Leant a friend money-can I take them to court?

[Fredastaireschair]

I feel so stupid!
It's only £300. I won't starve.
I am more so annoyed with friend who I've known some 20 plus years.
I leant in bits and bats (£10,£20, £30 here and there) and friend would pay back borrow more pay back but always paid back.

Then they asked for a larger amount when already owed about £50, and then said their partner was getting a bonus on X date, could I lend a further amount and then they'd be back on their feet, would pay it all back and would never need to borrow again.

I trusted them and did it. Since then I've had 'bonus is on (a later) date now', then being blanked, then they gave me a different date-then I sent a message saying I was actually getting rather pissed off now, and I needed it back even if they had to beg/borrow-and they apologised profusely and said it would definitely definitely be paid back 'Saturday' (yesterday).

Should I send a more terse message? Try for small claims? Block them on everything (although this almost guarantees I'll never be paid back and probably gives them a reason not to)?

I don't know what is going on for friend. I know something occurred at work and they lost their (decent) job a year or so ago and now work in a minimum wage one, I get that times are hard.

It is more the false promises and lies! We've lived together (were at university together) have been there for one another multiple times, I really cannot believe they've done this at all.

@Caradogthemouse

Surely this is not a case of lying though is it?

More likely it’s a case of best intentions and meaning to pay it back, but finding she can’t, and a lot of embarrassment and shame.

My mum says: you should never lend a friend money that you can’t afford to lose, unless you can afford to lose your friend.

You know she’s in hard times, you chose to take the risk and lend her the money.

Now you have to choose between the £300 or your friendship. In fact you are at risk of losing both.

I don’t know if you can get it back through court (almost certainly not unless you signed some sort of agreement?) but if you try your friendship is over.

Is she a thief who would willingly steal from you? Her previous habit of paying you back suggests not.

I would work on the friendship: ask her what’s up, how you can support her? Is she in debt? Be empathetic- maybe she will tell you about her situation and you can help her to plan / get help financially. If you are a supportive friend to her (emotionally- not financially- Do not give her any more!!) there is a good chance that when she gets another well paying job again, she will pay you back with interest. If you hassle her now for what she hasn’t got, at a time when she is under stress, you will get nothing and lose her as your friend.

Having been massively in debt, husband with very little idea of how far in we were as I’d tried really really hard to keep us a float without him knowing / worrying.

We’re out of it now but support is what I needed 100%

Debt leaves you in really bad place and saying things that you never normally would. Please try and really help your friend. Once she’s back on her feet she will repay you in far more then just the cash.

Sorry missed this ^^ out of my post!

I am so sorry that your friend has done this. You are in a v difficult position. Do you loose your friendship over the money or try and stay friends. A letter from solicitor or cab might help.

But I think the person owing the money has to pay that if the OP wins the case. That's assuming she ever gets any money back. Having a CCJ against them does not guarantee that she'll ever get a penny.

It does make it a lot more likely though. At the moment all that's happening is wishful thinking.

At least they won’t be asking you for money again or if they do you can say no without feeling guilty

It'll only cost the OP about £50.

This is a very useful govt publication to read.

police won't be at all interested, this is a civil matter. So look into small claims, ensure you have evidence and then say to "friend" - look this is awkward but i need this money back, please pay £50/£100 back on Payday and next x paydays. Else you will have to go via the court

If they don't pay when its done via a court order, you can (pay) and get a CCJ issued which will very much screw up their chances of getting mortgages etc.

your friendship seems screwed, a friend would agree a payment plan wouldn't they? suggest £50 per month from 1st July and it will be repaid by xmas. If they refuse, they clearly are not going to pay you back. Then i'd consider if the court fees were worth it but I'd tell them i was doing it regardless and make them wait to see what happens.

Tell her that you're hurt. That you consider her a close friend and it upsets you that she's done this and you don't understand why she won't pay you back.

Can you not agree a repayment plan?

