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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be irrationally angry....

68 replies

Itsjustamoment · 16/06/2021 15:02

at my 'D'H for going somewhere he knew I'd really enjoy?
Today my DH has finished work early, picked up his parents who live round the corner from us, and gone somewhere I'd have loved. Think antique store etc etc.
I knew nothing of these plans until he phoned me saying 'you'd love it here, you'd be in your element, that's why you're not here'
I'm beyond furious. It just seems so mean!
Am I being absolutely ridiculous?

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsjustamoment · 16/06/2021 15:03

Just for clarity, I'm not in work today. He knows this....

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 16/06/2021 15:04

'you'd love it here, you'd be in your element, that's why you're not here'

What does this mean?

TheQueef · 16/06/2021 15:05

Actually that sounds really cruel on the face of it.
What was his reason for not calling for you?

Welikebeingcosy · 16/06/2021 15:06

Do you need your DH to invite you to places you love? Just go anyway, don't wait for him to take you somewhere

endofthelinefinally · 16/06/2021 15:07

That is really nasty. Are you considering leaving him? It sounds as if he doesn't care about you.

UsernameNotAvailableApparently · 16/06/2021 15:07

“That’s why you’re not here”?! That sounds really cruel OP.

Welikebeingcosy · 16/06/2021 15:08

Didn't mean that in a mean way by the way. I just mean don't let him get to you

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 16/06/2021 15:08

Does he mean "that's why you're not here" because he thinks you'd spend a lot of money? Sounds like a bit of a shitty thing for him to do behind your back

OoglyMoogly · 16/06/2021 15:11

It sounds really cruel. Is there a backstory to this that he's said this to get back at you?

Crabbitcrab · 16/06/2021 15:12

Sounds like he was making a joke about you not being there because you'd go nuts and buy loads. Does he usually have to ask permission to see his parents? Is he only allowed to visit places you like if you're with him?

Grazka · 16/06/2021 15:15

'you'd love it here, you'd be in your element, that's why you're not here'

This sounds very cruel and unnecessary

Fairyliz · 16/06/2021 15:16

Wow I didn’t think it was too bad if you were at work; but you are at home and his parents live nearby, so not a long journey to collect you!!
That’s really mean. I would cook a dinner for yourself, eat it and say that was really nice you would have enjoyed it.

Original poster
Itsjustamoment · 16/06/2021 15:17

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

Does he mean "that's why you're not here" because he thinks you'd spend a lot of money? Sounds like a bit of a shitty thing for him to do behind your back
Yes, that's exactly it.
OP posts:
Original poster
Itsjustamoment · 16/06/2021 15:19

@Crabbitcrab

Sounds like he was making a joke about you not being there because you'd go nuts and buy loads. Does he usually have to ask permission to see his parents? Is he only allowed to visit places you like if you're with him?
He absolutely does not have to ask my permission to see his parents or to do anything else he'd like to do. He can also visit where he likes but wouldn't ordinarily visit the type of place he has today.
OP posts:
Original poster
Itsjustamoment · 16/06/2021 15:21

@OoglyMoogly

It sounds really cruel. Is there a backstory to this that he's said this to get back at you?
No backstory really but he does have form for being thoughtless.
OP posts:
1forAll74 · 16/06/2021 15:29

I think he was being a bit jokey. but I wouldn't be bothered about something like this.. I would prefer to go to nice little places like that, on my own, as don't like meandering around places with other people.

Peoniesandpeaches · 16/06/2021 15:30

Go without him buy all the pretty things [grins]

Gilly12345 · 16/06/2021 15:37

Did he know you had the day off?

Why would he not consider you but invite his parents?

Is he normally a thoughtless plonker?

VeganCheesePlease · 16/06/2021 15:39

That was a massive dick move. There was no need for that at all.
I would go out and do whatever I wanted for the evening and leave him to it.

Gilly12345 · 16/06/2021 15:39

I agree with Fairyliz and prepare yourself a meal for later and not him and yes say you would of loved that, see how he likes it, he may be more thoughtful next time and treat people as he likes to be treated.

Original poster
Itsjustamoment · 16/06/2021 15:50

It's nice to see I'm not the only person that would be angry at this.
Yes, he definitely has form for being a thoughtless plonker.
I would never have acted in the same way and he wouldn't have liked it had I done the same to him.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 16/06/2021 15:52

Remember his comment when you sit down to eat your dinner tonight. "Mmm, you'd love this, it really is delicious." 😋

Papillon33 · 16/06/2021 15:55

Maybe he will bring you a nice gift, and he thought he was just being funny.. it's not very funny though

FuckyouCovid21 · 16/06/2021 15:57

I think he has every right to go out with his parents without you, but it was a total dick move to phone you to gloat about it

User57892 · 16/06/2021 15:58

Nasty prick