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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my neighbour a cf? what do I say?

171 replies

Pleaseleavemealone · 15/06/2021 11:38

morning,
have slightly changed so as not to out..
yesterday I knocked into my neighbours car and slightly cosmetically damaged it. Was not on the body work but on a plastic part that can be taken off and easily put back on. Of course I immediately offered to replace this part, and neighbour says yes we'll look on the internet for a part. So ive looked on the internet and found a new part, about to order only to get a message from neighbour saying "this is the quote we've got, its X amount, hope that's ok we'll let you know when its finished".
They had already booked it in to be fixed in the garage at that point without saying anything to me, as I was under the impression that we were just going to get a part from the internet. Believe me when I say this is the easiest fix, a child could do it. Its literally screwing a bit of plastic on. Thing is, the garage they have gone to has charged extortionate prices (think 3.5x what I estimated), inflated money for the part and obviously charged for labour, which I'm not happy about as it's literally a ten minute easy job that can absolutely be done by yourself.
I don't even have this kind of money, it would have even been a stretch for me to pay the price I thought it would be.
I know it's ultimately their decision on how they get their car fixed, but I really feel my neighbour didn't have to take it to a top of the range garage and is being ridiculous expecting me to hand over that money without discussion.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 15/06/2021 12:07

@Whyhello

If it’s an easy fix I’d offer to buy the part and fit it for them.
And if it were my car I'd do what the neighbours did and take it to a garage to get it properly checked.

So...

GintyMcGinty · 15/06/2021 12:08

Sorry if you can't or don't want to pay the amount then you need to claim on your insurance.

They are not cf. They just want the job done properly.

toto23 · 15/06/2021 12:10

You hit their car, how are they being unreasonable?

SlothMama · 15/06/2021 12:11

Go through your insurance, I don't blame them for wanting to have it fixed properly. They are not CF, if anything you are being one!

viques · 15/06/2021 12:11

The protocol is

Either

You offer to go through insurance and they say ok.

Or
You offer to go through insurance, but they are happy to get a diy repair so they then say, “no that’s ok, I will get my friend to fix it, you can pay for the part and their Labour” .

You finding the cheapest part on the internet and offering to diy isn’t what you do.

Nothingoriginalhere · 15/06/2021 12:11

YABU
I would go through my insurance for any accident, and would not let my neighbour who had damaged my car near it to repair it!

BerylReader · 15/06/2021 12:14

We did the nice thing when a student bumped our car. The repair was initially fine but then cosmetically deteriorated. We couldn’t then go back to the student and ask for more money. I always recommend going through insurance.

Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 15/06/2021 12:14

You’re a CF for damaging their car, looking on the internet for a part and then expecting them or you to just fit this?
Go through your insurance if you can’t afford it.

BerylReader · 15/06/2021 12:15

Also, they can go down the route that you haven’t declared the accident to your insurance if they wanted to causing further problems when applying for insurance. They are not being cheeky

VettiyaIruken · 15/06/2021 12:16

They don't have to accept you fixing it. They want a professional to do it. That's not unreasonable.

You don't have to pay them the amount they've asked for either.

You don't have to accept that garage doing it. You could say sorry no, that's an inflated price imo, I'd rather you claim on my insurance.

But you cannot expect them to accept you going round with the part and a screwdriver or you taking the part round and telling them to do it.

JellyTumble · 15/06/2021 12:17

@Stompythedinosaur

I guess you can pay or go through insurance.

I would take my car to a garage if it was damaged.

This. There’s no way I would be accepting a ten minute screw job from the Internet just because you damaged my car and can’t afford it.
warmandtoasty2day · 15/06/2021 12:18

sorry op you're the cf you caused the damage, use your insurance if it need be. you didn't really think peeps were going to agree with you did you ?

Flowerlane · 15/06/2021 12:20

Yabu if you had hit my car then it would be going into the garage to be repaired not being down by you or myself. It might seem like nothing to you but for many they might not feel comfortable driving a car that hasn’t been properly repaired even if it is something small.

You are going to have to suck this one up and pay it. It was your mistake for hitting the car.

Nightbear · 15/06/2021 12:20

You hit their car. You damaged their car. They’re entitled to get it fixed professionally.

