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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my colleagues are been a bit nasty

115 replies

user625162733 · 15/06/2021 19:16

I'm not sure if I am been oversensitive (hormonal at the moment). I went back to work recently after been off sick for 18 months, obviously a lot changed at work in that time with the pandemic and also a lot of staff have left.
Due to treatment I received I get tired easily in the afternoon so I have requested to work half days (mornings). All the other staff work full days, so because of me only doing half days I don't work weekends at the moment.
One member of staff has a problem with me not working weekends and keeps saying things like I'm happy to do my share of weekends, all staff should be doing weekends are working till the end of shifts.
Last week a colleague asked me to do a job and I explained I couldn't due to damage in my arm after my operation and that i find doing repetitive work with that arm painful. She looked at me in a shocked way, as if I shouldn't have said that I couldn't do it and just get on with it.
I feel so unhappy at the moment and so useless 😩

OP posts:
Bridezillamaybe · 15/06/2021 19:26

Yadnbu. I hope you return to full health soon. If the system is not working for all team members it's up to management to solve, not you.

There was a thread here recently which looked like it was a similar situation but from a disgruntled teammate complaining about having to do weekends. If I remember correctly she got absolutely roasted.

Here's the thing - nothing truly is more important than your health. You have to give yourself every opportunity to heal. You are back to work in a sensible way.

If your colleagues are bullying you, talk to management and ask them to come up with a better solution. This is not your fault, you've done nothing wrong.

ilovesooty · 15/06/2021 19:36

If your colleagues are bullying you, talk to management and ask them to come up with a better solution. This is not your fault, you've done nothing wrong

You've negotiated reasonable adjustments with management. Let them know what is being said to you by your colleagues.

whiteroseredrose · 15/06/2021 19:39

Could you do some weekend mornings and then take time off in lieu during the week?

That was always a bone of contention in an old workplace. Nobody liked having to work Saturday. If someone wasn't doing their share that meant more for the rest of us.

Cocomarine · 15/06/2021 19:47

Why does half days mean you don’t work the half day at the weekend?

Original poster
user625162733 · 15/06/2021 19:48

@Cocomarine

Why does half days mean you don’t work the half day at the weekend?
because 3 people are needed all day over the weekends.
OP posts:
Original poster
user625162733 · 15/06/2021 19:50

@whiteroseredrose

Could you do some weekend mornings and then take time off in lieu during the week?

That was always a bone of contention in an old workplace. Nobody liked having to work Saturday. If someone wasn't doing their share that meant more for the rest of us.

I have said I can work Sat/Sun mornings but my manager has said it would still mean she would need to get 3 other staff in for the full day. Me not doing my share doesn't mean that anyone does anymore weekend work, when I went off sick they got cover in and he works the weekends I use to work.
OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 15/06/2021 19:52

@Cocomarine

Why does half days mean you don’t work the half day at the weekend?
This.

Half days should mean half a weekend day included otherwise it’s not fair. I I get the comments as they must be annoyed with taking the brunt but you need to put your health first.

shivawn · 15/06/2021 19:56

YANBU but I see your coworkers point of view too, it must be frustrating to have one person who can't do certain jobs or shifts.

MrsTophamHat · 15/06/2021 19:58

Yanbu but I can see why your colleagues would have a problem with the weekend thing.

I'm not clear as to why you working a weekend morning wouldn't mean that someone could have the morning off and start at lunchtime. I appreciate what you say about the man who is covering you, but on the surface it still seems that they are all giving up 1 weekend in X whereas you are having every weekend off.

That's no excuse to be rude however.

Librariesmakeshhhhappen · 15/06/2021 19:59

Being. Being off sick. Not been.

FunMcCool · 15/06/2021 20:03

Did you post about this the other week?

Original poster
user625162733 · 15/06/2021 20:03

@MrsTophamHat

Yanbu but I can see why your colleagues would have a problem with the weekend thing.

