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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my neighbour a cf? what do I say?

171 replies

Pleaseleavemealone · 15/06/2021 11:38

morning,
have slightly changed so as not to out..
yesterday I knocked into my neighbours car and slightly cosmetically damaged it. Was not on the body work but on a plastic part that can be taken off and easily put back on. Of course I immediately offered to replace this part, and neighbour says yes we'll look on the internet for a part. So ive looked on the internet and found a new part, about to order only to get a message from neighbour saying "this is the quote we've got, its X amount, hope that's ok we'll let you know when its finished".
They had already booked it in to be fixed in the garage at that point without saying anything to me, as I was under the impression that we were just going to get a part from the internet. Believe me when I say this is the easiest fix, a child could do it. Its literally screwing a bit of plastic on. Thing is, the garage they have gone to has charged extortionate prices (think 3.5x what I estimated), inflated money for the part and obviously charged for labour, which I'm not happy about as it's literally a ten minute easy job that can absolutely be done by yourself.
I don't even have this kind of money, it would have even been a stretch for me to pay the price I thought it would be.
I know it's ultimately their decision on how they get their car fixed, but I really feel my neighbour didn't have to take it to a top of the range garage and is being ridiculous expecting me to hand over that money without discussion.

OP posts:
Thereluctantgrownup · 16/06/2021 17:50

There's only one CF here, and it's definitely not your neighbours 🙄

Madjakelmum · 16/06/2021 17:54

OP very quiet??
Obviously didn’t get the response they wanted!!

keeptheaspidistra · 16/06/2021 18:02

So you damaged their car, they wanted it to be fixed by a qualified professional, you wanted to do it yourself with whatever was the cheapest thing you could order online but THEY are the CF's? Yep, makes sense to me.

Milesbennettdyson · 16/06/2021 18:04

I agree with @summersolstice43 I wouldn’t let you repair my car.

You either pay where I choose or I claim off your insurance and the repair may have been lower than your excess.

You are being the CF not them

TopBlogger · 16/06/2021 18:09

OPeeeeeeeeee, where are you?!

Thewinterofdiscontent · 16/06/2021 18:19

God people are weird.
It’s a minor cosmetic thing. Cars depreciate the minute someone owns them.
Why dies it need a “professional” repair. Don”t any of you change your own tyres when they get damaged?

Brainwave89 · 16/06/2021 18:19

It is a big advantage that your insurance has not been used- your NCB would be at risk and the cost would be quite high, as well as raising your premium because you would have to note a no-fault claim on your insurance. YABU that your neighbour should spend time fixing his car. It is reasonable for them to have a garage do this work, and they will charge a bit more for the part. S

bigbaggyeyes · 16/06/2021 18:23

It's up to the owners of the car you damaged, go through your insurance co if you can't afford or don't want to pay what they are asking. It might seem unfair but you hit their car so I'm afraid you have to swallow it

Titterofwit · 16/06/2021 18:26

If you knocked into a car with your own car you have to go through insurance if thats what the other party wants. Im afraid you dont get to choose.There could be other damage caused besides what you can see on the surface. I have experienced this to my cost.
However, if you knocked into their car with something else at low speed- a mobility scooter or pushchair thats another thing altogether.
In the 2nd case I would be open to you sourcing the new part and getting it fixed as the damage would definitely be cosmetic.
But without this vital information we are all just blowing in the wind.

RampantIvy · 16/06/2021 18:26

@Thewinterofdiscontent

God people are weird. It’s a minor cosmetic thing. Cars depreciate the minute someone owns them. Why dies it need a “professional” repair. Don”t any of you change your own tyres when they get damaged?
A lot of "cosmetic" damage is not cosmetic. Cars are designed to have a crumple zone to reduce impact. Until a garage gets to look at it we don't know how much actual damage has been sustained.
Dnaltocs · 16/06/2021 18:32

Some are excessively precious about their overly expense cars. Sadly for you it’s pay time.

Bet you don’t admit next time you clip a car!
I do feel they’re being ott but it’s the unforgiving world at present.

