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AIBU?

To think my colleagues are been a bit nasty

115 replies

user625162733 · 15/06/2021 19:16

I'm not sure if I am been oversensitive (hormonal at the moment). I went back to work recently after been off sick for 18 months, obviously a lot changed at work in that time with the pandemic and also a lot of staff have left.
Due to treatment I received I get tired easily in the afternoon so I have requested to work half days (mornings). All the other staff work full days, so because of me only doing half days I don't work weekends at the moment.
One member of staff has a problem with me not working weekends and keeps saying things like I'm happy to do my share of weekends, all staff should be doing weekends are working till the end of shifts.
Last week a colleague asked me to do a job and I explained I couldn't due to damage in my arm after my operation and that i find doing repetitive work with that arm painful. She looked at me in a shocked way, as if I shouldn't have said that I couldn't do it and just get on with it.
I feel so unhappy at the moment and so useless 😩

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

438 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
21%
You are NOT being unreasonable
79%
Anna727b · 15/06/2021 23:16

They sound like bullies with no empathy for your serious illness.

I would probably mention to them that you have offered to do weekend mornings; that by doing that someone else would have to work 6 day weeks with two half days and that you are obviously on half-pay too. Maybe also that having to contend with a serious illness and reduced pay is not something that you had ever planned for.

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Graphista · 15/06/2021 23:20

Might be time to look for a new job.

Might be time for the disability colleagues to look for another job! They're the ones in the wrong.

Also bloody hard to find a job in this current climate without having to deal with disability discrimination too.

Weekends in many industries can be MUCH busier and MUCH harder to manage for employees with fatigue and other health issues. I used to happily work busy weekends in hospitality and retail in the past, physically and mentally could not do it these days it'd completely scupper me for like a week!

Dd is younger and fitter (for now) and does that kind of work but she also has a disability and as she gets older won't be up to this kind of thing.

They should be glad their health hasn’t restricted their physical abilities and working capacity.

Exactly!

then op should as well

Never mind she's sick/disabled eh? Nice attitude! Illegal attitude actually!

Disablism alive and well on THIS thread

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SinisterBumFacedCat · 16/06/2021 00:03

Your colleagues are dealing with their normal workloads, and still picking up some of yours. They're overworked and tired.

Then they take it up with the management not the OP. If they are such amazing hard workers they should know that, and that bullying someone out of a job will only increase their workload.

They won’t talk to management obviously because they are cowards.

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Lucifersladylove · 16/06/2021 00:13

@3rdcircle

It's a game of competitive misery, OP.

You're still recovering, and dealing with the limitations that weren't there before, which is hard.

Your colleagues are dealing with their normal workloads, and still picking up some of yours. They're overworked and tired.

None of you are unreasonable to feel angry, sad and/or frustrated at the cards you've been dealt. The problem is, management need to recognise the situation that has arisen and to deal with it.

After 18 months off, your colleagues probably know something's happened to you, so working out that you need reasonable adjustments shouldn't be difficult, even if you haven't shared any details. However, after 18 months of covering for you, they might be past the point of caring. Yes, they had cover for some of that time, but not all of that time, and you don't know how good or bad that person was.

I think all you can do is speak to management to explain that you're coping with the phased return, but do not anticipate returning to full-time hours for a long time, so you wondered if there were any plans to recruit given you can see how busy your colleagues are.

management know that OP isn’t doing more hours, there is no phased return, these are OPs hours now. If the others have an issue they need to take it up with management.
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WaterOffADucksCrack · 16/06/2021 00:52

Your managers should have found someone to cover the afternoons you would have done prior to being off. That should include you doing weekend mornings and them doing weekend afternoons.

If I was your colleague I wouldn't be annoyed at you at all. I would however be looking for a new job due to poor management

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me4real · 16/06/2021 01:13

I think all you can do is speak to management to explain that you're coping with the phased return, but do not anticipate returning to full-time hours for a long time, so you wondered if there were any plans to recruit given you can see how busy your colleagues are.

@Lucifersladylove That isn't OP's responsibility. If the others need help they can go to management. These are her hours for the foreseeable and her bosses know that. A lot of disabilities don't just go away.

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musthavebeenlove · 16/06/2021 01:26

I think the combination of you not feeling very well and their chagrin over having to cover the weekends without your help (which is understandable, given your situation) is causing this tension and the best thing you can do for now is focus on your health and try to do your job as well as possible. I understand it’s not your fault but I can also understand how they feel. However, if this is escalating behavior then definitely complain about them.

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Mintjulia · 16/06/2021 01:30

YANBU. I hate the whinging 'it's not fair' brigade. Your co-workers are behaving like 8 year olds.

Everyone, at some point, has to cover for someone else in their team. You're doing a graduated return to work as you return to full health.

Ignore their grumbling. Point out that when they are poorly sometime in the future, you'll do the same for them.

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me4real · 16/06/2021 02:23

You're doing a graduated return to work as you return to full health.

@Mintjulia I don't think OP has said that. She has a disability (as do I myself.) They're not always time-limited unfortunately. Though some people's are and that's great. OP might still experience a lot of improvement.

