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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you regret your pets?

392 replies

LittleLottieChaos · 17/06/2021 13:28

I know there are regular threads on people regretting their children… but I’m interested to know, are people similarly regretful of their pets? I currently am looking after my old childhood cat - he’s an old gent now, poos/wees inside and randomly vomits after eating. He also has to be securely locked downstairs at night or he’ll come up and wake us all for food/drool on our heads.

After spending years thinking ‘yay I want a dog and a cat, in fact a whole menagerie’ now I’m thinking ‘no, I’ll just have my kids…’

YABU - I never tire of my animals

YANBU - I sort of regret them at times

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 17/06/2021 14:12

Not at all - my life is immeasurably richer for all our cats, dog, guinea pigs, mice, ducks and bees!

Lightswitchesoffatnight · 17/06/2021 14:13

I love my dog so much and have no regrets. Anyone considering getting a pet needs a long hard think and a massive reality check.

TeamNegan · 17/06/2021 14:14

I adore my cats but sometimes I do think about how much easier my life would be if I didn’t have them. I have four and there are some health issues and they’re still young so there’s a long way ahead yet.

So I don’t regret them as such but for sure life would be easier (and cheaper…)

FayCarew · 17/06/2021 14:15

Absolutely not. My pet is my life.
YABU.

cultkid · 17/06/2021 14:15

Yepppp

Tara336 · 17/06/2021 14:17

@idontlikealdi I have exactly the same problem, my dog was diagnosed a few months ago and my life revolves around his injections. No one wants to dog sit him now as they are scared something might happen or do not want to inject him. He’s even having to come to our wedding in 2 weeks because no one will help. I love him but won’t get another dog when he’s gone because I can’t risk going through this again

wingsofsteel · 17/06/2021 14:17

YANBU

We always had dogs at home when I was a child and I always wanted to have at least 2 of my own. DH had never had pets and was really not keen, plus our work timetables and house weren't dog friendly so we were pet free for 20 years. A couple of years ago my work changed and DH relented so we got DDog. I love him to bits but I do miss being able to go out for a day/go on holiday etc where and when we wanted and without having to plan weeks in advance. DDog is a rescue who is not keen on strangers so that complicates things more. Unfortunately, DH is now more smitten with having a dog that I am and is adamant that he would not want to be without one now. I only have myself to blame.

LawrenceChaney22 · 17/06/2021 14:18

As much as she can be an absolute pain in the back side, I couldn't imagine not having my dog now. She feels like a part of the family and as much as her constant barks go right through me I think I'd oddly miss them Grin

adeleh · 17/06/2021 14:18

We lost our beautiful dog in October and miss her hugely. We will get another dog, I'm sure, but there is a part of me that likes the fresher air in the house and less mess . . . I've promised to take in my Dad's dog if anything happens to him, and she's very sweet but stinks, so I have mixed feelings about that.

ViceLikeBlip · 17/06/2021 14:18

I always say I regret getting my kids a pony. She's a walking vet bill, and she very much tolerates people rather than actually enjoying human company- she often seems kinda miserable, but I'm not sure what else I could do to make her happy! This actually has had quite a negative impact on my mental health (Fwiw she sees the vet often 🙄 and they always tell me she's perfectly comfortable and happy. I still feel guilty though)

BUT someone recently offered to buy her off me, with full knowledge of her health conditions and grumpy nature, and I turned them down! So I guess can't regret her that much 🤷‍♀️

And I know full well that I never could have understood how hard it is without having done it, so I wouldn't be better off if I'd never got her, because I'd always be pining after that childhood dream of having a pony!

Earwigworries · 17/06/2021 14:18

As my pets grew older I got the reality check that comes with the less pleasant side of things . Now they are all gone I’ve not got more despite requests for a puppy from DCs .

DramaAlpaca · 17/06/2021 14:18

I adore my animals, two dogs and a cat. DH and I have decided as we approach retirement that these three will be our last pets as we want to be able to travel and not have to worry about them. DS is at home atm but won't always be. The animals will get loved to bits until the end of their lives though, we adore them.

GingerbreadPlease · 17/06/2021 14:19

We have a dog, only regret is we didn't get 2 at the time.

corahallett · 17/06/2021 14:20

I don't for one minute regret Ddog, she is the absolute love of my life and I will be 100% committed to her until she's no longer with us.

