to ask you to help me make this life decision?

[Blinketyblink]

Hello MNers!

I'll try to keep this brief - would really value your opinions on this.

I have recently been offered a place on a masters course at Cambridge to study a subject I love and I cannot decide whether to go or not. This is not at all a humblebrag situation and I actually have some quite significant imposter syndrome which leads to me telling myself that I don't deserve the opportunity I've been presented with here (but that is another story).

So the backstory is that I am 31 - no children or partner at the moment, so relatively free of any significant commitments. I am not at all the stereotypical Cambridge 'type' - wasn't privately educated or anything like that, although I know they are trying to move away from all that now, and rightly so. I am the opposite in fact, and have come from quite a difficult background, both academically and in terms of my family life - I left school very early, with few qualifications at all and my home life as a child was pretty disastrous - including a brief stint in care.

I just don't know what to do and whether or not to go. Will it benefit my life in a significant / tangible way, both professionally and personally? Hard for you, as strangers to say, maybe. I am just concerned that I would be going for the wrong reasons - which are basically that I feel there is a huge void in my life and this feels like the only remotely positive thing in my future.

My career is not on track, at all! But I think that maybe it could be with this masters degree on my CV. And I have worked out that with a student loan I can scrape the money for the fees + living costs together.

What other things might I gain from doing a postgraduate degree at a good university like Cambridge? Am I too old? (I realise I am not old of course, but relative to the other twenty-something students there perhaps?).

The last 3 years have been extremely difficult and have included leaving an abusive relationship - it has taken me most of this time to recover.

Thank you for any advice - and please be kind as I am feeling a bit wobbly!

I did a Masters at the age of 29 in order to change career. It was beneficial and I'm glad I did it, but I also paid for most of it with some redundancy money, so didn't need to accrue much debt. I also couldn't hand on heart say I could not have achieved what I have done in my career without it. It's not a common qualification in the field I work in, though it probably helped me get started.

I think you have two questions to consider.

Firstly, is it beneficial to your future career prospects, including your salary - i.e. will it pay for itself eventually, or lead you to have a fulfilling career? Not all Masters are equal in terms of value.

The second is whether it will be beneficial to you as a person. It's expensive, no doubt, but could bring substantial benefits to your mental health and wellbeing. Do you REALLY want to do it? Does it excite you (nervousness aside)? You will meet new people from lots of different backgrounds and have new experiences which will shape you as a person.

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I would also perhaps say don’t worry too much about the after - if you’d love to do it, that’s reason enough.

Brilliant advice from @decemberdecember

FWIW I think post grad degrees are for the young and single. I know a lot of mid-lifers who abandon them because in combination with family, work, elderly parents etc it all becomes too much stress. But while you are young and childless, DO IT.

But there is a significant cost isn't there?

Masters at Cambridge is £20k ish (plus college fees)

Plus costs of living there for a year

Plus lack of your normal salary for a year.

All adds up.

Absolutely go for it, no hesitation just go and enjoy!!!

Cambridge aren't in the habit of giving out places out of sympathy. They wouldn't offer you a place if they didn't think you were capable. Grab the opportunity!

@burnoutbabe — not all — some are 10/11k, including college fees. And you have to consider that Cambridge (and the like) are generally considered to be higher quality institutions (rightly or wrongly).

I’d go for it if I were you.
It sounds like a fantastic opportunity. Both educationally and for general life experience if you live away from your home town.
I would hope you develop confidence from this and that will help with your career opportunities.

Getting a place on a Cambridge masters in the first place is really tough.

If you have been offered a place. And you want to do it.

Go for it

Masters and postgraduate are much more mixed age wise compared to undergraduate

Being a post grad and under grad is a v different experience. As a post grad you are unlikely to live in college, and you can do as much or as little of the posh stuff like formal halls as you want.

Career wise, the careers service is AMAZING. That is what Cambridge is, a machine to get you a job. Take full advantage of it.

Also the extracurricular stuff is pretty cool too, although if you want to get into footlights or the student newspapers you will be in the company of sharp elbowed pretty privileged kids.

