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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you regret your pets?

392 replies

LittleLottieChaos · 17/06/2021 13:28

I know there are regular threads on people regretting their children… but I’m interested to know, are people similarly regretful of their pets? I currently am looking after my old childhood cat - he’s an old gent now, poos/wees inside and randomly vomits after eating. He also has to be securely locked downstairs at night or he’ll come up and wake us all for food/drool on our heads.

After spending years thinking ‘yay I want a dog and a cat, in fact a whole menagerie’ now I’m thinking ‘no, I’ll just have my kids…’

YABU - I never tire of my animals

YANBU - I sort of regret them at times

OP posts:
Bottleup · 17/06/2021 13:42

I regret getting my cat. She won't keep a collar on and kills about 3 birds a day. She's incredibly clingy and food obsessed and always purposely gets under my feet. I would never rehome her but yes I absolutely wish I'd not got her.

CSIblonde · 17/06/2021 13:45

YABU. I love having a furry shadow & I love her personality. She'll always come say hello when she comes in, even if she's only been out for a 2min wee.

Strokethefurrywall · 17/06/2021 13:49

YANBU I have an elderly (12 year old) shepherd mix. Had him since pup, love him obviously but has liver disease and general urinary incontinence and leaks urine everywhere. Thankfully I’ve got tiled flooring, but everything needs mopping all the time, he smells horrendous and he’s just generally a grumpy bugger.
He’s never been an overly affectionate dog, is stubborn as fuck and I find myself wondering how much more of it I need to put up with.
Our 2nd dog is much more of a “dog”, affectionate, fun, interactive, great to walk, loves us etc.
Dog 1 has just never been that dog and whilst I don’t regret rescuing him, I do regret that my house now stinks of pee for a dog that currently just moonlights as an animated rug.

mistermagpie · 17/06/2021 13:49

I'm in a similar-ish boat to you - older cat, who has also been neurotic for his whole life to be fair, but now randomly wees in places round the house and gets totally stressed if another cat so much as comes in the garden. It's hard work and he annoys me but it's my fault really, I've got three kids and he was here long before them and I don't doubt that had contributed to his anxiety etc. I love him, I've known him longer than my husband and I will care for him until his dying day, but yes - he does annoy me at times. I'm still glad he's here though.

We have another cat and she's the best cat I've ever had, she's great for him even though he hates random cats and she's lovely with the kids. I can't imagine ever being annoyed with her!

I can imagine regretting a dog though, I currently help a family member with theirs 5 days a week and it has put me right off to be honest. The dog itself is lovely but he's a puppy and it's wearing. I actually think anyone contemplating a dog should be made to help out with one before they get it!

bloodyhell19 · 17/06/2021 13:51

I haven't voted because there's no clear answer, and maybe "regret" isn't the right word for our situation... We had two rescue dogs, one a few years older than the other. He developed lupus and had bad hips etc, became incontinent and grumpy... Was I devastated when he died? Yes. Was I also a bit relieved because it was so stressful and the meds were a fortune? Also yes.

The other rescue we have is the most kind and loving lady and has really come into her own since her older "brother's" death. I wouldn't swap her for the world and I dread the idea of her passing or anything happening to her.

However, is it lovely to sometimes get a little break when she goes to the groomers or stays with a relative? Yes. But I almost immediately want her back. I don't regret adopting either one and I can't see a life without dogs, but I think any pet owner (and parent!) will admit that it's nice to just have a little break sometimes.

WeDontLikeCricket · 17/06/2021 13:51

Wouldn't be without my dog now as I adore him but if I could go back I wouldn't get him. He has severe separation anxiety and vet is now looking at medicating him. Really quite stressful.

JustNotCoping123 · 17/06/2021 13:52

I really struggle with my mental health and my cat is my absolute world. She is so intuitive, and knows exactly when I need her to just lie next to me as comfort. She was a 1yr old rescue cat who had just had leg surgery x2 and 3mths recovery time prior to me getting her, so hadn't had the best start. She is so gentle and loving, never scratches or bites- she was very timid initially but I am her human now and it's like having a little shadow. I don't regret her for a second.

I have had pets at times who I maybe wasn't quite as attached to. But generally my feelings are that I have chosen to have them and care for them for however long they live.

The only exception was a horse who was very tricky to deal with- we never 'clicked' and he made everything feel like very hard work. I persevered for 2yrs, then called it a day and sold him. It was a very hard decision, but I don't regret it.

otterbaby · 17/06/2021 13:53

I had my cat for 6 years before I got pregnant. After having my baby, he did get on my nerves and I had moments of thinking "we'd be better off without", but it was absolutely not his fault. He was used to all of the attention on him and I just didn't have as much time anymore, plus I had a bit of postnatal anxiety and the cat litter drove me bonkers. He had kidney disease and needed a lot of care. He died when my daughter was 5 months old (in February) and I really, really miss him. I wasn't able to be with him when he was euthanised, I had to hand him over in the car park and it was one of the worst moments of my life. Pets can definitely be annoying but now that he's gone, I realise just how much he brought to our family 😢

Spidey66 · 17/06/2021 13:53

No. My dog is my best friend, my fur baby. She brings so much to my life.

My husband on the other hand....Wink

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 17/06/2021 13:54

Guinea pigs, no way they’re my favourite.

