to ask you to help me make this life decision?

[Blinketyblink]

Hello MNers!

I'll try to keep this brief - would really value your opinions on this.

I have recently been offered a place on a masters course at Cambridge to study a subject I love and I cannot decide whether to go or not. This is not at all a humblebrag situation and I actually have some quite significant imposter syndrome which leads to me telling myself that I don't deserve the opportunity I've been presented with here (but that is another story).

So the backstory is that I am 31 - no children or partner at the moment, so relatively free of any significant commitments. I am not at all the stereotypical Cambridge 'type' - wasn't privately educated or anything like that, although I know they are trying to move away from all that now, and rightly so. I am the opposite in fact, and have come from quite a difficult background, both academically and in terms of my family life - I left school very early, with few qualifications at all and my home life as a child was pretty disastrous - including a brief stint in care.

I just don't know what to do and whether or not to go. Will it benefit my life in a significant / tangible way, both professionally and personally? Hard for you, as strangers to say, maybe. I am just concerned that I would be going for the wrong reasons - which are basically that I feel there is a huge void in my life and this feels like the only remotely positive thing in my future.

My career is not on track, at all! But I think that maybe it could be with this masters degree on my CV. And I have worked out that with a student loan I can scrape the money for the fees + living costs together.

What other things might I gain from doing a postgraduate degree at a good university like Cambridge? Am I too old? (I realise I am not old of course, but relative to the other twenty-something students there perhaps?).

The last 3 years have been extremely difficult and have included leaving an abusive relationship - it has taken me most of this time to recover.

Thank you for any advice - and please be kind as I am feeling a bit wobbly!

Absolutely go, OP! I’ve just finished a PhD at Cambridge and was 30 when I started. It’s a beautiful city and I’ve met amazing people.

I would also perhaps say don’t worry too much about the after - if you’d love to do it, that’s reason enough. It can only be a positive, really, and benefits so often can’t be seen in advance anyway!

There’s academic/pastoral support in your tutors/college etc if you needed it. (And in student-run stuff too.) And everyone has imposter syndrome! 🙂

Huge congrats on the place and wish you all the best! x

I was 45 when I started my masters. I too had imposter syndrome. I will never regret doing it. Even although it hasn’t led to the career I hoped it would, I gained confidence in so many other ways and met some wonderful young adults who accepted me and taught me so much. Absolutely do it!

Oh thank you all so much for these very kind and supportive posts. You have said things that I didn't know I needed to hear - and provided lots of great advice too.

What a warm and supportive place MN can be!

Just another one chiming in to say take the opportunity!!!! It’s an amazing achievement to get a place and it could well be your ‘imposter syndrome’ is trying to keep you stuck now such a massive change is on the horizon. Don’t listen to that listen to the voice that motivated you to apply in the first place.

We mentor students through our work and we see this alot. Those from more difficult backgrounds always question if they should be there or if the reasons for doing it are valid. Typical middle class backgrounds have an inherent self belief that everything will be fine and they never doubt that they should be doing it.
I was talking to one of our students the other day and she said that being brought up poor is not just the lack of money but creates a psychology of always questioning the down side of decisions and a fear in the background that you will never be good enough or you will end up in a very dificult situation.
These are very real ingrained beliefs that are hard to manage, but
If you have been offered the place then well qualified experienced people think you are up to it, they don't often get it wrong at that level. They obviously can not predict life events, but acedemically you will be up to it

31 is only the median age for post grad masters. Some life experiences will absolutely help you achieve in this.

The cost is scarry when you look at it but if you chunk it down and identify all the supports you can get it suddenly doesn't look unmanageable. It really is an investment in your life.

It is absolutely something you will look back at in years to come and be proud you did it. Even if it doesn't work, you should be proud you tried.

One or more of, education, travel, family and partners are the 4 things the majority of people say they wished they had focused on in life.
You have a chance for one of the big 4. Go for it.

Do it! Well done you - Cambridge grad in the making! 🌟

Congratulations! You should absolutely go. It sounds like a wonderful fresh start for you. Cambridge is a beautiful place and there will be many people in the post-grad community of all ages - PhDs, post-docs etc, as well as other Master’s students - so your age shouldn’t bother you at all.

You say you’ve worked out the costs would be doable - so there’s your answer, despite the expense.

If you’re worried about the demands of the course, I’ll whisper it, but, in my opinion, Master’s courses are easier than Undergraduate degrees! you managed an undergrad, so you’ll manage this. Cambridge also offers mental health and study skills support, as well as free counseling for students. The best thing to do is approach it like a job, and study 9-5 Monday-Friday.

You have absolutely got this. You should feel very proud of being accepted on the course. It sounds like it will be a breath of fresh air for you. Good luck and enjoy!

Cambridge isn't all brideshead revisited these days, it's a lovely city, great campuses and brilliant people who are passionate about their research and teaching.

