AIBU to not take DCs temp every day?

[Aberforthsgoat]

My DC is 19 months, he generally is a hot child I know this from how he feels (His dad is the same and HATES the heat). He gets warmer after eating, when he's tired and when he's been upset and cools down over night or if he (rarely!) sits still. I know all this from the general feel of him.

My good friend is a nurse. I was round hers yesterday when she took her DC's temp and I was a bit take aback as I presumed that meant she thought they were ill so wouldn't have gone round but she said she does it every day to keep a look out for infection and Covid.
She seemed surprised that I don't regularly take DC's temp. She took his while we were there and it was 37.6 which she said was a bit high but fine if he is a warm kid anyway and his temp normally runs in the 37s. I have no real idea if he does, just that he's normally warm and he didn't feel hot hot.

He's not poorly or anything, didn't appear unwell etc so I would have had no reason to check but she's made me feel really irresponsible now for not really knowing. I tend to go by how he is in himself and if he has any symptoms. He's had a proper fever twice in his life and I've recognised this immediately and then taken his temperature and treated it (I'm talking 39).

So as not to dripfeed, I suffer with health anxiety and it used to be very bad, but I'm managing it well now despite the pandemic, so I try to steer clear of things like taking a temperature all the time as I know I'll get obsessed with the numbers and any brief fluctuation up a bit higher than it should be or lower etc.

Do you all take temps regularly? Do you know your DC's 'number' on the thermometer?

@KM38 thank you. I think I would obsess if it was briefly 38, or 37.9 or whatever even if he was well and then I don't think I'd be able to stop taking it and drive myself (and him!) mad. I did something similar on myself when I was TTC and convinced I was ill with something because my temperatiure fluctuated so much so I've been wary and really made a conscious effort to try to manage that without compromising on being vigilant when it comes to DC health

I took my DC temp morning and night in the worst of the pandemic, and I regularly check, I know what is the rough mean of their temp and can see changes in their temp easily, so feel I can spot illness more accurately.

Nope. I've taken my 2 year old's temp 3 times in his life, all within the first 6 months. Since then, I know his "normal" and would check if I was worried.

@PhatPhanny can I ask what you feel you gain from checking so regularly? Parents can spot if their child is unwell without knowing their temperature.
Is there a reason you don't trust your instincts? Sorry I'm not trying to be rude or anything but I genuinely can't see the point in what you do.

[quote Aberforthsgoat]@KM38 thank you. I think I would obsess if it was briefly 38, or 37.9 or whatever even if he was well and then I don't think I'd be able to stop taking it and drive myself (and him!) mad. I did something similar on myself when I was TTC and convinced I was ill with something because my temperatiure fluctuated so much so I've been wary and really made a conscious effort to try to manage that without compromising on being vigilant when it comes to DC health[/quote]
@Aberforthsgoat I would be the same obsessing over over little changes! I think you’re definitely right to try and balance things and just follow your instincts with DCs health! I can only imagine the stress when TTC - it does crazy things to people, nevermind when there’s health anxiety involved! I’m eternity grateful how (very 😅) quickly we conceived our first DC as I know if I’d been TTC for any length of time I would have ended up tracking just about everything possible and I’d have driven myself crazy!

Okay, so I'm not being irresponsible for just thinking he's a warm child generally and not taking it often? If he was showing any signs of being unwell, off his food etc upset not himself then I would take it obviously if he felt hot or seemed off

I know he's always warmer when he gets a tooth through for example even though I know there is no medical evidence for it. Molars were the worst so far!

Definitely not irresponsible. If anything I think constantly checking a child's temperature is irresponsible and will cause anxiety.

I wouldn't feel the need to take mines temperature unless he seemed unwell

@km38 I convinced myself I had a rare blood disorder, a thyroid problem and something else - cancer I think - because my temperature fluctuated so much. It was awful because when you're in the grip of it you really believe it and I really don't want to be like that with DS or pass on my anxieties to him.

I spoke to my other friend who is a GP who said that a rise in temp alone in a well child isn't anything to worry about (within reason obviously) and she doesn't take her DC temp all the time but has just got to know their normal. I think I'm just doubting myself now that I know his normal.

Health anxiety is such an insidious brain worm, the slightest small thing can really send my brain into over drive.

@shouldistop thank you. I would never risk his health obviously, I just don't want to obsess over numbers as I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be the same number throughout the day and then I'd be analysing every jump or drop

OP step away from the thermometer!

I have 3 DC, I only take their temperature to confirm when they have a fever - don’t know why really as IMO a temperature that needs thinking about is one that you can tell by feeling anyway! I had to write the normal range of temperatures on the thermometer because I always forget what ‘normal’ is & what is classed as a high temp.