I have a friend who has a very high-flying role and she has a severe disability, she can't get out of bed, to the loo or eat without an aide, and has had it since a child. She has a law degree. Her disability and the accomodations needed don't mean her work isn't of a high standard.

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Joeblack066 · 16/06/2021 02:53

Your colleagues are BEING nasty.

You may have BEEN over sensitive.

Not being picky btw, just pointing out a wrong word!

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Brefugee · 16/06/2021 07:21

these are OPs hours now. If the others have an issue they need to take it up with management

exactly this. However, there is bound to be resentment if they have to pick up the slack, however misguided it is.

OP didn't answer if they are now working more often at the weekend or not, and that's a crucial issue for them I suspect. It's still not OPs problem, but if she's the one the coworkers see all the time and the management are largely absent, she's the one getting it in the neck. Even though that's wrong.

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JeanClaudeVanDammit · 16/06/2021 07:26

I can fully understand why your colleagues are pissed off, but they shouldn’t be taking it out on you.

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LateAtTate · 16/06/2021 08:08

@Brefugee OP has states that her cover works the weekends

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ivfgottwins · 16/06/2021 08:14

To be honest I don't agree with employers keeping people on payroll when they are on long term sick - it's not a few weeks or even a few months it was almost 2 years and if your employer was paying you a wage and couldn't afford to then pay for cover I can understand the resentment from your colleagues. I know that's harsh and probably brutal but it's the truth.

Why have you returned to the same job after such a long time? Is there not other employment which would suit you better?

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NotImpossible · 16/06/2021 08:41

Bloody hell! Hours/workload are between the employer and employee. OP is not to blame for her colleagues hours/workloads any more than I am. If they are unhappy then they need to speak to their manager.

I can't believe how many people on her think the OP is in any way responsible for this. But I suppose it's easier to bully someone at the same level than address your grievances like an adult, with the person who employs you.

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Ownerofmultiplechimps · 16/06/2021 10:16

@ivfgottwins so the op's employer should have abandoned them the minute they new the impact could potentially have long term effects/been classed as a disability? So directly contravening the legislation in place to protect people, ok then

I imagine the op returned because they are entitled to do so & employer has made what's classed as reasonable adjustments to facilitate this. Whether the colleagues feel these are reasonable doesn't matter & their feelings shouldn't be directed at the op.

Why is should the op have to look for so!getting you think would suit them better when the adjustments mean the job is already suitable.

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Ownerofmultiplechimps · 16/06/2021 10:16

Apologies for the typos

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Brefugee · 16/06/2021 10:21

OP has states that her cover works the weekends

Yes but it isn't really clear if the cover is still there.

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Excilente · 16/06/2021 10:33

@Brefugee doesn't matter if the cover isn't there any more, weekends are not part of the OP's negotiated contracted hours, therefore, non of her concern and people need to take it up with management, not moan at the OP over it being 'unfair'

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Brefugee · 16/06/2021 10:40

I know that. The point I'm trying to make is that if they used to do 1 weekend in 4 because there were 4 shifts (for example) and now they have to do 1 in 3 - I completely understand why they would be disgruntled while I have said all along that it's nothing to do with the OP. They will still see her as the cause of this and may think along the lines of the (spectacularly lacking in empathy) PP who think the OP should be let go because of her illness.

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rachelstriffle · 16/06/2021 10:43

To be honest I don't agree with employers keeping people on payroll when they are on long term sick

I disagree, as long as the rules are strict enough.

Long-term sickness is one thing, being "a bit stressed" is taking the piss and should not be tolerated. It brings the whole system down for everybody and people who have a genuine health issue are put in the same bag as the piss takers.

That's when benefits should kick in, and the same amount as your salary being paid to you directly (but for a GENUINE reason!)

but it's fair to give the option to have your job back.

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LateAtTate · 16/06/2021 11:06

Can the job actually be done part-time?
Presumably your pay is less than half that of a full timer because the need to work weekends is included in the salary...or is it not?
Either way if they do indeed have to do more work - they won’t stop being nasty to you unless someone in management speaks up...

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saraclara · 16/06/2021 11:14

Are you now on a part time contract and earning relative to that, OP? Or is this a very lengthy phased return?

If the former, then you simply say to these people "I'm no longer in my old job. I now work (n) hours a week on a part time contract and earn the commensurate salary. Management should be employing someone else for the extra hours and weekends, and I can understand you being annoyed that they haven't"

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MissyB1 · 16/06/2021 11:21

Can’t believe there are posters in here thinking the OP shouldn’t have been able to keep her job or come back in less hours! Wait till you get a serious illness, would you be happy to get sacked for it??

OP my dh had some of this shit from a colleague when Dh was diagnosed with a brain tumour, and occupational health changed his hours and removed his on calls. In the end Dh offered to do the colleague’s weekend if he would have DH’s brain tumour- that shut the fucker up!

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Ownerofmultiplechimps · 16/06/2021 11:51

@MissyB1 mad isn't it! I imagine those posters are the type of people the op is referring to here

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