Ideasplease322 · 16/06/2021 18:33

My neighbour damaged my car and suggested all kinds of cheap fixes. I got three quotes and went with the cheapest, they were clearly unhappy.

But I was without my car for two days, had the inconvenience of getting quotes etc and they still felt hard done by.

You damage someone’s property you should pay for it to be fixed. Sounds like you wanted a crappy diy job. Your are the CF.

ihtwsf · 16/06/2021 18:33

They are perfectly entitled to take it to whatever garage they want to get it repaired. Perhaps their car is under guarantee and all repairs have to be carried out at a particular dealership. Perhaps they wanted to get the car checked out in case their was unseen damage.
They do not have to accept your offer of sourcing a cheap part on the internet and fitting it yourself. What if there are further issues down the line because of this?

You damaged the car. You have to pay. That's all there is to it. You could have gone through your insurance.

iduno · 16/06/2021 18:41

We had similar but not with a neighbour. Dh bumped the car in the snow, car just wouldn't stop and bumped in to the car infront at slow speed. Very little damage. No damage to dh car at all. Not worth going through insurance.

Guy who's car was damaged then called us back and said his mate would fix it which will be much cheaper etc and wanted nearly £1000! We promptly told him we would just go through insurance.

That's exactly what u shld do. Say we agreed I'd source the part and replace it. I don't have the money to pay 3 or 4 times that so we will need to go through my insurance.

Somersetlady · 16/06/2021 18:48

No you are a cf for damaging their car and then thinking you can do a DIY repair job.

cherish123 · 16/06/2021 18:55

You can't tell them to do.it themselves. Fair enough they went to the garage. Tell them to get another quote as you feel it's extortionate or go through your insurance company.

L123A · 16/06/2021 19:12

Is the same neighbours you already have a dispute with?

cricketmum84 · 16/06/2021 19:31

Sorry but no they aren't CFs for wanting their car fixed properly. We had a similar incident when the NDNs car handbrake failed and rolled into ours and damaged it.

They wanted us to buy a part off the internet and fix it ourselves.

We wanted it fixed properly and for them to go through their insurance.

It's really not unreasonable to want an expensive item like a car fixed properly.

Shona52 · 16/06/2021 19:34

It's not your choice how someone gets their car fixed when you damaged it. I had this when some one hit me and tried to say there wasn't much damage said it's just a scratch. Type of car I had it was well over £1k damage.

They are with in their rights to go wherever they what to get it fixed. If you can't afford it you need to put it though insurance sorry they anbu

ThursdayWeld · 16/06/2021 19:43

You are the CF here.

Dizzybrunette445 · 16/06/2021 19:51

What is a CF? Sorry :/

Benjispruce3 · 16/06/2021 20:01

I think it’s their choice. They want it fixed to their standards and I don’t blame them. I damaged a neighbours car. Had to go through insurance as the whole panel had to be replaced even though the damage was tiny. Just have to suck it up I’m afraid.

notthemum · 16/06/2021 20:06

Usually the claimant would be asked to collect two/three quotes.
Personally I would insist that this went through the insurance. May be a bit expensive but definately better for you in the long run.

By the way. They are not cheeky. You are.
You have damaged their car.

southerngirl10 · 16/06/2021 20:12

First off, I think it's good of you to own up do causing the damage in the first place. Not everyone does!

Could you explain to them that if you fix it, it will look as good as it was? You will be fixing on a brand new part and if you only need a couple of screws, etc. I don't think you're being unreasonable.

What's your relationship with them like?

mam0918 · 16/06/2021 20:24

@Thewinterofdiscontent

God people are weird. It’s a minor cosmetic thing. Cars depreciate the minute someone owns them. Why dies it need a “professional” repair. Don”t any of you change your own tyres when they get damaged?
You change your own tires?

How?

You need actual heavy duty machinary that cost hundreds to pop a tyre off a wheel and change it and to do do it properly you also need equiptment to remove the corrosion that builds up so you get a good fit with the new tire.

Unless you just mean wacking on your spare wheel from the boot which isnt a fix lol.