Honestly I think taking the temperature of a well child is health anxiety.

Oh I haven't taken it don't worry! Purposefully!

@DistrictCommissioner this is why I have made a real effort not to fall into habits like this as I suffer from it so for me it would quickly spiral. I have to work very hard not to panic when he has had a temperature as I know rationally it's a normal part of childhood immunity building and that there are red flags to look out for etc but you don't need to panic every time it happens.

Seeing this happen, and a nurse doing it and talking about it just really made me doubt myself

[quote Aberforthsgoat]@km38 I convinced myself I had a rare blood disorder, a thyroid problem and something else - cancer I think - because my temperature fluctuated so much. It was awful because when you're in the grip of it you really believe it and I really don't want to be like that with DS or pass on my anxieties to him.

I spoke to my other friend who is a GP who said that a rise in temp alone in a well child isn't anything to worry about (within reason obviously) and she doesn't take her DC temp all the time but has just got to know their normal. I think I'm just doubting myself now that I know his normal.

Health anxiety is such an insidious brain worm, the slightest small thing can really send my brain into over drive.[/quote]
@Aberforthsgoat You absolutely DO know his normal though 😊 you know how he normally is - his sleep, his appetite, how he looks, how he normally feels to the touch, situations when he tends to run warmer or cooler. You have answered every one of them just in your few posts 😊 The only thing you can’t do is put a number on it - and 99% of the people replying to this thread have said they couldn’t either 😊 both times he’s been ill and had a fever you’ve known straight away - because you know your child ❤️

My daughter is nearly three and I have never taken her temperature. Some people are absolutely neurotic.

@KM38 thank you so much, one of the things I've found hardest about parenting is trusting my own instincts and my own judgement (largely about health stuff). But you're right, I've outlined these things in my posts

I do but largely because one of mine came back from preschool with a 39.9 temperature and no comments/hints that she might be ill (ate lunch, no more tired than normal for a just turned 3 year old in 1st term of preschool). I only took her temperature because she was due her MMR that afternoon and we always check temperatures before vaccines. In the early days of the pandemic (march/April) we all had lingering coughs (we now suspect we all had Covid in February) so it was the only available monitoring option to us.

Don't want to spread something around school because my DC doesn't tend to show signs of illness so we've been doing daily temperatures since the pandemic started.

Also easier to grab a swab appointment first thing.

Plus it assuages my guilt that we're not doing weekly lateral flows.

I only take their temperatures if they are feeling hot or ill.

You know your child better than anyone, so trust that instinct! When DD was younger, every single cold or virus would result in her getting a fever of 40/41/42. I've seen posters on here previously suggest that any temperature that high should be seen by a medic, but for DD that was normal. She'd be running around quite happily half the time with her fever that high. There are lots of warning signs for severe illness and whilst fever is one, it's certainly not the only one, and how your child is behaving is normally a bigger indicator of how ill they are.

That's understandable though, when DC had a temp of 39.2 it was immediately obvious. Just out of interest @randomsabreuse do you find it's generally the same or varies? I would be dubious just because I expect it would vary and that would make me anxious!

Haha love the red white and blue system. Sounds like you’re doing a perfect job to me op, and your nurse friend is overdoing thangs. I haven’t used our thermometer for years.

thank you @reader12 I struggle because I can't always trust my instincts as I tend to catastrophize due to my health anxiety, so if DC gets a fever I don't believe it's just a fever or something and have to work hard to see things rationally.

I've really worked hard on it though. I really struggled when his first teeth came through for example, as he had an elevated temp, horrible nappies and nappy rash etc all the usual symptoms but I couldn't accept it was teeth and was on the phone to the doctors all the time - he was checked out etc and it was teeth. So I'm trying to avoid anything unnecessary that has the potential to send me spiralling again!

This thread is very helpful though to see a lot of posters don't do it regularly and that it's perhaps more unusual than not.

Can sometimes be a cultural thing. My Italian XP and his family talk about ‘degrees of fever’ if they are even slightly under the weather. I know what is normal for my DC and can tell by touch if they are out of the normal range for them. Thermometers only in the house as provided by grandparents, and can’t remember the last time they were used.

I don’t.

I did briefly with my DS2 because every time he was slightly cranky, which I instinctively knew was because he was adjusting to a new sleep routine, nursery kept taking his temp and saying it was high at 37.6. So I did it regularly for a while to prove myself right that he indeed does just run warm most of the time.

Other than though no. It’s not necessary.

@JustLyra I think I'd find the same if I did DS temp regularly. I suspect he wouldn't often be lower than around 37.5 and possibly higher than that when it's warmer etc. He never seems to feel the cold even in winter!