If you reject the place you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you’d gone…

Just do it. If you don’t like it you can always leave. And please don’t say you aren’t the ‘cambridge type’ there IS no Cambridge type, when I went there were far more people from State/intenational schools than private. This myth comes from private schools trying to sell the story to parents that if they pay £100k in school fees they’ll get into Oxford or Cambridge. It’s untrue.

It’s a pretty town with a lot of culture - interesting museums and lectures etc. You’ll have fun, meet interesting people and it’ll help your career.

Sounds like a fantastic opportunity. Don't underestimate how challenging it will be and set yourself up to succeed by researching all the institution will have to offer from pastoral and wellbeing services, career services, etc. Congratulations on the offer.

A postgraduate degree is very different from an undergraduate one. You will see far more mature students and students from a variety of background and life experiences. You will most definitely not be the oldest!
Secondly, I would say taking a postgraduate degree was more like a job, than an undergraduate degree. The experience is totally different.

I think your "con" that you have to leave your home town is actually a "pro" - it will force you out of your comfort zone and to do something new.

Maybe consider the expense of Cambridge versus other masters courses. Can be £20k more than other places.

I am considering a masters but not sure if I am doing it as bored or not, not sure it will have any career benefit bar all learning is good. So okay be doing it for interest only. But it's "only" £13k.

So I'd thibk more about the value of doing it.

I am also put off found anything right now with possibly all online as doing the tutorials online has been a struggle in terms of anyone actually having great academic discussion- it's so stilted. (Cambridge masters students maybe better than my 3rd year law group)
So I am probably delaying until I know it will all be in person.

This sounds a wonderful opportunity and I hope you really enjoy it - i did my first degree and then a masters at Cambridge and this was more than 25 years ago so things would have moved on but even then the postgrad community was much more diverse, very international, people from all backgrounds, and it was far, far less cliquey. I loved it.

Also Cambridge is a beautiful city to live in and there is every type of activity and group that you could imagine. In my masters year I joined a choir and made friends for life.

Well at the least it's a nice place to live for a year.

But - depending on the subject - it may not help your career but get you into more debt.

So I think it depends on your priorities - you might benefit your career, you might meet a partner, you will almost certainly enjoy it.
Vs
You will be in more debt, it might be another year of not furthering your career, it might be v demanding for not much pay off.

But - depending on the subject - it may not help your career but get you into more debt

Yes, seriously consider whether you want to do the course and what you'd get out of it but be realistic in how it may change your prospects. A self funded masters might not be the life changing opportunity you imagine. That's not to say it won't be a great experience but I think you have to offset that against the costs.

Congratulations on the offer OP.

I'm an Essex girl who went to Cambridge as an undergraduate. I can honestly say they were some of the best years of my life. I found it hugely welcoming and liberating.

They wouldn't have offered you the place if they didn't think you were up to it. They will have structures to provide you with academic and pastoral support. It's also a lovely city to be in.

I think you would probably regret it if you didn't take it up. Yes, it's scary but you are up to this MA and you will be supported. Very best wishes.

Go go go! Definitely go!

You’ve nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain as far as I can see. I think you could regret not going!

Go.
This is your destiny. Don't reject it.

I preface this by clearly stating I am not raining on your parade with this comment.

Personally I think given the imposter syndrome you describe it could be good for your confidence if you have the time and can afford it.

My knowledge is limited but my brother did a masters at Cambridge and was very disappointed with the calibre of education and teaching and the experience overall. Tbh he was pretty salty about the whole thing and thinks it was a huge waste of money. It did nothing to further his career and he views it as a waste of a year (when he could have been earning and sorting out a deposit for a place).

Just reading your OP and you sya you don't have many qualifications? so no undergrad degree?

Will your career oath accept someone who has non standard qualifications of "just" a masters but not the alevels/degree they expect?

Else it may be better, career wise, to get an undergrad degree (open university if doing it part time) to open many more doors, not just the one to this particular career.

What recent experience of study do you have? I did a 2nd degree at 46 but could show i had done a GCSE a year before, so i was okay with putting the time/displine into something and could spend weekends studying.

The studying was fine, i enjoy Law. I can answer problem questions. But being able to write academically in their particular style is a struggle and not something they particularly teach (maybe it naturally follows on from current A levels). So that part is hard and writing 3000 word essays on "xyz said ABC, discuss" is hard to do, even if you know the topic well.

So yes, I'd struggle with going straight to a masters after nothing to build up to it.

Go for it! 100%. You will always regret it if you don't and you have no ties to hold you back. This might be the best opportunity you'll ever have to do it. You wouldn't have been offered the place if they didn't think you could do it. Good luck!

@whynotwhatknot

Id say go for it if you dont like then leave but you'll regret not giving it a try

Exactly what I was going to say.

If you don’t like it you can decide to leave. They wouldn’t have offered it if they didn’t think you were worthy.

If Cambridge has offered you a place they absolutely think you can do it. They don’t offer places to people they think might fail. So go - it will be life changing and will help you get rid of that imposter syndrome.