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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you regret your pets?

392 replies

LittleLottieChaos · 17/06/2021 13:28

I know there are regular threads on people regretting their children… but I’m interested to know, are people similarly regretful of their pets? I currently am looking after my old childhood cat - he’s an old gent now, poos/wees inside and randomly vomits after eating. He also has to be securely locked downstairs at night or he’ll come up and wake us all for food/drool on our heads.

After spending years thinking ‘yay I want a dog and a cat, in fact a whole menagerie’ now I’m thinking ‘no, I’ll just have my kids…’

YABU - I never tire of my animals

YANBU - I sort of regret them at times

OP posts:
DinosaurDiana · 17/06/2021 14:27

Don’t t regret my dog one bit but I am torn. I love my holidays but I’m not sure how much longer my elderly parents will be able to have her.
I’d love more dogs but it’s the holiday care that’s the problem

Suprima · 17/06/2021 14:28

I got my darling girlcat years ago when I was still studenty and living in a hovel. She’s aloof but very cuddly on her terms. I love the bones of her even if she can be a bit spicy.

However, fast forward to now- where I am a bit more grown up and settled relationship wise, it’s a bit shit that I can’t have any nice furniture should we redecorate with her claws.

We also have a holiday home which we could spend 6 weeks in over summer- but we can’t because I don’t want her in a cattery that long. My partner’s work is high security means that he is unsure about someone popping into see her- and I think 6 weeks is too long for her to be ‘alone’.

I love her so much, and regret is a strong word- but this does frustrate me Sad Those extra four weeks would be glorious if it wasn’t for a cat who sits on me for 5 minutes a day!

Cattenberg · 17/06/2021 14:28

I feel sorry for the cats mentioned on here who are hated despite not having done anything wrong! I can understand hating having to clean out litter trays or hoover hairy sofas, but hating the animals themselves seems a bit harsh.

I’ll admit that I found living with elderly, female cats a real chore, though. We’ve had two (at separate times) and both weed everywhere. It wasn’t mere incontinence as they would come indoors, wee on the carpet, then immediately go outside again!

username127879 · 17/06/2021 14:29

This is has really got me thinking because I am really struggling with my pets at the moment. They've gone from being a comfort and an enriching part of my life to being a drain on my mental health. It's since having my baby a year ago that the regret (is it regret though?) has started, they're just such an expense and take up so much energy that I really don't have.
Before anyone jumps on me they are very well looked after and they are loved and still part of my family , I'm just finding them hard. I would never rehome them despite my health though. None of this is their fault after all.

ImbarbaraB · 17/06/2021 14:30

I don’t regret my dog but I never imagined I would end up divorcing my exh and having to move far away to find new work meaning I hardly get to see him anymore

I don’t regret my first cat but he died at a young age and have missed him ever since

I have since had other cats and none have been quite like him and in some ways I regret them

Fundays12 · 17/06/2021 14:30

I love my cats one is 11 and the other 10 months. They are lovely natured and very gentle and well behaved cats. Although I have had cats that got ill as they got older and needed additional care. You really do need to think long and hard before getting an animal though as they are long term commitment.

Scbchl · 17/06/2021 14:30

My dog does my nut in with her barking at random people walking past but that's it.

Scbchl · 17/06/2021 14:31

Realisitcally tho, does everyone in your life not do your head in at some point?

MysteriousMonkey · 17/06/2021 14:31

Yes. I love my dog but he is old and refuses to listen to anyone anymore and does what he wants... And he's old and clearly achey and so I let it slide. Tbf despite training etc he was never obedient anyway, but now he's a pain in the arse... I think he's only got another 6 months to a year left though so am using all my patience.

Weirdfan · 17/06/2021 14:32

I regret getting my dogs, they're rescues and both have 'issues' and I overestimated my own ability to train/manage them. We're 7 years in and I think their lives are pretty good but my (and to some extent the whole family's) life is hugely restricted by what they can cope with. If I could go back I wouldn't have them and if I thought they were unhappy I would rehome them but as it stands I feel like I've made my bed and it would be worse for them (although probably better for me if I'm honest, despite the inevitable guilt) to rehome them at this point. I do love them and would miss them horribly but they are a huge amount of work and some days it feels like too much. Don't know if I feel better or worse for admitting that Confused

FrankButchersDickieBow · 17/06/2021 14:33

I love our dog. We've had her for almost 3 years, but sometimes I do hark back at the freedom we used to have pre-dog.

I would say it is more compromising having a pet, than a child.

But just looking at her now all snuggled up, snoring away, I wouldn't be without her.

DeedledeDee · 17/06/2021 14:33

@tadpole39

Yes, my elderly rescue cat lives in the back room. She is also a stranger to the litter tray and I can't have any sort furnishings or electrics on the floor. I'm waiting to reclaim my room at the moment it's fairly unusable and stinks of cat pee .
Have an elderly jack Russell who pees and poos everywhere. We line the room with puppy pads and replace as necessary. Helps a lot
Doodlebug71 · 17/06/2021 14:34

No. No regrets at all. We've adopted our cats from rescues over our 30+ years together. One died of kidney failure, another of old age. We miss them both terribly. The two we have now were already here when the old boy died. Wouldn't be without them.

