Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photos in the park.

249 replies

Percyfish3rd · 17/06/2021 16:15

I recently took my 3 year old granddaughter to the park, and took some photos of her on the slide. As we were leaving a woman said "excuse me, I saw you taking some photos, of that little girl. My daughter was in some of them 8n the background. 8 want you to delete the photos. If you don't I' ll call the police, it's illegal to take photos of other peoples children". I pointed out to her it wasn't illegal, and I'd rather keep the photos. Her husband then joined us, and said as I was using a " professional camera" (there is no such thing) he would shove it into a part of my anatomy I won't mention. I decided to delete them, after all they would be easy enough to recover at home, but how many people would have done the same thing as this couple, even though the photos weren't specifically of their child?

OP posts:
FangsForTheMemory · 17/06/2021 17:05

You should have called the police and told them the man threatened you.

I would have shown them the photos and asked which ones they wanted you to delete. However at the moment that's difficult because it would mean them getting very close to you.

PurpleDaisies · 17/06/2021 17:06

well maybe if they had asked politely, instead of being arsy and incorrect, OP might have felt more inclined to.

Nobody has said they were in the right, either legally or in their manner. But on key question the op asked at the start of the thread, I’m really surprised that so many people would refuse to delete photos with someone else’s child in them when asked to.

JJSS123 · 17/06/2021 17:08

Today 16:31 lydia93

when I take pics of dd in public places I generally try not to get other children/people in it. But sometimes it unavoidable. I find it quite ridiculous how some people think so highly of themselves that we would be staring at their child in a photo.

This is one of the most uneducated comments I have seen on here. I have to be careful with my child I can’t consent to photos anywhere I don’t post photos online or have social media profiles, it’s not about thinking highly of yourself it can be someone desperately trying to keep themselves and child safe. If a certain person ever found out where me and my child was or the places we visited especially a park which could be isolated, it could be a life or death situation. Please please bare this in mind

PurpleDaisies · 17/06/2021 17:09

She wasn't taking photos of other people's children.

Yes, I worded that badly. I meant photos with the other people’s child in them. I’ve tried to be clearer in other posts.

The other child's carer should have removed the child from the area if it bothered them that much.
This would have been a better solution, as would asking more politely for the photo to be deleted and not threatening to call the police.

Gullible2021 · 17/06/2021 17:10

@rainyskylight

I’m apparently really naive because I’m not sure what reasons there are for why a child can never ever be accidentally photographed. Abduction?????
The child/families safety.

If it's easy to identify where the child lives, goes to school etc when they might be under police protection, have fled domestic violence, be under a court order or being fostered, adopted and their location being known would endanger them.

However, I still think this particular instance is ridiculous. Not being in school pictures or hobby pictures etc fair enough.

But in the background queuing for a slide when the picture is clearly of another child and presumably is a bog standard playground slide like the thousand others in the country....

If the parents were so terrified and the child is so at risk, then they should have intervened earlier and moved their child as soon as they saw the camera out.

MrKlaw · 17/06/2021 17:11

I had this a couple of days ago - just walking in a big park, so not a playground or anything. Was taking random shots of some flowers wiht my phone to show my daughter when I got home. I carried on and did my usual lap of the park. When I got back to where I started from, a guy walked up and mentioned about taking a photo of them. I thought they meant 'would I take a photo of them' but then he clarified he wanted to know if I had been taking photos of them, and asked to see them.

It was just boring flowers which I happily showed him. They had a small child on a picnic rug about 200ft away and on the phone if they'd accidentally been in the background they'd have been maybe a tiny dot, but if they'd been visible I definitely think he'd have pushed me to delete them, or worse got angry for no reason.

Totally public park and no big telephoto lens

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 17/06/2021 17:11

I'd refuse to delete them - it's a public place, you are not expected to obtain permission from every person in that park in case they appear in the background. The photos were not intended for publication, only private use. I'm guessing a "professional camera" is a camera, as opposed to using a smartphone for photos; we still have one of those, still take photos of our son with it.

jellybeansforbreakfast · 17/06/2021 17:12

The 'logic' goes

Picture taken of child, fully dressed, walking, out in a public space = something illicit or dangerous.

That people imagine a snapshot of one child with another somewhere in the background is going to be flung around the globe by social media, leading to something untoward happening is in and of itself worrying.

I have fostered at risk kids who had to be protected from their family members and know how this thinking can come about. I might have asked you not to post a picture online if my child could be recognised, I wouldn't have allowed DH to threaten you.

The law is clear, as has been stated a few time in this thread. In public you do not own your own image. You can only object after someone has tried to make commercial gain from it! Just as someone does from a very nice picture of my house. His picture, he gets to make all the money he can from it. My house, sits on a public street. I can't complain - well I did to tell him he had the name of it spelled wrong.

ivfgottwins · 17/06/2021 17:13

To be honest I've always thought it common courtesy and an unspoken rule at the park or other public places to avoid having other people's children in the photos as much as possible. Scourge of camera phones I suppose that they can be whipped out to snap away at anytime anywhere

OP should have been more respectful of parents/children around them and the parents of the other child shouldn't have been such dicks about it

newbrother · 17/06/2021 17:14

I'm with PurpleDaisies - maybe it is because of the children and families I know, and my areas of expertise, but I would happily delete a photo of a child if asked.

