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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't be giving away my stuff to his ex?

55 replies

Yeez · 21/06/2021 16:33

Came home the other day to find out DH has given away a blender I bought myself a while ago to his ex because she mentioned wanting one and I "don't use it anyway". It's not just a crappy £10 job either, it was quite expensive and came with different attachments etc...

I haven't used it in a while admittedly but I was actually planning to again during the summer for smoothies and so on.

He thinks I'm being OTT and how was he supposed to know because it's been sat in a cupboard for ages. I think regardless he should have checked with me?! To clarify it was 100% mine, I bought it and I was the only one who ever uses it.

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 21/06/2021 16:59

All of my appliances sit in their boxes in the cupboard, it doesn't mean my husband gets to give them away!

He either needs to get it back ASAP or buy an equivalent replacement by the weekend.

Howshouldibehave · 21/06/2021 17:00

It is very simple-he needs to contact his ex and say he is very sorry but he mistakenly thought he could give away your stuff but was wrong, and had no right to do so, so could you have it back.

Will he do that, @Yeez?

Ambo21 · 21/06/2021 17:01

Brand spanking new top of the range replacement as soon as he likes please.... Friday at the latest... cos you are going to use it at the weekend!

billy1966 · 21/06/2021 17:04

Unbelievably disrespectful and cheeky.

GloriousGoosebumps · 21/06/2021 17:07

Are you up to explaining to the ex wife that the blender wasn't his to give away and asking for it back? She could hardly hang on to it and this approach has the advantage of making dh look a right dick.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 21/06/2021 17:08

@Dontbeme

Ah so he is that person, the one that likes all the benefit of being caring and generous but without giving away anything of his or actually putting his hand in his own pocket. It's time for him to buy you a new blender and any further incidences of his playing Santa with your stuff and I would be hitting the roof.
Yep!

DF is one of these.

Guitar given away because I wasn't using it - it disappeared whilst I was at school on the one day in over a month I wasn't practicing for a concert, the following day.

Stamp collection went, I wasn't using it - though my cousin thanked me for the 3 packets of stamps and new hinges included, that I had bought with that weeks pocket money.

Dolls pram, used for transporting craft stuff to the village hall - disappeared whilst I was at school. Next door but one's kids wrecked it in weeks.

Weaving loom, spirograph, all sorts of toys disappeared.

I hid my charm bracelet, wrapped in pretty paper, inside a pretty box, under a floorboard under my bed - my mother found it and sold it because I obviously wasn't looking after it. Bracelet and all charms bought for me by my granddad (mum's dad), who had died 6 months before.

I hate people who appropriate other people's possessions. So much so that DH won't even throw out a magazine I have been reading, just in case. He learned the hard way 😊

Kacha30 · 21/06/2021 17:11

Tell him to get it back or buy you a new one ASAP.

Original poster
Yeez · 21/06/2021 17:28

I did tell him I'd expect a new one! We shall see if one appears. Feel like it's too awkward to ask for it back now

OP posts:
MangoBiscuit · 21/06/2021 17:33

Might be awkward for him, but he should have thought about that before he gave away your stuff! I'm gobsmacked at how fucking cheeky that is!

DoylyCarte · 21/06/2021 17:37

Agree with others saying he needs to get it back immediately or replace it with a new (better!) one ASAP.

Yanbu.

GreyhoundG1rl · 21/06/2021 17:40

Don't ask for it back, it's hardly her fault. Make him replace it and he won't be so free with your stuff in future.

ClutchesPearlsAndFaints · 21/06/2021 17:40

I'd fucking kill him . He needs to get it back

Hawkins001 · 21/06/2021 17:46

Your dh, should of asked you first.

MadeForThis · 21/06/2021 17:51

I would definitely expect a new one

billy1966 · 21/06/2021 17:55

@Yeez

I did tell him I'd expect a new one! We shall see if one appears. Feel like it's too awkward to ask for it back now
OP, Stand up for yourself. What he did is so disrespectful and has zero place in a healthy marriage.

He didn't think of you for one minute in that transaction and as this is his second marriage I would be having a good hard long thing about his disregard for you and YOUR stuff when you mustn't be married long.

He should be offering to contact his ex to apologise for his mistake.

If not you should do it to prove to yourself and him that you won't accept such cheeky fxxkery from him.

YOU have nothing to be embarrassed about, bar the fact that you and his ex have both married a CF.

How would he feel if you gave an ex something belong to him?

DrManhattan · 21/06/2021 18:10

I'd go nuts.
He can ring her and say it was a mistake or get you a new one.

IAmAWomanNotACis · 21/06/2021 18:13

Yes he needs to buy you a new one. I'm sure amazon do next day delivery.

Marcipex · 21/06/2021 18:20

@CuriousaboutSamphire how utterly awful, I’m so sorry Flowers

noirchatsdeux · 21/06/2021 18:23

Christ, my partner used to do this when we were first together. I used to get sent electronics items to review for a website, a lot of the time I used to be able to keep them. I was a freelancer so when work was slow I used to keep my finances steady by selling them when required, either through eBay or various buy-back shops.

Partner offers a brand new phone that cost £700 (and this was over 10 years ago, so that was very high end) to a mutual friends girlfriend...without even asking me first! She came over and partner was 'oh I said GF can have said phone you don't mind, do you?'...of course, put on the spot I couldn't say 'fuck off and die'....I was livid! Read him the riot act afterwards but it took him awhile to stop trying to give away my stuff! Said friend's girlfriend turned out to be a right little bitch who was slagging me and partner off to all and sundry anyway! They didn't last long...bloody expensive phone probably lasted 10 times longer!

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 21/06/2021 18:34

Look up the one you want online and send him the link, saying order this ASAP or I'm asking Ex for mine back. And do it, or he'll walk all over you.

Permanentlygrumpy · 21/06/2021 18:38

Give away the most expensive thing that he owns to a random on the street. That is what I'd do if my dh dared to do this.

EKGEMS · 21/06/2021 20:18

Sounds like she was sniffing around snd dropping hints knowing your husband is a pushover and he has a need to be liked to the detriment of you! I'd tell him he replaces that blender immediately or you're flogging his favorite whatever on EBAY-don't let him slide on this

billy1966 · 21/06/2021 20:24

@CuriousaboutSamphire

That is so awful to read.
So hurtful.

Flowers
cakecakecheese · 21/06/2021 20:32

@Taliskerskye

I would flip a lid.
But not while the blender is in use. Messy.

But yes giving away your stuff without asking is clearly not on. Definitely insist on a new one.

QueenBee52 · 21/06/2021 21:37

Yes he must buy you a replacement.. get a top of the range .. that'll ensure he doesn't do it again... Flowers

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