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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photos in the park.

249 replies

Percyfish3rd · 17/06/2021 16:15

I recently took my 3 year old granddaughter to the park, and took some photos of her on the slide. As we were leaving a woman said "excuse me, I saw you taking some photos, of that little girl. My daughter was in some of them 8n the background. 8 want you to delete the photos. If you don't I' ll call the police, it's illegal to take photos of other peoples children". I pointed out to her it wasn't illegal, and I'd rather keep the photos. Her husband then joined us, and said as I was using a " professional camera" (there is no such thing) he would shove it into a part of my anatomy I won't mention. I decided to delete them, after all they would be easy enough to recover at home, but how many people would have done the same thing as this couple, even though the photos weren't specifically of their child?

OP posts:
RRK593 · 17/06/2021 16:32

I would have deleted them - even worse would probably have been one of the parents who (politely albeit) asked you to delete them! I've been on too many child safeguarding courses and meetings to not know the dangers (rightly or wrongly!)

shouldistop · 17/06/2021 16:33

If someone asked me to delete a picture with their child in it then I would without question. They were being unreasonable saying it's illegal and the man was disgusting threatening you.

AngeloMysterioso · 17/06/2021 16:34

There’s no reasonable expectation of privacy in a public park

LolaSmiles · 17/06/2021 16:36

They were in a public place and you were taking photos of YOUR grandchild.

I'd have probably have deleted them if they'd asked nicely and offered to keep their DC out the way for a few minutes so I could take some of DGC on the slide.
The fact they started throwing their weight around making stupid legal claims, followed by being aggressive would make me less inclined to. Bullies are bullies and they go through life expecting their own way because they rely on everyone rolling over. They're horrible people.

PurpleDaisies
I've also spent a lot of time with children in in positions. None of the adults I've worked with who have children who can't be photographed would be bullying strangers in a public area and making incorrect claims about the law though.

MaMaD1990 · 17/06/2021 16:36

There's a difference between taking photos of children that aren't yours and taking photos of your GC with a child in the background. I don't think you did anything wrong but it is a reasonable request for them to make - on the other hand, I would've moved my kid out the way if I saw you taking photos of your GC and my DD was photo bombing accidentally. Some consideration on both sides wouldn't go a miss I think.

quizqueen · 17/06/2021 16:38

Any threatening behaviour, in private or public, should be logged with the police.

Deadleaf29 · 17/06/2021 16:38

I think they’re being ridiculous and rude and I’d probably react similarly to such an approach. But if they’d asked nicely and if their child is clearly identifiable in your photos then the I think the right thing to do is delete them. For all you know their child is at risk in some way. For all they know you’re going to put them all over Facebook tagging the time and location. If she’s a speck in the background or you can only see the back of her head that’s another story.

I try to stop my kids photobombing other people (assuming they’re being sensible about it and not monopolising the slide for twenty minutes playing at pro photo shooting) but I’m relaxed if they’re in the background of someone’s photos. I wouldn’t ask you to delete, but I completely understand why some people might. I’ve only once asked someone to stop photographing around my kids, but it was a public pool/kids splash park, with a clear no photography rule and he seemed to me to be trying to get as many kids in shot as possible as well as the one he was with. Lifeguards stood over him while he deleted them and told him he’d be barred if he tried using his phone/camera there again.

twelly · 17/06/2021 16:40

I think they were in the wrong - the subject of the photo was your GC, when you are on holiday, outside in a public place often members of the public are in the background. I think they were rude and I would have problably deleted them faced with an aggressive confrontation - that does not mean they are right they were just rude and should not have been aggressive - in fact their behaviour could have warranted calling the police!

MissJeanBrodiesprime · 17/06/2021 16:43

I would have been tempted to not delete the photos due to their ridiculous accusation that it was a “professional camera”. Sounds like they didn’t really know what they were talking about, but also sounds like they were not the kind of people you’d want to mess with so I would have deleted them as you did just to avoid confrontation, you never know, they could have got violent. Sad but true. I can understand if some random person was taking pics of the kids but obviously you were photographing your own DC!

seashells11 · 17/06/2021 16:44

Photography laws are very clear. In a public place you can photograph anything the eye can see. The police wouldn't have done a thing. (as long as they know the law regarding photography) Hope that woman never takes her child to Disney, how would she cope with all those cameras. Hmm

MissJeanBrodiesprime · 17/06/2021 16:44

Sorry, your GC

GettingAlong · 17/06/2021 16:47

@PurpleDaisies

Maybe I have spent too much time with children who have very good reasons not to be photographed but I would have immediately deleted the photo and that would have been the end of it.
I agree with this 100%
Geamhradh · 17/06/2021 16:50

@LolaSmiles

They were in a public place and you were taking photos of YOUR grandchild.