Ookkaayy · 17/06/2021 17:15

Personally, if I am taking pictures and if there are children in the background or even close by I always ask permission from their parents. If they have requested for you to delete the pictures you should. I would hope if someone was taking pictures (and my child happen to be in them) they would ask me too. Especially as the world is really messed up!

copperpotsalot · 17/06/2021 17:16

Coming from this as a DV victim I can actually understand why they may have been worried and I would delete straight away when asked.

They handled it badly, obviously, but you should have just deleted. So YAbothBU

NamechangedGamechanged12 · 17/06/2021 17:17

There is no law in the UK stating that you can’t take photos in a public place including photos of other peoples children. Whilst the children are in a public place you do not need permission to photograph them. I do street photography. You did nothing wrong.

newbrother · 17/06/2021 17:17

@rainyskylight

I’m apparently really naive because I’m not sure what reasons there are for why a child can never ever be accidentally photographed. Abduction?????
My mind immediately went to children in the foster care system and children who have escaped abuse/neglect/no longer have contact with someone close but dangerous to them. Photos of children, even if they're in the background, can be used to track down a location. If a child has been placed in a different area, that's a dangerous situation to be in.
Roselilly36 · 17/06/2021 17:19

They could be many reasons why they asked for the photos to be deleted. Yes, they didn’t go about it the right way. Lesson learned make sure in future only your GC is photographed to avoid a similar incident.

DancesWithTortoises · 17/06/2021 17:20

They were wrong to say it was illegal. Of course it isn't.

I think you should contact the police - you were threatened in a public place. And maybe the police can tell them what the law is about photos.

Entitled bullies.

KeepingTrack · 17/06/2021 17:20

I have to say I’m laughing at the idea that you should never take a photo of a child that isn’t yours when taking random photos.

I mean what on Earth do you think happens when you are hols? Have you never had other people/children in the background too?
Or have you ever been to a tourist attraction/busy place and saw people taking photos. Do you think they all wo any one else in the background?

On thé other side, being threatening is not on. I’d say esp a man towards a woman (issue with size, strength and in the OP’s case maybe also age)

me4real · 17/06/2021 17:20

You could've reported him for threatening you. I've noticed that men seem to think threatening women they have disagreements with, ones they don't know, in public, men seem to think is more ok recently. Sad

There's no law against taking photos in a public place.

I maybe would've retaken the photos without her kid in the background as she asked you to, but you didn't do anything wrong. x

KeepingTrack · 17/06/2021 17:22

@Roselilly36

They could be many reasons why they asked for the photos to be deleted. Yes, they didn’t go about it the right way. Lesson learned make sure in future only your GC is photographed to avoid a similar incident.
I imagine anyone who has a good reason (eg DV etc…) would go on about it in a very different way and explain they are worried about x child due to their circumstances. Not go in about having to do it, it’s illegal and then using threat to get their own way.
me4real · 17/06/2021 17:22

I'm glad if you can recover the photos you took. As there was nothing wrong with them and it's not like you had some malign iintent or anything.

EssentialHummus · 17/06/2021 17:29

I imagine anyone who has a good reason (eg DV etc…) would go on about it in a very different way and explain they are worried about x child due to their circumstances.

This. The point at which the bloke said that he’d shove the camera up whatever part of your anatomy is the point at which I’d laugh and say no, and invite him to call the police.

PracticingPerson · 17/06/2021 17:30

I think the internet and widespread publishing of photos via social media is changing the etiquette in this area.

Yes it is legal to take photos of other people's children. You do not have to delete them.

However I don't think it is the done thing to take pictures with other people's children in them, really, any more.

If you are willing to handle the (small number of )incidences of conflict you will get, then of course you can carry on. But personally I do not take pictures of children without asking their parents, because I wouldn't want to annoy others and prefer to be asked myself.

Benjispruce3 · 17/06/2021 17:31

I wouldn’t have deleted. They are nuts.

InTheDrunkTank · 17/06/2021 17:32

If it was important for some reason that their child isn't in photos they could have moved the child away when they first saw you with your camera. If you'd already taken the photo they could have asked nicely and intimated that they had a sensible reason for not wanting the child photographed. They sound unhinged.

LittleTiger007 · 17/06/2021 17:32

Poor you OP that really sounds like a horrendous experience.

I can only assume that maybe they have like me, completed training to be a foster carer or similar. In the training we were told how in any given public space (beach, park etc) there are numerous paedophiles photographing children for nefarious reasons. Now… whilst this was a hideous and galling thing to learn … it does NOT mean that anyone has the right to be rude and aggressive to anyone they meet with a camera!