I do wish however I'd been better prepared for what life with a reactive, anxious, territorial rescue dog would be like! She can't be in daycare/boarding with other dogs, can't go into kennels, is terrified of strangers, hates being left alone, and is difficult to walk because of her reactivity, so can only be handled by someone who really knows what they are doing! We rarely have visitors, we haven't been on a proper holiday since we've had her, and days out are limited to remote places where there are few other people or dogs. You can forget sitting in a busy pub garden or visiting the seaside with other dogs around!!

It's incredibly restrictive, and I am not the only person I know who lives like this, as I know a lot of other people with similar dogs through our behaviourist and the various training classes we have done and continue to do.

I really wish the possibility of 'ending up' with a dog like mine was something that was more widely known about, as then so many dogs like her wouldn't end up in rescue (sometimes more than once) for being 'difficult'. All pets need commitment, not just when they are cute and easy to look after - the tricky ones need and deserve love and patience too!

Camenbertsmuggler · 17/06/2021 14:21

I am with you with this, I love my cats but getting 3 was a bad decision. They are over 10 years old now and we have a toddler. The constant cleaning of hair, cat sick, pee, poo, and dead mice is really getting me down.

I will be devastated when they do go but I will not be replacing them

Greyrootszerohoots · 17/06/2021 14:22

I love my cats, but if I’d have known how life turned out I wouldn’t have got them. They’ve been with me 10 years and I’d never part with them. I think the regret is that we get them when we can cope with them, and if life takes unexpected turns they become a burden - you could say the same for lots of things though, kids, houses, businesses etc

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 17/06/2021 14:22

Regret is a strong word, but suffice it to say that once our current pets shuffle off the mortal coil, they will not be being replaced.

This really. We have a stray cat that we took in 10 years ago and whilst we love her I won't miss the hair/random attacks/puke because she eats her food too fast/scatching......

We looked after MIL's very elderly dog whilst she went into respite care and whilst he was an absolute sweetheart the fact that he howled when we were out of his sight and the slight urinary incontinence has made us all certain that we are not a dog family!

Thankfully a very dog loving friend now has him and he is living the life of Riley.

I do love dogs and cats, I just like them to belong to other people!

Akire · 17/06/2021 14:22

Only on mumsnet can you quite happily put your mum In care home because it’s to much but YABU if you even think it for a pet!

spiderlight · 17/06/2021 14:24

I can't imagine life without animals. We had three months at the start of 2019 without a dog, as our very elderly rescue dog had passed away just before major building work on the house and it wouldn't have been fair to bring another dog into the chaos. I was miserable and felt as if part of my identity had been stripped away, as I'd had dogs since childhood. Literally the day after the work finished we passed our homeckeck for our current rescue boy, who is just an absolute joy. He's a pain in the bum at times but I would never be without him!

corahallett · 17/06/2021 14:24

@Lightswitchesoffatnight

I love my dog so much and have no regrets. Anyone considering getting a pet needs a long hard think and a massive reality check.
Agree completely. I know too many people who think 'ooh fluffy wuffy puppy, that'll be lovely' without any consideration of how difficult and expensive pet ownership can be, then when it gets tricky it's 'off to the rescue / back to the breeder / onto gumtree for you'. Breaks my heart
cupsofcoffee · 17/06/2021 14:26

Nope, not at all. We have three cats and a dog.

WithASpider · 17/06/2021 14:26

I adore my pets and wouldn't get rid, but I don't think we'll replace the dog when she goes. Maybe not the cats either. DC will be adults by then and I'd like to travel.

It's only me that deals with planning around holidays or days out, not the ones that were actually desperate for her! Love her to bits but it's like having a toddler again just at the point my DC are getting more independent. She's 6 so a good long while of spoiling her rotten still to be done regardless.

queenofarles · 17/06/2021 14:26

sometimes Sad , he’s an extremely active Pom and very high maintenance.

HJ91 · 17/06/2021 14:27

It’s a little of both - I adore my cats and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t feel like it’s home without cats and have grown up with them my entire life. I adore their hilarious high and mighty persona, and I’m lucky to have very friendly and loving pets. Although I know there may be issues when they’re older, and it may be difficult and expensive, I will care for them no matter what; the good far, far outweighs the bad.

Saying that, I think it’s wholly dependent on the pet you have and any other owners. I briefly lived with a dog who stank, was loud, had behavioural issues and pissed on anything and everything when he didn’t get his way. I accept that the issue was with the owner (not me) and lack of training, maybe breed. But I’d never have a dog again due to the experience, and yes, I would have regretted that pet had I remained living with the dog.

poorfanjo · 17/06/2021 14:27

No I love my dogs so much