SunshineCake · 17/06/2021 14:34

We have three cats and a dog which I absolutely do not regret. We have one fish left who I keep forgetting about and won't be replaced if he dies. I did slightly regret the guinea pigs as I felt we could have been better slaves to them but having had four we won't have more. I'll always have at least one dog and one cat.

Bluesheep8 · 17/06/2021 14:34

I regret getting my cat. She won't keep a collar on and kills about 3 birds a day. She's incredibly clingy and food obsessed and always purposely gets under my feet. I would never rehome her but yes I absolutely wish I'd not got her.

What you're describing here is just typical cat behaviour, I'm afraid.

thecatsthecats · 17/06/2021 14:35

I adore my delinquent kitties. When I wake at 5am with palpitations, one bites my ankles til I feed her (great way to jerk me out of whatever nightmare I was having to reality!) and the other curls up on my chest and purrs the fear away.

I have to say though, I prefer adopting oldies. My parents have kittens, and they just seem so exhausting. And I love the satisfaction of giving older beasties a retirement home - plus having a short pet break every few years.

Intothevoid3 · 17/06/2021 14:35

Love, love, love my pets. However, most have grown old and died and when ddog goes, I’ll wait a while and assess before getting a new one.
We got our pets whilst the children were young and so already tied down. They’ve left and so I’d quite like the freedom back pre kids and pets. Plus new situation so we need to re-evaluate whether we want pets now.
DH who was never a dog lover is now unconvinced we can live without one!

ArabellaScott · 17/06/2021 14:35

My cat says YANBU and we should never have got a dog.

mistermagpie · 17/06/2021 14:36

@Dozycuntlaters

God no, absolutely love my pets.

I have two cats, one really sociable, one a misog and a pup who can be a real knob head at times but I bloody adore her. And a 200 litre fish tank but I love having fishes too. A home isn't a home without pets, I wouldn't want to be without any of them.

I do feel sad that some folk go off their pets when they have kids, or when they get old and troublesome. I had a tabby cat who at 16 was incontinent. I just figured we had had the best year of her life, and it's just what happens when pets get old.

I feel the same. I have Bengal cats and am on a few Bengal cat groups on Facebook etc. Now, they are (or can be) a bit more high maintenance than the average moggy but I would expect anyone getting one to have done a bit of homework...

Anyway, there are absolutely loads who are up for rehoming simply because the owner has had a child and 'no longer has the time to dedicate to the cat'. I think it's such a shame and really irresponsible actually. I have had three cats and three children and never would I have considered rehoming the cats, I'm not even sure what message that would be sending the kids for one thing. It's like people get a 'fur baby' and then when they have a 'real baby' they just discard the animal and move on. I could never do that. Also, being brutally honest, my cats are way way less annoying than my children!

Furries · 17/06/2021 14:36

YABU - my only “regret” is the absolute heartbreak of having my best friend PTS last year.

NoraLuka · 17/06/2021 14:37

I love my cat and don't regret him, but he is only 4 so we haven't had the incontinence etc. yet. Although he does throw up sometimes and generally orders us about. My other cat died a few months ago after swallowing rat poison which was really horrible and I still miss her.

I didn't choose to have a dog but DP already had one when we met, I'm not a dog person but grew really attached to him over the years. His final couple of years were awful with poo in the house, gross suppurating wounds that needed cleaning, etc. Also 1000s of euros in vet bills but thinking back, I don't actually care about that. Neither of us are ready for another dog.

I regret DD2's hamster as she was pregnant when we bought her and so we ended up with a surprise litter that we couldn't give away. We now have 5 hamsters (separate cages or we'd be on about the 10th generation by now!). They are all looked after of course, but there is such a thing as too many hamsters Grin

Chickens... Don't regret them at all. They just go around the garden living their best lives and it makes me happy to watch them.

Confusedandshaken · 17/06/2021 14:38

@Overdueanamechange

I love my pets, but caring for elderly, incontinent pets is draining.
This. I loved my cats but as the got older they became very incontinent. The house smelled and carpets rotted. It was a relief when they died.
MizMoonshine · 17/06/2021 14:39

I kind of regret my cat.
I love her. She's great company.
But she's such a destructive arsehole.

I didn't mind her destroying the place when I was in a HA rented flat that I hated anyway. She scuffed a wall? I dealt with it. Pulled up the carpet? Put a mat on it.

Now we're moving into a lovely house I'm dreading having to make good after her.

ForgedInFire · 17/06/2021 14:39

I don't know if I regret my cat, I took him in when a family member was dying and I'm happy I did as his other options were a bit bleak. And family member died not worrying about his kitty. But I feel like I give a lot more to the relationship then I get back! He isn't very affectionate and it's a pain arranging care for him if we ever go away. And the expense of being a pet owner.
I always had cats growing up and I've had cats that I truly loved and think about years later. I'm fond of this cat but I don't have the same bond with him

lakesummer · 17/06/2021 14:39

My cat was hard work to look after at the end of his 17 years but I don't regret having had him at all.
I do have more freedom now certainly but if I could get him back young and healthy I would.

Our dog I don't really enjoy at all but my ds adores him without measure so I really can't regret him either. Although I will never have another dog.