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AIBU?

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Original poster

Buy your own fucking cards

79 replies

theheartofthematter · 17/06/2021 20:13

My 'D'P sent me a message at 7pm ish to ask if I will get his dad a Father's Day card tomorrow and post it because he won't have time. He is helping with a house move tomorrow so is busy. Fair enough but he doesn't have a fucking job (currently taking a stupidly ridiculously relaxed approach to starting his own business). He spends all day watching tv with the occasional look at a laptop. Why the fuck couldn't he have bought a card on any of the days he has sat on his arse for the last month or so that they have been in the shops. I am working tomorrow by the way so it's not like I'm not already busy. What a twat

OP posts:
kazzer2867 · 17/06/2021 22:20

@osbertthesyrianhamster

Another woman tied to some loser and showing her child that this is how to be treated.
This 100%.
Classica · 17/06/2021 22:23

His wants you to write a father day message on his behalf in the card?

Aww, his dad will be so touched when he recognises the writing as not being from his son.

SRS29 · 17/06/2021 22:56

@osbertthesyrianhamster

Another woman tied to some loser and showing her child that this is how to be treated.
This...again Sad
PacifyLulu · 18/06/2021 04:50

OP your last post focussed on how hurtful it it to his dad. What about you? How hurtful is it to you?

If it was a one off and there was balance in the relationship then ok but otherwise please find your rage at this treatment.

Longdistance · 18/06/2021 05:29

SMH. What are you doing? Wife work. Lord Bollocks sitting on his arse barking out orders. Contributing fuck all. This just gives me the rage 😤

Covetthee · 18/06/2021 06:15

He did this because you are enabling him and probably have been for a while, if man baby’s think they can get away with this shit then they will try and most of the time women will let them and then complain about it.

It takes less time to do a card online than for you to to go shops and write and post, and if the lazy idiot couldnt be bothered to do that then he could explain to his dad why he didnt get a card.

You could have put your foot down in your dd getting involved as well.

sorry OP not a dig at you but it makes me so angry to see women being walked over and enabling idiots like this all the time. You’re also teaching your daughter to put up with this kind of crap

TatianaBis · 18/06/2021 06:16

Why would you do it like a good slave?

Btw no-one ever set up a business in front of the TV.

cliffdiver · 18/06/2021 06:20

He's incapable of behaving like an adult so I'd give him some card and paint and tell him to make one.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 18/06/2021 06:25

I bought 5 Father’s Day cards whilst in Asda the other day because they were right there when I walked in. DH usually organises one for his dad using Moonpig or similar but we have so little money at the moment (I’m on maternity leave) that buying a cheaper card from a supermarket was necessary. In previous years though, he’ll buy the cards for my dad too if he sees one he thinks he’d like. It’s not a wife job to him (anymore! I drummed that into him pretty damn quick!).

Your DP on the other hand sounds incredibly lazy and I’d find that deeply unattractive.

DinosaurDiana · 18/06/2021 06:58

I used to buy and send all his family’s cards when he was working.
He can do it himself now.

DrDreReturns · 18/06/2021 07:05

I'm a bloke with a job. I sent my Dad his Father's day card on Tuesday, its not hard. Your guy is a loser.

standupsitdownturnaround · 18/06/2021 07:07

Sorry OP but the fact that you ended up doing it is the answer to why he asked!

Family cards are often seen as the woman's job and fair enough, without any critical thinking he probably assumes. You've got to teach him you won't do it.

How old is your daughter? Why didn't you want her to go to the shop? She should've said yes she'd do it for a fiver! She's running him a personal errand, it's not a household chore.

Honestly I think you need boundaries.

I would've said no, don't rely on me I won't remember and walked away so the conversation is over.

Temp023 · 18/06/2021 07:07

Oh fuck, it’s Fathers Day on Sunday, thanks for the reminder.

steff13 · 18/06/2021 07:17

Howshouldibehave that was one of my dad's favorite sayings. ❤️

whatswithtodaytoday · 18/06/2021 07:19

Stop doing things for him that he not only can, but should do for himself. I only buy cards for my partner's family if I happen to see one I think they'll like - it's his responsibility to actually remember.

MadeOfStarStuff · 18/06/2021 07:35

Stop enabling the selfish wank stain! He keeps doing it because you keep falling for this bullshit so it clearly works for him.

Faevern · 18/06/2021 07:41

@Howshouldibehave I love that

@osbertthesyrianhamster so true

Really the stance should be no and DD will not either, and mean it.
It is his responsibility not to hurt his dad.

I would be well pissed off if I thought my DiL was having to buy me a card out of duty because my son couldn’t be bothered.

Supermarkets are open 24 / 7 so why can’t he go?

PinkG0ld · 18/06/2021 07:49

Why doesn’t he have a job? Or at the very least actively searching and applying for jobs everyday? Why are you with this lazy loser?

Annehedonia · 18/06/2021 07:52

I used to sort all the Christmas presents for both sides of the family (mainly because I enjoyed it, I was never asked to).

Then I got fed up with it all so left it to him to sort his family.

Reader, he did.

HollowTalk · 18/06/2021 07:54

A relaxed attitude to starting his own business guarantees that the business will fail. Most do fail in the first year but as he is a lazy entitled man his is guaranteed to fail. I would want to break free financially before that happened.

Confusedandshaken · 18/06/2021 07:56

@theheartofthematter

My 'D'P sent me a message at 7pm ish to ask if I will get his dad a Father's Day card tomorrow and post it because he won't have time. He is helping with a house move tomorrow so is busy. Fair enough but he doesn't have a fucking job (currently taking a stupidly ridiculously relaxed approach to starting his own business). He spends all day watching tv with the occasional look at a laptop. Why the fuck couldn't he have bought a card on any of the days he has sat on his arse for the last month or so that they have been in the shops. I am working tomorrow by the way so it's not like I'm not already busy. What a twat
Text back what you've told is, you are working and won't have time, he'll have to do it himself. When it's done make a joke of it 'I can't believe you expected me to buy a card for your dad! I'm not your bloody PA!'
Confusedandshaken · 18/06/2021 07:57

@Annehedonia

I used to sort all the Christmas presents for both sides of the family (mainly because I enjoyed it, I was never asked to).

Then I got fed up with it all so left it to him to sort his family.

Reader, he did.

In my case - Reader, he didn't, but the sky didn't fall on our heads.
ChiefInspectorParker · 18/06/2021 07:58

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Roselilly36 · 18/06/2021 08:08

Yes I get how you feel, lots of men seem to think it’s perfectly acceptable to put this duty on a partner. Not happening anymore in my house, DH is well aware should he want to send cards he buys them, writes them & can post them himself. Washing me hands of all that responsibility. Huge back story here, as you may have guessed from my post!

Gingerwhinger01 · 18/06/2021 08:11

I think your focus should be on him getting a job, or to work on his business. The card is a red herring.