, it tells you where you are in his pecking order and it's lower than you'd care to imagine.

Thevoiceofreason2021 · 21/06/2021 16:40

Give his stuff away and see how he likes it. Wtf is he doing giving it to his ex?

rbe78 · 21/06/2021 16:40

Who is the one person who thinks you are being unreasonable?!?!?!? Send him a link to the new one he's going to buy you.

Maybe give that bike/drill/iPad/camera he hasn't used for a while to the next rando that passes the front door as well...

XiXiXi · 21/06/2021 16:40

I feel a massive dripfeed/backstory coming …

cupsofcoffee · 21/06/2021 16:40

He either gets it back or replaces it with a brand new one.

He's a knob.

Notaroadrunner · 21/06/2021 16:41

Ensure he gets it back asap or buys you the same one.

mildlymiffed · 21/06/2021 16:42

My mum did this once. Gave away my sewing machine to a friend. I got the right hump. She said I didn't use it, but I'd just signed up for lessons!!!

HappyWipings · 21/06/2021 16:42

Tell us more about how he has no respect for you or your belongs , yet expects his to be carefully handled.

Seesawmummadaw · 21/06/2021 16:43

Tell him that she can have him back if she would like.

SilverGoblin · 21/06/2021 16:43

Why is he giving his ex stuff at all?

Are you sure that's all he's giving her because that's bloody weird.

Ohmygoshandfolly · 21/06/2021 16:45

Guessing they have children and she mentioned needing one for the children so he just thought to give her that one because it isn’t used. It would be a kind gesture if he actually owned it but it was yours so of course he was unreasonable. He needs to buy you a new one.

Dryadia · 21/06/2021 16:46

You need an upgrade, I'll leave the choice to you, new blender or DH! Grin

Sn0tnose · 21/06/2021 16:47

how was he supposed to know because it's been sat in a cupboard for ages

All he needed to know was that it didn’t belong to him. You definitely need to give him the option of either getting it back or replacing it before the weekend. If he refuses, give his shoes to a charity shop.

Original poster
Yeez · 21/06/2021 16:47

No huge backstory really... She came to pick up the kids asked if we had this particular blender as DSC had mentioned it, she was thinking of getting one, was it good etc... And he basically said here have ours we don't use it. Except it wasn't 'ours' it was mine!

They get on okay as do we. We haven't always though but things are better these days.

I'm not concerned about him giving her more than a blender 😂, they've been split up ages and she has a new husband herself but yeah it has pissed me off.

OP posts:
NigellaSeed · 21/06/2021 16:51

Sounds like he owes you some money - which you can spend on a new blender - or something else if you fancy it. Wouldn't it be good if you ended up with something you liked even better than that blender.

Dontbeme · 21/06/2021 16:54

Ah so he is that person, the one that likes all the benefit of being caring and generous but without giving away anything of his or actually putting his hand in his own pocket. It's time for him to buy you a new blender and any further incidences of his playing Santa with your stuff and I would be hitting the roof.

Taliskerskye · 21/06/2021 16:57

I would flip a lid.