AIBU to not take DCs temp every day?

[Aberforthsgoat]

My DC is 19 months, he generally is a hot child I know this from how he feels (His dad is the same and HATES the heat). He gets warmer after eating, when he's tired and when he's been upset and cools down over night or if he (rarely!) sits still. I know all this from the general feel of him.

My good friend is a nurse. I was round hers yesterday when she took her DC's temp and I was a bit take aback as I presumed that meant she thought they were ill so wouldn't have gone round but she said she does it every day to keep a look out for infection and Covid.
She seemed surprised that I don't regularly take DC's temp. She took his while we were there and it was 37.6 which she said was a bit high but fine if he is a warm kid anyway and his temp normally runs in the 37s. I have no real idea if he does, just that he's normally warm and he didn't feel hot hot.

He's not poorly or anything, didn't appear unwell etc so I would have had no reason to check but she's made me feel really irresponsible now for not really knowing. I tend to go by how he is in himself and if he has any symptoms. He's had a proper fever twice in his life and I've recognised this immediately and then taken his temperature and treated it (I'm talking 39).

So as not to dripfeed, I suffer with health anxiety and it used to be very bad, but I'm managing it well now despite the pandemic, so I try to steer clear of things like taking a temperature all the time as I know I'll get obsessed with the numbers and any brief fluctuation up a bit higher than it should be or lower etc.

Do you all take temps regularly? Do you know your DC's 'number' on the thermometer?

I only take dc's temperature if he feels hot and seems unwell.
Sure fire way to instil health anxiety in the kids doing medical checks everyday id think.

No, I don't take regular temps. I did for a while for DH because he was on chemo and he had to have his temperature checked daily but routine temperature readings for the rest of us? No.

I’m a nurse, I never take my child’s temp unless she seems unwell.

I know roughly what each of my DC's "normal" temps are. I do not take their temps every day and see no reason to do so. If they are unwell or feel abnormally hot I would but otherwise it wouldn't even enter my mind. I'm with you!

No, never take temperature unless I think they have a fever from touching them

I don't think I've ever taken my children's temperature in 19 years. We don't even own a functioning thermometer at the moment. I'm not recommending this approach particularly. I think it might be quite a good idea to get one. But your friend is a bit extreme!

I don't take my DDs temp unless I suspect it may be up, which happened twice in 18m of her life.

Im a nurse and dont do it unless I need too

I do on school days, but it literally takes a second as we have one of those no-contact guns. I don’t often catch the eldest before she leaves for school but they’re beeped on the way through the gate anyway.
It’s definitely a good thing to know their “normal” temperature range. I run on the cooler side, so I know if I reach 38 on a thermometer I’m actually very unwell! While for my middle child, that’s normal.

YANBU OP, and you are wise to be wary if you suffer health anxiety. I think taking a temperature every day is obsessive, even at the moment.

I’ve never taken my DCs temperature with a thermometer in 16 years of parenting, just by feel, so wouldn’t know numbers. They’ve been measured at doctors and hospitals but not at home.

Are you sure she wasn’t doing it as a covid precaution because you were coming round (the way some restaurants do a temperature check? I think that makes more sense than just checking your kids temps everyday in the absence of any other symptoms.

I think maybe Covid has made everyone more aware of temps as I asked another friend on whatsapp and she said she does hers three times a day and has had them to the doctor for regular short fluctuations of 38.

I'm wondering now if I'd be able to tell if he had a mild fever. i definitely knew when it was 39, but I tend to think oh he feels a bit hot, I'll pop his t shirt off or whatever rather than 'mild fever'. I run cooler and DH runs hotter, and it seems to take after DH, so we tend to measure based on how DH feels to touch as I'm always a cold fish!

Unfortunately I think it's tapped into my anxious brain and made me feel that kind of panic that I should be doing something and I'm being reckless by not, so thank you for posting to say you don't either.

Should I know what his normal number is? Surely it changes throughout the day, I know mine does ( from when I was tracking ovulation).

