To think you are lucky if....

[LemonSherbetFancies]

You are 2 working parents with well paid jobs and are also able to do the school pick ups everyday?

Perfectly reasonable thought.

This was mostly us. DH and I both are employed and were able to pick DD up 4 days out of 5 (she disliked going to after school club). I considered we were very fortunate to be able to do this. DD was happier and it cost us less than paying for clubs.

Yes. I agree. Very lucky. Though at the same time it may not be "pure" luck in the sense that decisions and planning may have happened to try and make this happen, and other opportunities may have been given up that you may not know about.

Not lucky, worked bloody hard to be in that position.

I'm in that position. I've worked so hard since I left school. Took every qualification offered to me, every training course, every grotty job that nobody wanted. I earn well now and work part time so do the school runs every day.

But it can also be hard as a couple. I earn a decent wage, although my husbands is just above living wage and we both work 12 hour shifts. One of us is always there for pickup/drop offs, parents evenings, school events but means that we rarely see each other! I wouldn't say we are lucky, my husband is staying in a job he doesn't really like and very limited potential as it is flexible with his days and can work around mine, I still go 3-4 days a week not seeing my kids due to long shifts plus travel time.

@irregularegular has hit the nail on the head. 👍

Not sure how much is down to luck considering the work we've both put in to get into this position...

I sacrificed salary to move into a role that was WFH and flexible. Prior to that, I was up at 0445 so that could leave the office to do the school run. 20 years in a sector that gave me experience to start picking roles that suited me. Lucky yes, but it was planned luck.

Like most things it's a combination of luck, planning and hard work.....

DH and I are “lucky” enough to be in this situation. Only it’s not really luck as we’ve both worked bloody hard (& full time) through the preschool years to get to this level and to have the flexibility we have.

In my circle, anecdotally, sacrificing your career to be a SAHP or very pt when kids are young often goes hand in hand with a lower paid and less flexible job once the kids are in school.

[quote Metallicalover]@irregularegular has hit the nail on the head. 👍[/quote]
Yes. It wasn't luck. It was decisions, planning and work. But I do count our ability to do this as fortunate..

What would you consider a well paid job? We both earn a reasonable salary and I can do the school run since taking permanent wfh. Don't think it was luck though as I specifically targeted jobs that would work well around family life. The work is boring and I feel I could be doing something much more fulfilling if I didn't choose to prioritise flexibility.

You can't actually imagine you're being unreasonable, op?

We are in that situation due to being able to wfh since lockdown

Motivation and hard work are great qualities to have and are formidable cards in the game of life but they don't hold a torch to bad luck. So yes, I consider it pretty lucky if you are ticking the boxes that are meaningful to you.

We’re in this position, and it doesn’t always feel lucky at 11pm at night when I’m still working to get everything done because I clocked off at 3pm to do the school run and be around for the post-school to bedtime period. I do appreciate how lucky I am to have that choice though.

People shouldn't feel so smug - I'm also in a flexible job but understand how much luck plays in all aspects of life. People saying " we worked hard and earned it" Don't you see how much of what you end up with is even good fortune that you were able to get such opportunities that your "hard work" paid off. People would be so much more realistic if they accepted that all success has a HUGE element of luck and fortune,and that lots of people haven't had the same opportunities from the start.

Not lucky, no. We made it happen. Like a lot of things in life, you'll be waiting a long time for things to fall into your lap.

Like everything in life there are trade offs. DH and I could cover the school run between us, but meant both working shifts and often not seeing each other for days at a time. It was a choice we made though and it worked for us.

Of course luck is involved. Do you think all the best sports people are the best and most talented in their field or is there an element of luck at some point, someone who saw something in them, right time right place. I'm lucky to be a sahp, I know that to be able to make that decision we've had to work hard and make sacrifices but I consider us lucky that the choices we made paid of and that we were in a position to make these choices. I'm sure there's loads of people who have worked as hard as us and are in worse positions and similarly there are people who work as hard as us and are in better.

When you phrase it like that, of course. Anyone who can afford to support their family is lucky. But if you’re talking about a particular individual situation there are too many variables to say yes or no.

Another agree with @irregularegular.

For me, it was more sacrifice and personal decisions than luck.

To enable us to do school picks every day. I worked at a college rather than a school. I lost 10K a year in potential earnings, but the greater flexibility in working was worth it.

Likewise, my DH made the decision to work locally and leave working in the city. This decision cost him 15k a year, but we felt it was worth it to have him home every day, so we could eat as a family.

Yes, we were lucky to be able to be there every day and to have that family time, and I wouldn't swap those precious years for anything. But it does mean we have a much smaller house than we could have had, older cars and not surely nice holidays. It's all about priorities I guess, and our priority was family time.

I agree. It’s only due to Covid and a shift to working from home that it’s happened for us though.

It would have been DH drop off 3 days, me pick up 3 days and a combo of breakfast / after school club and grandparents for the other days.

I’m really happy we’re able to do all pick ups / drop offs. Grandparents are doing it today, and it’s a huge treat. DC1 has asked if she can do after school clubs next year, but that’s more for the social aspect.

I think people are fortunate if they have the flexibility to make choices that suit them.
For me, I choose to pay for wraparound 3 days so I can completely focus at work and be good at my job, which then buys me the credibility to work 3 days at a senior level.
I don't feel this is down to luck though, it's working hard to reach a good income level before having dc, so I'm in a position to not be in a shitty minimum wage job that dictates my life.