The dog… sadly yes. I think a “normal” dog I maybe wouldn’t, but we’ve got one who is selectively reactive to other dogs so it’s hard to predict if he’s going to be best mates with a dog that comes up to him, or will want to kill the dig paying him no attention on the other side of the road. He also has separation anxiety (working on it) and it is a hard and long slog. I can’t go anywhere, luckily I’m on maternity at the moment but for doctors apps we have to get mil to watch him. He’s a nightmare and he has massively hindered our lives and tbh my mental health. I hope in the next year or so with the regular work we are doing with him we can leave him at home for a few hours here and there to get some normality back. He has progressed from being frantic when DP leaves the house for work to showing no signs of stress, whining etc so he can move forward it’s just very much hindering.

newnortherner111 · 17/06/2021 13:55

I regret and miss being unable to have pets, because I am away too much in normal times. As does my mum because her back condition means that picking up a pet when needed is impossible.

I'm saddened if you do have regrets.

jb7445 · 17/06/2021 13:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

VeryQuaintIrene · 17/06/2021 13:56

We have 5 geriatric cats (age range 11-18 years old) and I love them dearly even though some are random wee-ers and they are on way more (expensive) medication than we are, but there is nothing to compare with creatures who can be so wild outside but so soft and warm and affectionate when they want to be, inside. And antiphonal purring is the most marvellous, calming sound I know.

Draineddraineddrained · 17/06/2021 13:57

Absolutely bloody hate our cat. Poor thing. I never wanted pets, my partner and daughter wanted him - I just find him a hairy greedy nuisance and feel very bad about it ☹️ he's an outside cat and must admit I have sometimes wished he could be poached by some old dear and not come home!

SheepyToaster · 17/06/2021 13:58

They are bloody hard work but I don't regret them. They bright us joy (and mud, and the smell of fox poo) and are very grounding.

cadburyegg · 17/06/2021 13:59

I voted YABU because I absolutely adore my cat and wouldn't be without her, but she is only 1 so low maintenance and healthy at present!

But I've also had many ailing and elderly pets in my time and there have been times where I've wondered if I've done the right thing keeping them going. So YANBU to feel this way

Ylvamoon · 17/06/2021 14:00

I will always have a dog!
There are about 5 years of my life when I didn't have one as I couldn't- moving out of parents house and the first year at Uni.

Life just wasn't the same.

It's hard to describe, it's like something important was missing.
But then, I grew up with multiple dogs and I now own 3 dogs.... so no regrets really.

But I have to say, sometimes they are bloody hard work!

Winkywonkydonkey · 17/06/2021 14:00

I actually do think my dog getting progressively more incontinent and under my feet is nature's way of making sure we don't miss her too much when she's gone or at least we won't be afraid to 'make the call' when it's time if we have control over it.

noblegreenk · 17/06/2021 14:01

I completely adore my dog and I do regret her at times, but i'd never get rid of her. We had her before we had our daughter who is three. We used to have so much time for the dog but she doesn't get as much attention as she used to. I have considered rehoming her more for her benefit than ours. But she is getting on a bit now. She was from a rescue and has a very strong bond/emotional attachment to me and I don't think she'd cope with change at all. She also has long term health conditions which cost us a fortune in pet insurance premiums and we do struggle financially. Ultimately though, I completely love and adore her, and I do try to give her as much attention a possible.

Dozycuntlaters · 17/06/2021 14:02

God no, absolutely love my pets.

I have two cats, one really sociable, one a misog and a pup who can be a real knob head at times but I bloody adore her. And a 200 litre fish tank but I love having fishes too. A home isn't a home without pets, I wouldn't want to be without any of them.

I do feel sad that some folk go off their pets when they have kids, or when they get old and troublesome. I had a tabby cat who at 16 was incontinent. I just figured we had had the best year of her life, and it's just what happens when pets get old.

Scarlettpixie · 17/06/2021 14:02

I have voted yabu. However I think there is a big difference between occasionally tiring of your pets and regretting having them ,

LittleDidSheKnow · 17/06/2021 14:03

I love my dog but am not looking forward to him being an old man.

I regret the guinea pigs. DD really wanted them but now is not interested so I have to do most of the care.

Tal45 · 17/06/2021 14:04

Pets are just another thing to have to think/worry about, much as I love animals they can be such a tie and cost so much money as they get older. I now pet sit instead and find it the best of both worlds (and I get paid for it!).

TomRipley · 17/06/2021 14:06

Not really but there have been fleeting thoughts of re homing my cats!

The stress and work that goes into de fleaing the house despite your bests efforts to avoid them can give me the rage.
Flea bitten ankles, bombs and endless hoovering makes me want banish the cats.

Then there are the times I've come down in the morning to find a half dead pigeon in my kitchen flapping around terrified and covering my kitchen in blood and feathers.
I swore then that they were going to the cat shelter.
They're still here though. Pets are for life and all that...my cats and my responsibility

ineedaholidayandwine · 17/06/2021 14:06

I wouldn't say i regret them, but i know when they pass away i won't get any more pets.
I'm tired of scooping out the litter tray every morning, shooing them off the worktops, disinfecting the worktops as a results, hoovering all the time to get fluff/bits of cat litter up, shooing them when they start to stretch and dig their claws into the carpet, despite having 2 large scratching posts!
One fairly regularly eats too much and then throws it back up, usually on a carpet or radiator which then takes ages to clean. The the cost of a cat sitter when we go away.