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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Buy your own fucking cards

79 replies

theheartofthematter · 17/06/2021 20:13

My 'D'P sent me a message at 7pm ish to ask if I will get his dad a Father's Day card tomorrow and post it because he won't have time. He is helping with a house move tomorrow so is busy. Fair enough but he doesn't have a fucking job (currently taking a stupidly ridiculously relaxed approach to starting his own business). He spends all day watching tv with the occasional look at a laptop. Why the fuck couldn't he have bought a card on any of the days he has sat on his arse for the last month or so that they have been in the shops. I am working tomorrow by the way so it's not like I'm not already busy. What a twat

OP posts:
StuffinThePuffin · 18/06/2021 08:14

As an isolated incident I think it's fine to ask your partner to do something like this for you. We've all been forgotten things and made organisational mistakes at some point and the nice thing about having a partner is that you are a team, so you can bail each other out where possible. The key here is that you both do it for each other. It's not one sided.

It sounds like there is a whole heap of shit going on here. I would be fucking furious in your shoes. No way would I be running around after this man.

Annehedonia · 18/06/2021 08:15

the sky didn't fall on our heads.

Exactly, what's the worst that can happen?!

SpeakingFranglais · 18/06/2021 08:18

@Howshouldibehave

Reply with this…
Brilliant! Love it
C8H10N4O2 · 18/06/2021 08:20

He spends all day watching tv with the occasional look at a laptop

So not starting a business at all, just dicking around lying to you to justify dicking around?

Please don't model to your DD that this is behaviour she has to go along with to keep the peace.

cookiecreampie · 18/06/2021 08:21

I can't see how this is a big deal. If he's always asking you to do stuff for him, fair enough I see your point. But he's your partner, surely you both do things for each other? Does he never do anything for you?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/06/2021 08:25

So you should have told him what you said in your OP and told your dd not to buy one either. She should be taught now how to say no to useless men.

NatWestPigFamily · 18/06/2021 08:28

I stopped buying any cards for DH’s family after one xmas when all his family cards had been bought, written and posted by me. Asked him to post my family cards on the way to work and he “didn’t have time” I completely lost my shit and told him in future to sort them himself. Now his family rarely get cards and they have given up asking me where their cards are as I say to ask DH. I would help him out if he had genuinely been busy though.

Shoxfordian · 18/06/2021 08:32

If you’re over him then end the relationship

Don’t know why you bought the card either

QuimKardashian · 18/06/2021 08:36

@theheartofthematter just out of interest, did your daughter buy him her own Fathers Day card???

nimbuscloud · 18/06/2021 08:36

Does he pay his way?
Am guessing not ..

Cowbells · 18/06/2021 08:50

@Gingerwhinger01

I think your focus should be on him getting a job, or to work on his business. The card is a red herring.
I think that should be his focus. OP has her own life and goals to focus on.
Toebean · 18/06/2021 08:51

Don’t do it, man child can either step up or no

motogogo · 18/06/2021 08:52

Moonpig, deadline is 12pm

Newkitchen123 · 18/06/2021 09:02

I tend to sort the cards for both sides of the family but my husband isn't a lazy manchild and does plenty round the house, has a job and he does things for me without me even asking.

spacegirl123 · 18/06/2021 09:03

lmgtfy.app/?q=moonpig

Cloverleaf20 · 18/06/2021 09:08

Sounds like this relationship has run it’s course, hardly a third world problem !

dayslikethese1 · 18/06/2021 09:19

I told DP early on that I wasn't taking on all the family wifework like buying cards for his family etc. Result of which is his family never get anything. Not my fault though.

Gingerwhinger01 · 18/06/2021 09:20

I think that should be his focus. OP has her own life and goals to focus on.
Yes, but she's presently focused on a card and ignoring the real issue.

FuckyouCovid21 · 18/06/2021 09:21

@Cloverleaf20

Sounds like this relationship has run it’s course, hardly a third world problem !
Nice, very supportive
squishymamma · 18/06/2021 09:41

Sell the TV and tell him he can buy a new one with his first wage Grin

(totally agree with others, this sounds more like the straw that broke the camel's back than being just about the card...)

catless · 18/06/2021 09:44

I'd have just 'forgotten'.

Motnight · 18/06/2021 09:46

@dayslikethese1

I told DP early on that I wasn't taking on all the family wifework like buying cards for his family etc. Result of which is his family never get anything. Not my fault though.
Exactly as @dayslikethese1 has said. My MIL used to phone me to remind me to send cards to DH's relatives and I always just said tell him. One year she bought me one of those birthday books and had written in all her family's dates. I thanked her and handed it straight over to DH. It was never looked at again.
Boo2012 · 18/06/2021 09:49

I get your frustration. Dp is useless when it comes to things like this. He has no idea when his mums or siblings birthdays are so I note them down and buy cards - he always writes and sends them though. I won't do that much 😂 I've even got to remind him to buy me a Mother's Day cards and for my birthday. He's just got a memory like a sieve!

Whyhello · 18/06/2021 09:51

Why can’t he sort a Moonpig card out like everyone else does? Lazy git.

Bananalanacake · 18/06/2021 09:56

How does he pay towards bills, mortgage if he isn't earning anything, I'm assuming you live together.