To feel that my sister is abusing the system?

[IdreamofClooney]

I have just had a fall out with my sister, I told her how I felt and she did not like it, I;ve apologised for upsetting her but I don;t want to apologise for how I feel......

She is doing an HNC at the moment and phoned me to tell me that she sat her "stupid" test (her words) which is a dyslexia test and that as a result she gets "freebies" (her words) a lap top, a scanner and an mp3 player to help her learning.

She was gloating about it. She then offered to sell me the lap top as she already has one. I said no as I didn;t feel comfortable with that. I said as it was public funds that paid for the lap top she shouldn;t accpet it if she doesn't need it - the funds should go to those who need it.

She is very angry with me and is saying that I am "judging" her and taht I have no right to take the moral high ground etc.

She asked if I woudl feel differnetly if she offered to give me the lap top - I wouldnlt have accpeted it - that is what I thought she was offering initially so was evenmore stunned when she tried to sell it.

What is ironic is that my sister lives on benefits (not affected by her college grant) and I work full time and I cannot afford a lap top and she now has two and is trying to sell me one.

Am I being unreasonable?

is she dyslexic?

how old is she?

But if she is dyslexic then why shouldn't she have things that help her to learn

are these things on loan?

if she is young and naive ,with no children then she might not realise the full impact of what she is saying / doing

if she is dyselxic and she needs these things then she needs them. it is not given out willy nilly, my DS is going through a huge barrage of tests and assesments to determine his needs due to dyslexia and other issues.

IME laptops etc are usually loaned

and i agree with Lulu with her not realising what she is saying

Yes she is mildy dyslexic - she asked for a test to be done as she knew she would get a free lap top. SHe got the highest score they had ever seen at the College as she is so intelligent. She turned down the other help such as a learning support tutor and extra time in exams - she was just after the "freebies". Perhaps I am just cynical as she is so intelligent and confident - she got an A in her higher English exam and I think 4 or 5 other good highers then asked to be tested for dyslexia now as she was aware of the free stuff. Just seems odd to me - do all studnets know about this? At the uni I work at many studnets donlt have thier own lap top at all.

She gets given it - it is not on loan she is free to sell it as she doen;s need it as she bought herself an i-book a few months ago.

What I am upset about is that she is trying to sell the free lap top to me.

it is a tricky situatiuon, she probably thinks you are just of her..

she sounds immature but not worth falling out with IMHO

I am pretty fed up with her - it is just so frustrating - I work full time and struggle financially. She can work 12 hours a week and still get full housing, Council Tax and other benfits which include a free bus pass and free prescriptions etc, lives in a flat with other girls her age - another couple of them claim housing benefit while working part time and have their parents pay thier rent!! they all have lap tops and wire free internet, i-pods, and are out eating and drinking all the time. It just doesn't add up as far as I can see. I wouldnlt say I was jealous - it just seems that she knows how to get what she wants out of the system and manages to have a very nice life thank you then tried to sell me her free stuff to make a profit

Sigh

Message withdrawn

I don't think that it is worth falling out over and I have apologised for upsetting her but I just think that what she is doing is not fair, I'm all for people who need support getting it but if you met my sister you would not think that she was unable to work or that she required any help.

I;ve said that I think we should agree to disagree on the issue and that she should sell the lap top on ebay but that I was not willing to be involved but she wonlt accpet that and is not talking to me

The Lap top and Mp3 player will help them with their course work - being able to type up essays and the mp3 player to record lectures etc.

how come they only award things like this for dyslexia and not having trouble with other subjects in education.
i mean i was rubbish at maths in school but that was just accepted as me being bad at maths as the numbers and formulas didn't make sense to me. but i was great at english but others who had trouble with reading and spelling ( a fundamental part of english) got dispensations and weren't marked down for spelling mistakes and even got additional points in their leaving.that felt to me like they were levelling the playing field in one subject but not in others.
i'm not saying this to incite it is more to point out my own ignorance and hope that someone can explain why society/the education system offers a helping hand to students in one subject and not another?

dyslexia does not just affect english as a subjcect though.. you can have discalculia.. which is numerical dyslexia

also, the laptop and other study aids are for all subjects , not just english. dyslexia affects a lot more than the ability to read and write. if you have dyslexia, it is a learning difficulty that makes learning every subject difficult.

dyslexia is not subject based it is a far reaching thing.

My elder daughter is slightly dyslexic. When she left for university at 18 I remember us looking into the free lap top thing. I think we weren't eligble on financial grounds and I bought her a lap top for her 18th anyway but it's certainly the case. BUT so many students with dyslexia do need one. I don't think it's wrong to make them available. But I can see why you find it annoying she doesn't work and gets all these things free.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a dyslexic person being given a laptop for free if it means they have guaranteed access to PC help (as opposed to relying on communal PCs, libraries etc) so they can manage their studies.

But, dsylexic or not, the fact remains that in this case, she already had a laptop and therefore did not need another one - as proven by her trying to sell it and make a fast buck. IDOC is quite right to feel aggrieved that her sister is taking advantage.

Are dyslexia sufferers not supposed to have a conscience or something, or are they somehow excused having morals ? ..... of course not, and her dyslexia has nothing to do with her crass behaviour and can't be used as a defence.

Any reasonable person having taken their test would have said "thanks but no thanks I already have one" regarding the laptop and taken only the things she genuinely needed. That way, said laptop would have gone back into the pool to help someone else.

"you can have discalculia.. which is numerical dyslexia"

really?never knew that.learn something new everyday.
i don't think she's abusing the system if she is actually dyslexic then she is entitled to it. the same way that rich people are entitled to claim childrens allowance even though they don't necessarily need the extra cash to raise the child.