Buy your own fucking cards

[theheartofthematter]

My 'D'P sent me a message at 7pm ish to ask if I will get his dad a Father's Day card tomorrow and post it because he won't have time. He is helping with a house move tomorrow so is busy. Fair enough but he doesn't have a fucking job (currently taking a stupidly ridiculously relaxed approach to starting his own business). He spends all day watching tv with the occasional look at a laptop. Why the fuck couldn't he have bought a card on any of the days he has sat on his arse for the last month or so that they have been in the shops. I am working tomorrow by the way so it's not like I'm not already busy. What a twat

If he asked, you could say no if it's inconvenient for you too.

So don’t buy the card.... he needs to learn to take responsibility for himself.

Has he heard of Moonpig?

Does he have any redeeming features?

Tell him to go on Moonpig! Grr.

Reply to him with a link to Moonpig or similar. Do not run around after this man-child.

Yep. Tell him to use moonpig or funkypigeon.

Just say no. How hard would that be?

So tell him….

Reply with this…

I told him and then my DD was going to be dragged in so I bought one from the corner shop and have said he has to write and post it himself. Not many redeeming features right now to be honest. I am so over him/my life

No that's lazy as shut and I'm not prepared to take it on. Dhs mum bloody does, she still book his doctors appointments for fucks sake.

I would have told.him to get one from funky pigeon.

'Oh dear, what a shame. Better luck next time.'

As others have said, lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. I have this drummed into both my OH and my colleagues.

If it happened all the time it would piss me off but as a one off I would help.

Telling him to use moonpig, funky pigeon etc = doing his thinking for him as well.

So what have your taught your DD by buying the card? I do get it, but I'm so tired of hearing women always having to pick up the slack.

So what was he doing tonight? Supermarkets are open late and they sell cards.

My ex asked me to get a Father’s Day one year band my reply was don’t think he’ll be that bothered as my Dads been dead 10 years!! Tell him to get it himself as it’s his Dad

What did it have to do with your daughter? And op is right - your actions are showing her how a relationship should be.

"Sorry, can't, busy working." ?? He can do it online in minutes, he's just being lazy.

He was going to ask my DD to pop to the shop to buy it if I couldn't. He is on a course this evening which is why he hasn't gone tonight. I'm so fed up of him thinking I have nothing better to do. I'm my opinion, and I will tell him, it is more hurtful to his dad if I write the card than if he doesn't send one. It's almost underlying to his dad he couldn't be arsed if I write it

@IveNameChangedAgain2020

So what have your taught your DD by buying the card? I do get it, but I'm so tired of hearing women always having to pick up the slack.

This 👆

Another woman tied to some loser and showing her child that this is how to be treated.

You could have just said no and DD wasn’t going to do it, either. I understand your frustration but you did what he wanted. Alas the cycle continues and he doesn’t have to change. Why would he? You cave and do it for him, anyway.

And all this nonsense about you writing the card being worse is just you trying to cling on to some sort of feeling of ownership over the situation.

You need to start asserting yourself rather than trying to come up with ways that no one other than you notice to be slighting your husband.

What’s the chances here that you sort out Christmas gifts and cards for his side of the family, too? This is the year to say no. If his family get nothing more than a garage card and a box of Dairy Milk then that’s his issue and his issue alone.

Stop mothering him and enabling him. Stand up for yourself and know your worth.