TheQueef · 15/06/2021 12:21

It's just one of those things.
You didn't mean it but you did it so you pay for it.

I wouldn't want a diy repair from the neighbour if it was my car.

drpet49 · 15/06/2021 12:21

I would wonder if they got other minor repairs fixed at the same time, at your expense.

No way back now- go through your car insurance to sort this out.

NeedNewKnees · 15/06/2021 12:21

You are totally unreasonable!

You hit their car. You don't get to pick where it's repaired or how much it will cost. Cough up or go through your insurer.

Myxisaprat · 15/06/2021 12:22

@Pleaseleavemealone

morning, have slightly changed so as not to out.. yesterday I knocked into my neighbours car and slightly cosmetically damaged it. Was not on the body work but on a plastic part that can be taken off and easily put back on. Of course I immediately offered to replace this part, and neighbour says yes we'll look on the internet for a part. So ive looked on the internet and found a new part, about to order only to get a message from neighbour saying "this is the quote we've got, its X amount, hope that's ok we'll let you know when its finished". They had already booked it in to be fixed in the garage at that point without saying anything to me, as I was under the impression that we were just going to get a part from the internet. Believe me when I say this is the easiest fix, a child could do it. Its literally screwing a bit of plastic on. Thing is, the garage they have gone to has charged extortionate prices (think 3.5x what I estimated), inflated money for the part and obviously charged for labour, which I'm not happy about as it's literally a ten minute easy job that can absolutely be done by yourself. I don't even have this kind of money, it would have even been a stretch for me to pay the price I thought it would be. I know it's ultimately their decision on how they get their car fixed, but I really feel my neighbour didn't have to take it to a top of the range garage and is being ridiculous expecting me to hand over that money without discussion.
Op I’ve re read. Did you knock their car with your car? Or something else?
MissingTheMoonlight · 15/06/2021 12:26

I'd think someone was joking if they offered to do what you're suggesting.
It's a fine option if you were fixing your own car but definitely not something you can offer someone else. Car needs to be fixed by a professional. Go through your insurance if you can't afford the bill.

(And you have my sympathy. I dented a neighbour's car when reversing out of my drive and it cost me £600!)

Melliphant · 15/06/2021 12:26

Well a thread that shows that it's not just men who are weird about cars. There are countless bits of car that can be repaired perfectly well, safely and and un-noticeably using bits ordered from the internet, and you're every bit as likely to do it properly as the apprentice in the garage who's earning £10 an hour but being charged out at £80.

However, as has been said, it's their car and their decision. Tell them you'll have to make an insurance claim and ask for their insurance details. At that point they'll probably change their minds and go DIY. Otherwise you'll have to make a claim, but it'll probably still cost less than just paying the garage bill.

DM1209 · 15/06/2021 12:28

I would want my car repaired professionally, irrelevant of how easy the person who damaged it thought it would be to get fixed.

You can't dictate how they proceed, you damaged their property so they dictate how it's fixed.

If it is that difficult for you, declare the accident and go through your insurer.

RampantIvy · 15/06/2021 12:28

You don't know that the damage is only cosmetic. Cars are designed to deal with impacts and there can be quite a lot of hidden damage. They are doing the right thing by going to a garage.

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 12:28

Tbh if you damaged their car why would they have any confidence you could fix it?

RaspberryCoulis · 15/06/2021 12:29

@UhtredRagnarson

Yes they’re sticking the arm in. Tell them you have sourced the part online and are able to replace it yourself.
If I were the neighbour, I'd be saying absolutely not to that.

My car's not a Ferrari, just your standard mum bus, but it's serviced and fixed by the local garage, not the well-meaning neighbour with a part sourced online and with the guidance of a YouTube video.

Go through your insurance.

mam0918 · 15/06/2021 12:30

Unless you are a fully qualified mechanic you have zero right to claim something is easy and DIY and even if you are they have a right to choose to go elsewhere.

There could be damage you cant even see, we crashed last year with pretty much zero cosmetic damage but it crumpled the chasis which is pretty serious damage (chasis is the skeleton of the car - just like how a human can break a bone without damaging the skin).

They have every right to have it checked proffesionally and fixed your option is to either pay privately or to go through your insurance which will effect you worse in the long run - remember this is YOUR fault not theirs.

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