To think that people who keep their curtains closed all day must be ill, or hiding something?

[Bluedeblue]

The first thing that I do, when I get up in the morning, is to open the curtains. Possibly a window as well, to let a breeze in. There are a few houses nearby, who never open any curtains. Bedroom and lounge curtains are always firmly closed, even on lovely summer days. The gardens are unkempt and scruffy, all the paintwork is peeling. But someone definitely living there, as in one case, a brand new car on the drive and I've seen pizza delivery to the other. Does anyone else find this really odd, and think that there must be something amiss with these people? It must be so dark inside. I find it almost a bit creepy.

It's how my partner knows if I'm having a bad time. I don't open the curtains when I'm feeling low. Maybe those people are struggling 🤷‍♀️

Maybe they work permanent nights ? That’s why ours aren’t open

I don't find it weird at all, or a "need to hide something." Some people are just not sun lovers. I am one of them. Right now, I have to be up during the daytime as there are a host of home health care workers coming and going during the week, however, once I am recovered enough, I will go back to my "bedtime at 7 AM, arise at 5 PM" schedule, and you can bet that my curtains will be closed during the day, as it is easier to sleep that way.

Then there are those poor souls who are (or have children who are) victims of scleroderma pigmentosa, and ANY UV light is dangerous, and ultimately fatal. They are forced to live by night, and block out the sun, or die VERY early.

There are also people who, with nothing evil or unsavory to hide, are simply very private people.

Just because someone lives differently than you does not automatically mean that they are somehow damaged or wrong.

One neighbour we called druggie John keeps his curtains closed all the time but that's because he's a weed grower/drug dealer so definitely dodgy. Another neighbour had hers shut most of the tinware she has serious mental health issues- schizophrenia etc. I know myself personally that when I'm struggling with my mental health I'm more likely to leave my curtains shut as its a way of closing off to the world but I also have them closed at times to try to keep it cooler in the hot weather.

@Usernamerequired My son isn’t aware of anything like that yet. The things I never thought I’d have to consider 🤔 It’s definitely sensory overload for him too with the curtains closing. At one time he wouldn’t allow us to put the lights on either but sometimes you need them on so we bought these switch covers which worked brilliantly. It seemed to curb his enthusiasm for having them off once he couldn’t turn it off. If he gets agitated of course, we do turn off the lights.

My dad had poor eyesight so kept his curtains closed. Now he has a carer they and the windows are open daily, much nicer to visit now though

Where we lived some years ago the curtains were always shut as the way the sun came in meant you constantly had the light the wrong way They were all open towards th e back

@BiscoffAnythingIsTheWayForward the switch covers are a great idea. My DC didn’t try to turn them off for some reason just cried and stayed in the dark. Now i understand the reason for not liking lights. Even a Christmas tree would be a problem and the bright lights in shops. We have bought pastel coloured light bulbs for the lamps, the rose, green, blue and yellow colours are great. Light enough for us to see what we are doing but a softer glow. ASD can have so many triggers from person to person.
I hope you are all keeping well. If only people gave more consideration to what others might be going through

@crimsonclover

It could be mental health. I was once a community worker and had to visit many people at home who were too anxious to leave. In many cases the blinds hadn’t been opened in years and even the suggestion of opening them could trigger a panic attack. If these neighbours also never leave the house it’s also likely.

Do me a favour!

I keep my curtains shut to creep out nosey buggers who should be minding their own business instead of wondering what their neighbours are up to.

@Usernamerequired This is true. We have a light in his room that can change to pretty much any colour and be dimmed right down, it syncs with an app and Alexa, it’s been a really good thing for him.

I agree, and I think the bigger question is, why does anyone even care if some has their curtains shut or not 🤔 Unless I thought someone needed help or was ill I don’t think I’d even notice.

@MagicSummer

I never close the curtains in the sitting room except in the depths of winter. I never, ever close bedroom curtains as I can't bear to sleep in the dark. If people want to look it, let them, is my attitude.

I agree with you, OP, it is weird to keep them closed all the time.

No it's not! Maybe realise people are different to you and have different lives. Wonder if you'd be so keen to have light in your room at night when there's a great big street light opposite your house

@BiscoffAnythingIsTheWayForward ooh that sounds like a great light! Wish they were out when DC was younger. We had lava lamps (which couldn’t be kept on for too long), solar planet and stars projector light and plug in night nights for bed/winding down time.
Yeah i wouldn’t notice either, maybe we just have bigger things on our minds than looking at other people’s houses. I only really would notice if i haven’t seen the couple of elderly neighbours that live directly across from me in a while, as we have the same big trip to the chemist and shop days out every week. Or if we were out gardening.

