AIBU to not take DCs temp every day?

[Aberforthsgoat]

My DC is 19 months, he generally is a hot child I know this from how he feels (His dad is the same and HATES the heat). He gets warmer after eating, when he's tired and when he's been upset and cools down over night or if he (rarely!) sits still. I know all this from the general feel of him.

My good friend is a nurse. I was round hers yesterday when she took her DC's temp and I was a bit take aback as I presumed that meant she thought they were ill so wouldn't have gone round but she said she does it every day to keep a look out for infection and Covid.
She seemed surprised that I don't regularly take DC's temp. She took his while we were there and it was 37.6 which she said was a bit high but fine if he is a warm kid anyway and his temp normally runs in the 37s. I have no real idea if he does, just that he's normally warm and he didn't feel hot hot.

He's not poorly or anything, didn't appear unwell etc so I would have had no reason to check but she's made me feel really irresponsible now for not really knowing. I tend to go by how he is in himself and if he has any symptoms. He's had a proper fever twice in his life and I've recognised this immediately and then taken his temperature and treated it (I'm talking 39).

So as not to dripfeed, I suffer with health anxiety and it used to be very bad, but I'm managing it well now despite the pandemic, so I try to steer clear of things like taking a temperature all the time as I know I'll get obsessed with the numbers and any brief fluctuation up a bit higher than it should be or lower etc.

Do you all take temps regularly? Do you know your DC's 'number' on the thermometer?

Eh? I've taken ds's about 3 times in the last decade!

The only thing that worries me is when he starts nursery early next year - should I have a baseline for then? So if they send him home because he's mildly elevated, I'll know if that's normal for him, as I suspect it is

@Oblomov21 I'm so relieved most people don't do this!

[quote Aberforthsgoat]@JustLyra I think I'd find the same if I did DS temp regularly. I suspect he wouldn't often be lower than around 37.5 and possibly higher than that when it's warmer etc. He never seems to feel the cold even in winter![/quote]
Sounds very similar to DS. It takes actual snow to get him out of his shorts! DH and I jokingly add “DS2’s coats” to the list of “things we waste money on” when working out budgets and savings.

You know him so the numbers aren’t necessary.

@Aberforthsgoat

The only thing that worries me is when he starts nursery early next year - should I have a baseline for then? So if they send him home because he's mildly elevated, I'll know if that's normal for him, as I suspect it is

I’d deal with that at the time if you need to.

It was only an issue for us because the nursery had a very strict sleep schedule. In hindsight it wasn’t a good nursery and if I was more experienced and confident I’d have withdrawn DS.

@JustLyra sounds very similar! as soon as we have warm weather he doesn't want any blankets and if it goes over 24 it's nappy only or he won't sleep

My DC are generally very consistent. I vary with my cycle. DH is also consistent (assuming same time of day).

Given your history of HA, it's especially bad for you to do unnecessary health monitoring.

I have a history of eating disorder. For > 20 yrs I refused to have human-weighing-scales in the house. Was sensible precaution for me.

I almost never used thermometers for the kids. I think I liked the forehead one on occasion. DC either felt normal, hot or too hot. I didn't think precise numbers would help me make decisions about whether they were too hot. They made it or are making it to adulthood ok. This laid back strategy worked for us.

I did it at the height of the pandemic, when they were in keyworker school because a) I didn’t think it was fair to school and b) I didn’t want them being sent home.

I’m not even sure where the thermometer is now.

@Justlyra good advice thank you

@lljkk yes this is what I’ve been conscious of. For example I got a little obsessive when we first started weaning as I was a bit OTT in wanting him to get all the “right” nutrients as I was worried about him affecting him negatively and making him prone to illness etc, in quite an obsessive way and had to step back and relax about that. This would be so much worse!

I have only ever taken a temp if they are visibly ill. Even then I would probably just feel them with my hand.
I would not even think of taking a temp of a well child, you’ll be obsessing over every fluctuation.

Thanks mellon

I take DDs a lot because she’s had so many illnesses since nursery and 6 Covid tests. So now we keep a close watch so we can avoid sending her in if there’s a chance she’ll be sent home.
I don’t take it every day all of the time. But for example she was sent home Friday with a temp, which was gone by Sat but she needs to be 48hrs temp free to go back, so taking it morning and night at the moment. It’s 37.6 today which is high for her and if it went to 38 nursery would send her home and she’d need a retest. She’s not going back until it’s 37 or less.
DD loves having it taken and given the chance likes to play taking her temp-sad reflection of Covid on a newborn! Her temp does go up a but when teething and unfortunately we have second molars brewing.

That makes sense megan hope she’s better soon. DC is always much warmer when he has a teeth coming through and actually had a proper fever when his molars came through :(

He’s not in nursery at the moment so we don’t have to keep tabs on him temp wise for anything like that

I don’t own a thermometer!

Thank you all
Quick question - it’s normal for them to feel warmer on a hot day isn’t it?! Just trying to keep my anxiety in check!

I’m going to continue to judge by kids/hand and behaviour

@shouldistop
Extremely rude and judgemental.
DC has medical issues, no issues with my instinct thanks.

yes warmer on hot day.

Look at whole child in front of you & if they are basically happy or not in themselves. That's what matters, not a device number.

@PhatPhanny I think that was more directed at my friend than you. Of course if DC has health issues you would absolutely want to be more vigilant

Thanks @alardi that’s what I tend to do.
I kind of feel as though if he’s absolutely normal and happy and fine in himself it wouldn’t matter what the thermometer said anyway (within reason obviously!)

I take my DCs tenoeratures faitly regularly but thats because I always have cold hands and struggle to tell if they are just a bit warm from playing/running about or are unwell.

Plus DS2 likes the beeping from the forehead thermometer so I let him hold it when I change his nappy.

I work in a school and we have a group of parents who must do this (pre-pandemic too) - we have a wee core group of kids who are often off for single days with (what is described by their parents as) “a slight fever”.

I have no idea how they know other than constantly taking it.

Thanks all.

It has weedled into my brain a bit anxiety wise. I keep thinking that yes I know what a proper high fever feels like but how would I know if he was say 37.9/38 most days? If he had an underlying UTI for example and that was his only symptom? I wouldn’t know what that felt like I might think like I do now that he’s just a bit warm.

But I know this is my anxious brain latching onto the circumstances so I think I’ll try to stop thinking about it now

My two boys are polar opposite, I have one that would wear shorts in the snow because he is hot. And the other would wear a hoody in the sun. Unless you know they are ill, don't worry everybody's temps are different.

Do they feel different to touch?