I'd have probably have deleted them if they'd asked nicely and offered to keep their DC out the way for a few minutes so I could take some of DGC on the slide.
The fact they started throwing their weight around making stupid legal claims, followed by being aggressive would make me less inclined to. Bullies are bullies and they go through life expecting their own way because they rely on everyone rolling over. They're horrible people.

PurpleDaisies
I've also spent a lot of time with children in in positions. None of the adults I've worked with who have children who can't be photographed would be bullying strangers in a public area and making incorrect claims about the law though.

Quite.

OP, you were totally within your rights, and they were ridiculous and obnoxious. Any police officer they called would have laughed them (diplomatically) on their way.

Sorry you had a bad experience.

mumwon · 17/06/2021 16:52

if they walk round any town - cctv
& many parks & water parks have cctv
Anyone who physically threatens someone like this should have the police called on them - this is threatening assault & criminal damage
Be glad he isn't your next door neighbour

Gullible2021 · 17/06/2021 16:55

Jeez, I hope they never go to a theme park. There's hundreds of people in the backgrounds of my childhood Disney pictures.

What you did wasn't illegal so the police would have done absolutely nothing whatsoever.

If they were that precious and overprotective, they should have called their daughter away from the slide when they saw you were taking pictures of your grandchild.

Slightly different as you were on an actual camera rather than a phone, but if I'd have been in this position and on a phone, I would havs said "no I'm not going to delete my pictures of my grandchild but I'm happy to let you see me cropping your child out or blurring their faces (if cropping out wasn't possible). You can stay with me while I do it."

Gullible2021 · 17/06/2021 16:56

Sorry cross posted with you there seashells!

IronTeeth · 17/06/2021 16:58

@PurpleDaisies

You should have deleted the photos when they asked.
Why?
motogogo · 17/06/2021 16:58

It's common courtesy not to take photos of other peoples children. Some have very good reason for photos not to be taken and shared even in the background. She sounds like she didn't go about it the right way but her request is possibly with good reason.

PurpleDaisies · 17/06/2021 16:58

I’ve explained why I think that in plenty of posts on this thread @IronTeeth

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2021 17:00

@PurpleDaisies

You should have deleted the photos when they asked.
Well I fucking wouldn't.

They sound like a pair of rude, entitled twats.

WitchDancer · 17/06/2021 17:00

You did nothing wrong with taking the photos. It was a public place and if they didn't want the child in your photos (maybe the child was a foster child?) they should have moved them out of shot.

helpfulperson · 17/06/2021 17:00

News footage, you tube videos, stock photos etc not to mention CCTV. Our images are everywhere. It isn't reasonable to have an expectation of privacy to that degree.

IronTeeth · 17/06/2021 17:02

@PurpleDaisies

Maybe I have spent too much time with children who have very good reasons not to be photographed but I would have immediately deleted the photo and that would have been the end of it.
well maybe if they had asked politely, instead of being arsy and incorrect, OP might have felt more inclined to.
rainyskylight · 17/06/2021 17:03

I’m apparently really naive because I’m not sure what reasons there are for why a child can never ever be accidentally photographed. Abduction?????

Geamhradh · 17/06/2021 17:05

@motogogo

It's common courtesy not to take photos of other peoples children. Some have very good reason for photos not to be taken and shared even in the background. She sounds like she didn't go about it the right way but her request is possibly with good reason.
She wasn't taking photos of other people's children. The other child's carer should have removed the child from the area if it bothered them that much. I'm deputy safeguarding lead and can confirm (as I'm sure Lola and others I recognize on this thread can) that for every child whose carers have a genuine reason, there's another 10 barking about "my rights". They rarely, if ever, understand what those rights are, and are the first to then gob off when we tell them they can't film Junior playing second aubergine on the left in the school play.