I offered a payment plan some weeks ago and they said 'No! Want to give it you all back together and will do on X date!' I asked were they sure, 'yes of course!'

This choice is no longer up to her. I find what she said above to be very strange, actually: she could certainly pay you back early on an installment plan, but at least there would be a good faith effort.

I do think talking to your friend, as mentioned above, is a great idea. I'm not entirely sanguine that she'll meet up with you--my guess is that she is going to try to duck you.

You may have to bite the bullet and take the hit. It will ruin the friendship, which is sad. She sounds like she's having a rough time of it, what with losing her job, and I imagine that if she came to you and said, "look, I'm having an awful time, and I don't know when I can pay you back, but I can give you £5 a week for now," you would have understood. I mean, even if she just swallowed her pride and said, "this is awful, I don't know how I'm going to get through it, and I can't pay you. I'm so sorry. I will as soon as I can," you probably would be fine. But instead she's stringing you along, clearly not prioritizing you (with the nights out etc), and generally being irresponsible and rude.

I'd go to court rather than let her off it. It's just not fair that she should get away with it when you've been really good to her. Either way you've lost a friend, so you might as well lose her and have your money back.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/958344/n1-eng.pdf

Fill this out, print it out.

Send it with a formal letter stating that if you are not in receipt of the funds within seven days the forms will be lodged with XXX county court.

The fee for you will be £35, but I generally find that my customers pay up before the seven days.

Your name and address

Their name and address

Pursuant to the County Court Act 1984 Centre this

NOTICE OF INTENDED COURT PROCEEDINGS Centre this as well

Dear Bad Payer

TAKE NOTICE that a sum is due to me of £300.

Unless payment is made to the above address within seven days Legal Action to recover the debt will be taken against you without further notice.

Copies of relevant texts are available.

Yours sincerely

Send the letter recorded delivery Money well spent.

I don't even lend money to my dc without getting them to sign to say they've had it.
I find signing an agreement concentrates the mind and stops people claiming the money was a gift.

If most of these cf's went to a bank they would have to sign a contract.
If they're not prepared to do so then they obviously don't need the money.

We had a similar situation with cousin, only the amount got up to £5,000. We kept asking nicely, and we got it back after about 3 years. His business is still struggling. We feel sorry for him, but whenever he asks now, we will only lend a small amount if it is returned within a few days

@RaspberryCoulis

Judge Rinder, perhaps...

Judge Rinder would tell you that unless you have an agreement in writing you’re on a hiding to nothing

@JudgeRindersMinder

I have read so many detective stories and watched so many thrillers that I AM a detective. Torn between Lord Peter Marple and Hercule Reacher.

OP sympathies. I would go to friend and say I need the money back because of my own situation and that you be loathe to go to the County Court.

I think you need a signed agreement to claim it back.

Go for small claims-they're obviously hoping you won't push it. We had to do this with my (ex) BIL after he borrowed £200 and claimed he couldn't pay it back.

@Pixxie7

I think you need a signed agreement to claim it back.

No, as I've just said re my BIL. All he could say when we went to court was that "he thought he'd paid it back". Nothing written down, but they believed us. (He later filed for bankruptcy, but it was the principle of the ting)

I think rinder would say there was no intention to create legal relations here. (Ie would be in written form, though text would be fine, and with a repayment date or schedule)

But as they agreed to pay it back on x date (then didn't) that does create an enforceable contract.

Is there any chance, any at all, that your friend is being financially abused by her partner? In a DV situation he could be forcing her to borrow off friends to give him money he has no intention of paying back or to damage her friendships.

If you have evidence (bank transfer, written agreement, text messages witnesses etc) take them to a small claims court. Its not expensive.

"Its only £300. I won't starve" if you're not overly bothered about the money is it worth falling out with someone who is clearly a close friend over?

Is that what you want op? To take them to court, you’ll likely win and the bailiffs being sent it because they don’t have the cash?

If that’s what you want then it’s an online form and yes you’d likely win.