I'm about to lose it. Single mum, DC with me 5 to 6 nights a week. DD is 11, DS is 6...both suspected ADHD/ADD. They NEVER STOP. Unless it's screens, then they don't listen to anything or anyone.
DD is up and down stairs all fucking evening, getting snacks, doing this, doing that... finally sleeps around 11pm. She's wonderful and so clever and can be do thoughtful and kind, but fuck me she just doesn't switch off. I get constant lip from her because she's tired, I can't give her any attention because of her brother..I've tried to get her to sort her pets out tonight and tidy her room, but kept having to ask and chivvy and remind and her brother just wanted constant attention so it didn't get done.
DS demands I stay with him, in his bed, until he falls asleep. Every night. It's nearly 10 and he's wailing now because I won't let him basically lie on top of me. He has to be in physical contact. I'm so hot, I'm so fed up...if I leave him he screams, wails, shouts mummmymummymummy at the top of his voice. Been doing bath and bed since 7.30pm.
I'm a teacher, I've not had the energy to work in the evening for months, I need to, to keep on top of work. I sit here doing emails on my phone waiting for him to sleep.
I'm at the end of my tether, I've got piles of washing everywhere, clean but not put away because I never get a bloody minute in the evenings. House is a tip, cat needs feeding and as a result is also now in here wailing at me, other pets to sort, lunches to make.. I've got easily an hour, maybe two of stuff to do for the morning and despite doing loads since I've been home I know I won't get to even switch my laptop on untill 11 at least and then might not sleep until 1am..I do get a day off a week but it's spent just running around playing catch-up. 4 days a week I'm up at 6 and weekends DS is up at 7 or earlier, plus during the night, last night he was calling out several times in the night, waking me. DD at least now sleeps through, neither of them did until about age 4, not one night. Neither ever slept during the day, not longer than 20 mins.
They've always been this way, nothing works. I think I've tried everything. I'm speaking to the child health service once a week to get advice from a counsellor as his behaviour is terrible too, tantrums, screaming, ignoring... but they suggested a timer when he knew I'd go after 15 mins of staying with him and he just screams.
When he's with his dad he does this, he has to call me or play a recorded story by me to help him sleep, or he sits with him too. He didn't bother keeping up the timer thing either so it's pointless as there's no consistent approach.
The heat isn't helping either.
I'm just at the end of my tether. If I'm honest the issues with both kids split up my relationship as ex didnt help at all and I had to beg him to take over most nights so I could work. I took a cut in hours as I was so exhausted, now I'm on my own I'm still exhausted but skint too.
I'm just on the edge of tears every night with this. I've got a wonderful boyfriend who is sympathetic but doesn't have his own kids, we see each other once a week and I prioritise sleep then and get a break from the relentless bedtimes, but he really wanted to chat tonight about something that happened today and I still haven't been able to call him. He's really patient but he's no idea really what it can be like.
I just feel so overwhelmed by it all. Sorry for the sweary rant. I just don't know what to do. I really like living on my own, I'm much happier without my ex and he wasn't much help either, on the spectrum too so used to just need telling directly constantly what I needed him to do and it was exhausting...then used to just create more mess and get sulky with me when I'd spend all evening cleaning or working or doing everything for the next day. Used to get himself up in the morning without helping and just sort himself out, trot off to work and leave me to sort the kids.. Most days are easily better without that but it's so lonely lying here night after night.
I know it'll get better, probably in 5 or 6 years time if DD is anything to go by, but I'll just have an 11 year old that can sort of put himself to bed but is still bloody awake and an 17 year old who will most likely be out causing me other worries 😂 oh and I'll be nearly 50 so menopausal too, happy days ðŸ˜