I'm not clear as to why you working a weekend morning wouldn't mean that someone could have the morning off and start at lunchtime. I appreciate what you say about the man who is covering you, but on the surface it still seems that they are all giving up 1 weekend in X whereas you are having every weekend off.

That's no excuse to be rude however.

I think its because they are contracted for 5 full days per week and if they did a half day they would be working 4 full and 2 half days, so only 1 day off per week and manager has said everyone should have 2 days off per week.
OP posts:
HollyBollyBooBoo · 15/06/2021 20:09

Is it a phased return to work that you've come back on? Will you gradually increase your hours back to full time?

Any bullying from colleagues needs to be reported to your manager as that is not on at all.

Original poster
user625162733 · 15/06/2021 20:11

@HollyBollyBooBoo

Is it a phased return to work that you've come back on? Will you gradually increase your hours back to full time?

Any bullying from colleagues needs to be reported to your manager as that is not on at all.

I'm not returning to full time hours its too much for me so I am doing 4 mornings a week.
OP posts:
NBFJ364N · 15/06/2021 20:12

presume you have taken the paycut as well as reducing hours?

thats workplaces for you.....people notice differences and resentment sets in. they will gossip and slag people off behind their backs and moan to bosses about unfairness of them having to work extra hard to carry the slackers

i hear it all the time....whatever you do will be wrong in their eyes

LakieLady · 15/06/2021 20:12

I'd be telling them in no certain terms that you have had adjustments made because you are suffering disabling after-effects of a long term illness.

They sound really nasty.

stackemhigh · 15/06/2021 20:14

YANBU, I bet if they got hurt/sick they’d ask for the adjustments too. Don’t let them make you feel bad. Next time they ask you to do something unreasonable, YOU look shocked at their cheek.

OffRampHilton · 15/06/2021 20:15

This sounds nearly identical to a post on here last week, but from the colleague’s POV.

OP, why can’t you work a half day on a weekend day?

stackemhigh · 15/06/2021 20:16

@OffRampHilton

This sounds nearly identical to a post on here last week, but from the colleague’s POV.

OP, why can’t you work a half day on a weekend day?

She’s already explained! And the other thread is irrelevant to OP.
Original poster
user625162733 · 15/06/2021 20:17

@NBFJ364N

presume you have taken the paycut as well as reducing hours?

thats workplaces for you.....people notice differences and resentment sets in. they will gossip and slag people off behind their backs and moan to bosses about unfairness of them having to work extra hard to carry the slackers

i hear it all the time....whatever you do will be wrong in their eyes

Thats the hardest part I don't want them thinking I'm a slacker, I am trying to do as much as I physically can but it will never be as much as other people. I hate feeling so useless, I don't want this illness controlling my life but it does 😢
OP posts:
goldfinchfan · 15/06/2021 20:18

IME most people are really crap about illness and disability

its them not you.........try not to let them upset you which is easier to say than do!
i hope you regain more strength

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/06/2021 20:18

You've returned on a four mornings per week contract? Who fills the rest of your shift?

HollyBollyBooBoo · 15/06/2021 20:19

I think you just need to be really clear with them that you're part time, they are fixed days and it isn't going to change. If they've got a problem they can go to their line manager.

Is there a bit of resentment from them in so much as they've absorbed all the workload whilst you've been off?

NotImpossible · 15/06/2021 20:19

What you do is not their business really and if they're commenting on it I'd take it up with the manager.

It's not up to your collagues to say who works when or 'share' the work out - you all have individual contracts/hours presumably so any dissatisfaction by anyone needs to be passed upwards.

Tehmina23 · 15/06/2021 20:19

I can only work short hours part time due to serious mental illness (that I can't tell my colleagues about). So as a result they gossip etc. Despite it not affected them or their workload.
I get where you are coming from @user625162733 & I really sympathise.
I hope your health continues to improve x

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