Like the OP I like the blinds/curtains open (or at least 3/4open), window slightly ajar (regardless of whether it’s winter or summer). Can’t stand them closed.

My fiancé on the other hand, who I will be moving in with soon, likes the blinds closed sometimes in the day. I’m like hmmm... 🤔 how are we going to get around this lol

My bedroom curtains are always closed because there's flats opposite me and they can see right in. I don't care if they see in my living room so those curtains are open, but I don't like them being able to see into the bedroom

Depends. If a bus load of passengers can see into your house when you open the curtains, then I would keep mine closed, or get nets. Or if you live opposite a school or college, you might not want kids milling around, peering in.
But yeah, natural light, seeing the sky...lovely

I keep my bedroom curtains shut most summer day's (even when the window's open) as it keeps the room cooler. Sometimes I don't go into the living room until late afternoon, so my roman blinds might be down. It doesn't mean anything, no clutter, no squalor, nothing to hide 😆

Keep ours closed as our 1930s houses are like living in a goldfish bowl. Road is a cul de sac and we look straight across into neighbours houses. Plus there is an alleyway at the end of the road so lots of footfall down our little road. I am fed up of all and sundry looking in my front room hence drawn curtains. Keep waiting for my evergreen shrubs to grow large enough to keep people encroaching on my privacy.

I have very big Victorian bay windows and I keep mine closed because

1. I like the privacy and being able to walk from bathroom to the bedroom. …. I have needed to drop to my knees, naked, in the past and comando crawl to my wardrobe to get something to put on!!! The panic sweat was almost enough to warrant another shower 🤣🤣.
2. In summer the rooms stay cooler.

3 and this is most the important to me. In winter it keeps the rooms warmer….. single glazed wooden windows and rooms with high ceilings…. Look lovely but they’re f-ing freezing and expensive to heat infact I’ll change that… impossible to heat. Definitely need to keep blinds/curtains closed to maintain some semblance of comfortable living temperature.

So there you go a few reasons and none of them are to please the neighbours and prevent them feeling “oppressed” or “sad” by looking at our house.

What is it about that possible scenario you find so difficult?

a bus load of passengers can see into your house when you open the curtains, then I would keep mine closed, or get nets.

We have to warn our guests about that since we have a double decker bus that goes past the side of our home and you can see right into the guest room if the curtains are open.

My bedroom curtains are permanently closed, as it is my safety space, and I like my coccoon. I like the world to be shut out. I suffer from depression which can be particularly difficult at times. My dark safety space is the place I need then.-

I never comment on these threads but you are being unreasonable! I regularly open my curtains, but I also regularly leave them closed. A single mom, with two autistic kids and three auto immune conditions myself, some days even getting up is hard. Never mind opening curtains. I have peeling paint in some areas, I also have some paving slabs in my garden. Those slabs are there from the days I spent laying a patio. By myself. I'm a very clean and proud person, spending many of my good days cleaning and decorating and making my house my own, after 7 years it's still not finished, but some things in life are just worth more than killing myself over peeling paint. I have a neighbor, like you, who obviously has the most perfect house and garden! but do you enjoy it or sit judging it and other people's homes?. Everyone has something in their life, jobs, sick kids, working night shifts, or maybe those houses are rented, some neighbors are older, or just some people don't actually give a flying fart about how their gardens, paint etc look!!
each to their own. Oh and maybe some people like a day off. And close curtains so people don't come knocking. If my kids are gone to their dads and I'm having a sick day, I will close all my curtains at 1pm, If need be, to stop the 15 times the bell will ring with kids from the neighborhood looking for my kids. I think you need to go sit in your garden and enjoy some quiet time and think, wow I'm lucky, I've no peeling paint, dirty scruff garden, I have completed life. Pour yourself a cocktail and live!!

Sorry to hear that about your autoimmune diseases @Slimysofaslug, being a single mum to two autistic children must be so hard already. I salute you. Well said too.

We have to close the curtains on a hot day OP to try and keep the house cool. Windows open, blinds and curtains down. It’s not like we are sat inside in the dark we are usually in the garden, or, if wfh, we have the curtains/blinds open in just the rooms we are in.