to ask you to help me make this life decision?

[Blinketyblink]

Hello MNers!

I'll try to keep this brief - would really value your opinions on this.

I have recently been offered a place on a masters course at Cambridge to study a subject I love and I cannot decide whether to go or not. This is not at all a humblebrag situation and I actually have some quite significant imposter syndrome which leads to me telling myself that I don't deserve the opportunity I've been presented with here (but that is another story).

So the backstory is that I am 31 - no children or partner at the moment, so relatively free of any significant commitments. I am not at all the stereotypical Cambridge 'type' - wasn't privately educated or anything like that, although I know they are trying to move away from all that now, and rightly so. I am the opposite in fact, and have come from quite a difficult background, both academically and in terms of my family life - I left school very early, with few qualifications at all and my home life as a child was pretty disastrous - including a brief stint in care.

I just don't know what to do and whether or not to go. Will it benefit my life in a significant / tangible way, both professionally and personally? Hard for you, as strangers to say, maybe. I am just concerned that I would be going for the wrong reasons - which are basically that I feel there is a huge void in my life and this feels like the only remotely positive thing in my future.

My career is not on track, at all! But I think that maybe it could be with this masters degree on my CV. And I have worked out that with a student loan I can scrape the money for the fees + living costs together.

What other things might I gain from doing a postgraduate degree at a good university like Cambridge? Am I too old? (I realise I am not old of course, but relative to the other twenty-something students there perhaps?).

The last 3 years have been extremely difficult and have included leaving an abusive relationship - it has taken me most of this time to recover.

Thank you for any advice - and please be kind as I am feeling a bit wobbly!

What an amazing opportunity! You'd regret not taking it I'm sure. What are the downsides, other than your feeling of not deserving it?

I don’t know which way to vote Go for it, sounds an amazing opportunity. Well done!

Well done...what a great opportunity. After reading your post, I cannot see any reason why you shouldn't do it. I think you should go for it.

Go for it OP.

Have you tried writing a pros and cons list of going and not going?

Surely nobody would regret taking such an opportunity ?
Lack of education is my only regret in life.

Not sure what AIBU or whatever means in this thread, but you'd be CRAZY not to go!

Is this a Masters that would help your career opportunities? Actually I wouldn't care if it didn't, I'd do it for the experience.

Go for it!

Go. ...you cannot turn this opportunity down!

I can't think of any reason at all why you wouldn't. You have come through what is obviously an incredibly difficult time - this is a huge achievement and it seems like it may be the start of something really amazing for you. What is the worst that happens - even if you never use it you have a masters degree and have spent a year studying a subject you love. This is an absolute no brainer!

I get imposter syndrome - all I would say is most of the people on that course won't have gone through the things you have been through. To get a place with all of that going on is a huge achievement - you will have worked harder and be smarter than a lot of them.

What might you gain? Confidence, friends, a redirect in your career, a greater love and knowledge of what you are studying. Wishing you all the luck x

Congratulations…just do it 💐

I can't think of any reasons not to, apart from financial maybe if you're going to struggle. So I vote yes. Double yes.
You deserve the opportunity, you've earned the opportunity. They wouldn't have offered it to you otherwise.

What will you gain? New experiences, fun, knowledge, confidence, pride, friends, work experience, seeing how you can rise to challenges, seeing how much you can achieve.
Have a fab year, I'm envious.

@AdaFuckingShelby

What an amazing opportunity! You'd regret not taking it I'm sure. What are the downsides, other than your feeling of not deserving it?

I suppose primarily that it feels like an enormous undertaking and I am not sure that I will be able to keep up with the demands of the course (mental health a bit all over the place) and I'll have to leave my hometown etc.

The enormous and eye-watering expense is another factor playing on my mind

Wow there are some really lovely responses here and some food for thought - thank you! I feel quite emotional now!

God Lord, you bored me when you said you didn't have kids and were single! You don't have responsibilities to anyone but yourself so why are you looking for excuses? Do you realise how lucky you are in this given situation?

If this isn't the perfect situation to do something for yourself then I'm really at a loss as to what is!!

Just bloody do it, stop looking to hold yourself back, set yourself free!

I love by the adage it’s better to regret things you have done, than things you haven’t done. It will come with a built in social life and opportunities. I’d do it.

Go for it! I went to Uni in Cambridge too and it was fantastic! Amazing place to study, sounds like it would give you something very positive to focus upon plus you have no ties so can really enjoy the experience. Others will be in the same boat as you, plenty of older students and those leaving their hometowns. Just do it, I think you would regret the missed opportunity if you did not and it's not a lifetime of time is it. Good luck and enjoy the experience

do it do it do it. hindsight etc etc.

It sounds amazing. Do it OP

@MyMushroomsInATimeSlip

Have you tried writing a pros and cons list of going and not going?

No not yet @MyMushroomsInATimeSlip but this is a good shout and I will do! Thanks :)

Id say go for it if you dont like then leave but you'll regret not giving it a try

Look at it another way: how will your life change, personally or professionally, if you don't go?

I'm quite an action-orientated person, I'm actually working really hard to build more skills of self-reflection, but if there was ever a time to say 'if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got' then it's now. Go!

What was your motivation for applying in the first place? I would do it if either a) it was going to give me a huge amount of pleasure/valuable life experience or b) it was going to significantly enhance my career prospects (ideally both!) I wouldn’t do it just because it’s Cambridge or because I was a bit stuck in my life. Postgrad study is an expensive way out of a rut.

I have a go to question in this scenario

What's the worst that will happen if you do X ?

Go for it obviously and congratulations the best thing about this is you will get some solid qualifications that will make you feel more self assured and like you have qualified yourself in every sense for the opinions and knowledge you have, which can be helpful in shaking off imposter syndrome.