Also, he's very fair like me so often looks 'rosy cheeked' as soon as it's even slightly warm (I run cold but as soon as the temp outside is 24 or above I am a human puddle - how do people stay so groomed looking during the heat? I'm a sweaty mess!) so I tend not to worry overly if he looks a bit red faced, when I had a fever he was BRIGHT red and had a very particular look, was like an oven all over and very distressed so it was obvious something wasn't right

I don't even own a child's thermometer. I can tell when they're warm and unwell. I also have a background of HA and felt the same, that I would get a bit fixated on it. I see it in friends from antenatal groups as well, they all seem to obsessively take temps after jabs etc and I don't get what benefit know it is 37.9 or 38.1 brings. If they feel hot, I give calpol, and see if they feel cooler after a little while... Certainly not taking it daily!

I don’t take temperatures ever - though I did when kids were little and went through that stage of picking up all the virus's.

If I’m a little unsure I tend to kiss them on the forehead or touch their back. That said though mine have never been seriously unwell 🤞🏻

I wouldn't bother checking what his normal is either.
I have 2 children and I know when they are unwell and have a fever. A thermometer is almost pointless tbh. I only use it to confirm what I already know and to check it's come down after calpol.

Unless they are ill and I suspect a fever, no I do not regularly take their temp. Dh and I (and most likely dds)had covid last year and none of us had a temperature at all.

I've got 3DC and dont even own a thermometer. I certainly haven't and won't be doing this. None of my friends do either - including nurses/matron/GPs.

Thank you, it's making me doubt myself a bit as he rarely feels cool to touch especially in summer or warmer weather, he's always warm...but then I can tell if he's very hot if that makes sense.

This is why I don't check, as you can see I can sink easily into obsessive behaviours with health things unfortunately!

He sometimes feels warm on his back as well but that's when it's hot, he's been running about, been in the sun etc, just eating, just woken up - not hot though, just what I refer to as 'bed toasty'

It sounds like your friends have health anxiety not you tbh (based purely on this thread).

Any time I need to use the thermometer I have to find new batteries it’s used that infrequently.

I take it if she feels hot or seems unwell I don't bother if she seems fine!

okay that's good to know. It made me feel like I was being very flippant in my judgement of how he is. But I've also always said to myself - how is he? Is he eating? Drinking? Playing and engaging and alert? Sleeping normally? Dirty nappies and plenty of wet nappies? No discolouration in whites of eyes or rashes? etc and if he's fine then I just think oh he's a bit warm rather than 'check if he's got a mild fever'

I just think, with the pandemic especially, if I started down that road I wouldn't be able to put the thermometer down and then I'd start on me and DH as well, and then it would be a spiral! I see a therapist weekly and that has helped me to recognise the things that can trigger me but I would hate to not be thorough with DS just because I'm trying to maintain my mental health if you see what I mean. I think it's because she's a nurse as well, it's made me think oh is that what you should be doing!

I'm not even sure where our thermometer is so no, rarely checked here.

When mine were younger I knew what their ‘normal’ temp was (DD2 always ran cold so if she was above 37 she was actually hot) but couldn’t tell you now as they’re all adults now.

I found it helpful to have a baseline figure but certainly not necessary.

My mum was a nurse and went with the ‘red, white and blue’ theory. So long as we weren’t red (bleeding profusely), white (had exposed bone) of blue (not breathing) we were fine!!

@Aberforthsgoat I certainly don’t check everyday. If he feels unusually warm or clammy I’ll check it, or if he’s unsettled and grumpy and everything else has been covered (food/sleep/nappy etc) then I’ll check it incase he’s coming down with something.

I don’t think checking it everyday is healthy for anyone!! There are so many variables that affect temp. I’d be constantly obsessing over a number!! It sounds like your parental instincts and knowing your child and how he is in himself has served you well until now OP, I’d keep doing what you’re doing 😊