It has become an expensive place to live, so do your sums. Also look out for the opportunity to do supervisions for undergrads a good way to build confidence and earn money. It may have changed but when I went this was the only permitted job for post grads.

So pleased you’re doing it! I’m 48 and not doing a course I wanted to do when I was 28 - because I thought then that I was too old and would look silly - is one of my biggest regrets. So much better to regret a yes than regret a no.

Grab this opportunity with both hands - Enjoy - congratulations on your offer.

I think you could say the consensus is DO IT!! Your life is stick and you need a change and some new challenges. If you don’t take this opportunity you will always regret it.

Hi lovely. Can tell you from my own experience of doing a postgraduate course at oxbridge that you should go for it. Postgraduates are always really lovely and they come from all over the world, which makes for a difference experience - everyone is so nice and friendly and most people didn't go to a private school (including me, I'm form a very humble background). Also, personally I think it's an incredible feeling to be able to study something you're passionate about and find like minded people who can spend hours chatting about their subject with you. Financially it is very expensive and cost of living is high, i have done a PhD and had some funding but still had to support myself by taking up a part time job and by tutoring. Can honestly say that doing a degree at oxbridge opens a lot of doors and allows you to make valuable connections and does help with getting a job later on. Not every job, but for example, I managed to land a pretty good job and negotiated good salary because I went to oxford - I think the company liked the idea of having an oxbridge graduate.

Congratulations of being offered a place and good luck x

Oh and there's plenty postgraduates of your age so I wouldn't worry about that at all, my best friend started her masters when she was 30, I have finished mine when I was 29 etc :)

Fantastic opportunity.

There will never be a better time in your life to do this. 100% go for it OP.

You must have thought you could do it when you applied!

Always do a pros and cons list, and see how your heart feels when one option wins - that’s your answer.

On a practical level, there are often pockets of funding available for people who have ever been in the care system. It’s worth investigating.

Do it!

If you love the subject, how it will look good on your CV is an added bonus. Do it!

Do it. Please, do it. What an opportunity and well done for all the work you have done to get there. Have a brilliant time.

Do it!

I would definitely take the opportunity to study at Cambridge. It's an amazing university (but does have it's own traditions which might seem a bit strange at first). Also, not all students have come from the public school system, especially at masters level. Congratulations! I don't think you'll regret it.

In terms of imposter syndrome - my friend did a part-time masters, without even having a first degree. To make matters worse, nearly all her fellow students were doctors. She was in her mid forties, working 30 hrs in a demanding job, and had 2 young teenagers. She did great.

When I've done big life decisions I have considered what's the likely best case scenario of decision 1? What's the likely worst case? Same for decision 2. Then think what scenario would be in the middle of best/worst and choose which would I prefer!

Another way to do it is imagine someone else told you you can't do the course and took the decision out of your hands, if you feel gutted you should go, if you feel a bit of quiet relief it's maybe not for you.

From the career side to see if it would help I would get the details for 4 recruiters for your industry, ring 2 with your current experience and 2 add your masters. See if the job options are different. Obviously this is caveated with there being tonnes of recruiters in your industry, if there are only a couple don't do this!

You've been accepted onto the course. You're capable of doing the course. Cambridge don't just let anyone in, you know!

Why did you even apply for the course in the first place? You must have had your reasons, beyond seeing if you could get in. Why did you want to study that subject? There was something driving you, even if you didn't want to admit it to yourself at the time. You have a reason for this - what is that reason?

Are you doing the degree solely because the subject interests you, or will it improve your job prospects? Is it relevant to the area in which you currently work, or hope to work?

How will you afford to live throughout this degree? Have you done the maths regarding what kind of financing you might get, and compared against your current outgoings and savings?

There's a lot to consider, but what doesn't change is you've been through a lot, you've survived it all, and you've been accepted to Cambridge. Whether you go or not, your life is back on track. You couldn't have got this offer if it wasn't. There are good things in store for you, and you deserve them all.

Enjoy the moment!