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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photos in the park.

249 replies

Percyfish3rd · 17/06/2021 16:15

I recently took my 3 year old granddaughter to the park, and took some photos of her on the slide. As we were leaving a woman said "excuse me, I saw you taking some photos, of that little girl. My daughter was in some of them 8n the background. 8 want you to delete the photos. If you don't I' ll call the police, it's illegal to take photos of other peoples children". I pointed out to her it wasn't illegal, and I'd rather keep the photos. Her husband then joined us, and said as I was using a " professional camera" (there is no such thing) he would shove it into a part of my anatomy I won't mention. I decided to delete them, after all they would be easy enough to recover at home, but how many people would have done the same thing as this couple, even though the photos weren't specifically of their child?

OP posts:
SofiaMichelle · 17/06/2021 18:04

@Amichelle84

If other kids were in the background then they have every right to ask you to delete them, and you should respect that.
They have no fucking 'right' whatsoever.
IronTeeth · 17/06/2021 18:05

@Amichelle84

If other kids were in the background then they have every right to ask you to delete them, and you should respect that.
No they really dont
khakiandcoral · 17/06/2021 18:06

No one wants or care about other children "in the background". These people were stupid. What great parenting to start insulting a random person in the park in front of the kids too! Maybe they were drunk?

Vikingintraining · 17/06/2021 18:06

It's actually not illegal to take photos with other people in. If they had approached me like this I would have said that I wasn't going to share any photos they would just be for me to keep, but that I would check through the photos at home and delete any where their child was obviously visible.

starfishmummy · 17/06/2021 18:06

If they were that bothered they shouldn't have waited until you finished, but said something while you had a chance to make sure their dd was not in shot.

arithanaggerton · 17/06/2021 18:06

They are batshit. I'd have deleted them to avoid confrontation and then recovered them at home.

How self-important of them. If you were a weird person stood alone with no children I'd have understood their concern but you were clearly taking pictures of a child that was with you.

funinthesun19 · 17/06/2021 18:06

I bet they have quite a few photos of their daughter in public places and there are other people’s children in the background.

Not having it that they haven’t.

MurielSpriggs · 17/06/2021 18:07

No need to delete the photos.

arithanaggerton · 17/06/2021 18:09

Everybody on this thread is probably in the background of some random's family photo, and we've all lived. There is no law or legislation on it in public places, it's absolutely enenforcable.

BruceAndNosh · 17/06/2021 18:09

If it was a "professional camera" it's unlikely that their child would have been in focus if the OP was focusing on their DGD unless random child was mugging over her shoulder

arithanaggerton · 17/06/2021 18:10

*unenforceable

doubleshotespresso · 17/06/2021 18:11

@Amichelle84

If other kids were in the background then they have every right to ask you to delete them, and you should respect that.
This 100% this.
phoenixrosehere · 17/06/2021 18:14

If I take photos of my kids in the park I make the effort to make sure there are no other kids in the background as some people are sensitive about it and I don't want them in the photo.

Same. I usually go to the park when it’s not busy or do close ups so it’s just them in the pic. I rather not have any pics with other children in them anyway unless it’s for school or clubs.

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2021 18:15

@Amichelle84

If other kids were in the background then they have every right to ask you to delete them, and you should respect that.
If other kids were in the background then they have every right to ask you to delete them, and you should respect that.

"excuse me, I saw you taking some photos, of that little girl. My daughter was in some of them 8n the background. 8 want you to delete the photos. If you don't I' ll call the police, it's illegal to take photos of other peoples children".

Nah, ^^ that's where she went wrong if she expected any respect or co-operation from the OP.

arithanaggerton · 17/06/2021 18:16

The father sounds like a proper delight as well Hmm

markmichelle · 17/06/2021 18:16

What nonsense about nothing. It really doesn't mater if other people are in the background of any picture.
Why do some here think they have some entitlement to privacy?
Are they royalty?

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 17/06/2021 18:16

There can be genuine safeguarding issues here. The other parent doesn’t know if your photos will be shared on SM. If the other child is adopted then there is a chance that some brith family might see them and be able to locate them from your photo. Or a parent who has escaped from domestic violence might not want their child’s image to appear in a recognisable place, in case the violent parent or someone who knows them sees it. You could unwittingly bring someone’s life crashing down around them, or even worse lead to a threat to their safety.

The polite thing to do if someone expresses such a concern is to delete the photo and take another without any other children in it. The other people involved in this particular incident behaved horribly and in all probability were just arseholes, but someone else might react badly to the same situation out of genuine fear and stress.

Aprilx · 17/06/2021 18:18

I do everything I can to avoid capturing children or anyone in my photos, as I would consider their presence as something that is spoiling my photos. But it is not always possible and I am sure I have loads of photos with other people in.

I would not delete my photos if asked, I would not want to lose the photos which I took for my own memories. If I had been spoken to like that and threatened with the police, I would have walked over to the nearest bench and said I will sit and wait here whilst you call them.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/06/2021 18:21

They have every right to ask, @doubleshotespresso - but as it was in a public place, they had no right to insist, and certainly no right to behave in a threatening fashion.

Original poster
Percyfish3rd · 17/06/2021 18:23

If they HAD been more courteous I would have let them see the photos, and if their child was clearly in the photos, then I probably would have deleted those frames. However, their insinuation wad I was purposely filming THEIR child. Also to be accused of the old "professional camera" rubbish, while others were taking photos on their phones irked me. However, as "deleting" the photos does no such thing, and rather than causing more of a scene in front of my granddaughter, I did as they asked, then recovered the photos at home. Funnily enough, their child was only even partly visible in one photo!

OP posts:
Bibidy · 17/06/2021 18:24

Tbh I think it's weird that the parents wouldn't just move their child out of the way when they noticed you taking pics, if it's that important to you. Or even approach you at the time you were taking them to ask that you're careful to make sure their child isn't in the background.

They were very rude when there was no need.

khakiandcoral · 17/06/2021 18:25

good on you OP!

Take the "pro camera" as a compliment!

People using their camera are probably putting the photos live on social media, that's the funniest thing Grin

CuriousaboutSamphire · 17/06/2021 18:25

@Percyfish3rd

If they HAD been more courteous I would have let them see the photos, and if their child was clearly in the photos, then I probably would have deleted those frames. However, their insinuation wad I was purposely filming THEIR child. Also to be accused of the old "professional camera" rubbish, while others were taking photos on their phones irked me. However, as "deleting" the photos does no such thing, and rather than causing more of a scene in front of my granddaughter, I did as they asked, then recovered the photos at home. Funnily enough, their child was only even partly visible in one photo!
Good for you.!

I was going to suggest a good recovery app

cansu · 17/06/2021 18:25

The longer you are on mumsnet, the more you realise how batshit many people are. OP you were not in the wrong, they were being ridiculous but the threatening beh tells you all you need to know about them.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 17/06/2021 18:27

The polite thing to do if someone expresses such a concern is to delete the photo and take another without any other children in it.

They only spoke up at the end of the OP's visit to the playground. They cornered the OP when she was leaving. Therefore she didn't really have a chance to take any more pictures of her DGD. So I would have told them to get lost. If it mattered so much to them, they should have said something when the OP started taking photos, rather than demanding she delete all her photos at the end of her visit when she and her DGD were leaving.