To think you are lucky if....

[LemonSherbetFancies]

You are 2 working parents with well paid jobs and are also able to do the school pick ups everyday?

@TheDevils

Like most things it's a combination of luck, planning and hard work.....

Exactly this. DH and I can do the nursery run between us, however we both worked hard to get where we are in our careers, and have both had to take a step back in order to make this work for us.

We had no option as we don't have any family available nearby to help as they all also work.

I feel lucky in the sense that we were able to make those decisions (not forgetting that we've both had to sacrifice our careers). I feel unlucky for not having parents that are able to help with babysitting or the odd nursery runs.

I could do most pick ups, and earn well. Single parent though.

Was I lucky? Yes.

Did I also have a high mortgage and have less money as a result to buy a house 5 mins walk from the school, and had I turned down three promotions to stay in this position of picking up? Also yes.

Yes of course it is good, people who have family for childcare might be considered lucky too or a family when one parent can afford to be at home.
Life is tough in general.
I worked shit shift work for years until last year to do collection and pickup, we all do and sacrifice what we can, it isn't luck it's life.
My sympathy goes to the parent doing it alone.

@idontlikealdi

Not lucky, worked bloody hard to be in that position.

Yes to this.

My kids are 8 and 6 and it has been through working opposing shifts with my DH for three years and then using a childminder for another three years. Only now are we able to do both school drop offs and pick ups between DH and I.

Same with getting jobs to work around school hours, it takes hard graft and being willing to work all hours until something comes up that is flexible. It doesn't just magically land in people's laps, like they seem to think it does.

Yes that's us

It's taken me 12 years to get here, but yes I am very lucky. Both in full time work, both get weekends and evenings off. DH does the school run every morning and I do the pick up 3 days out of 5. Childcare is now reduced to £20 a week for 2 days of after school club, down from £900 a month at its height. God knows how we survived that.

Though saying that I have made sacrifices as work to be able to work the hours I do and it has taken years, a house move and lots of effort so not entirely luck.

Urgh I hate the “I’ve worked bloody hard” statement. You may have, but that implies that anyone else not in your position hasn’t and most often that is highly untrue and offensive. My parents were the hardest workers I knew but due to long hours in multiple jobs to keep a roof over our heads it often meant I would have to come home alone last year of primary school (after my Nan passed away away and couldn’t collect me) and most of the time in high school. Just because we struggled doesn’t mean they weren’t hard workers, just had a whole set of different circumstances to the fortunate ones who also worked hard and ended up in a different position. Education, socio-economic background etc all play a part.

Yes, very lucky. So many employers still insist on 9-5 in the office - and you only have to read the WFH threads to realise how many MNetters still ascribe to the view that businesses must have all their employees at a desk in the office from those hours (as a minimum) in order to function - and that caring commitments of any type are not to be accommodated in any way, shape or form.

I guess in that context and 'bubble' of living expectations yes. But if someone would much prefer to be at home because they don't suit the rates race then it wouldn't be considered lucky at all.

Oh and away with your ‘I’ve worked hard’ nonsense. Most adults in this country work hard - but hard work doesn’t equal flexible working.

You can pat yourself on the back for working "bloody" hard and planning but some jobs just don't accommodate school pick ups. Which is what OP is talking about - nursery pickups are doable for a least one parent out of necessity.

I always find these threads really interesting- especially those posts that emphatically deny that luck or chance has played any part..... and that to acknowledge luck or chance means you've not work hard.

I'm a university academic and I teach a module on theories of occupational choice and career development and the theory that resonates with the vast majority of my students is the one that acknowledges luck and chance alongside planning and attitude.

I.was massively lucky to be able to do this. DC allowed me to drop DC to school at 7.30am. I then worked from 7.45am to 3pm (no lunch) and then collected DC after school. DH worked 9-5.

School was also on the way to work so made this even easier.

I did forward planning by getting a role which had huge flexibility but I'd never be able to do it if it wasn't for the school being so amazing.

I consider myself very lucky to be able to do this. DH and I both fell into jobs that pay quite well and allow a great deal of flexibility. That’s definitely lucky. I was also able to go to university and choose a career I wanted, which my parents weren’t able to do as they were forced to leave school early to help support their families, which limited their career options, so I consider myself very lucky there too. However, to maintain this level of flexibility, we can’t progress in our careers as it would mean working longer hours and being available for work at all times. That part is planning rather than luck.

We also have family members who work opposite shifts to ensure their children are cared for. I wouldn’t consider it particularly lucky to work night shifts every night and rarely see your DP.

@NonagonInfinityOpensTheDoor

Urgh I hate the “I’ve worked bloody hard” statement. You may have, but that implies that anyone else not in your position hasn’t and most often that is highly untrue and offensive. My parents were the hardest workers I knew but due to long hours in multiple jobs to keep a roof over our heads it often meant I would have to come home alone last year of primary school (after my Nan passed away away and couldn’t collect me) and most of the time in high school. Just because we struggled doesn’t mean they weren’t hard workers, just had a whole set of different circumstances to the fortunate ones who also worked hard and ended up in a different position. Education, socio-economic background etc all play a part.

Totally agree with this.

The notion that anyone not in a financially independent situation, or with a high enough pay grade or good enough job title just doesn't work hard enough is so short sighted.
Many of you who worked so hard wouldn't be able to enjoy the fruits of your labour without the hard working, but low paid and low respected jobs out there enabling that.
The people who look after your children, the people who look after your elderly and vulnerable relatives, the people who clean your work spaces, who deliver the things you need to do your job, the people who serve you your weekly shop...... The list goes on.
They work hard, it's just their work isn't valued.

Same with getting jobs to work around school hours, it takes hard graft and being willing to work all hours until something comes up that is flexible. It doesn't just magically land in people's laps, like they seem to think it does.

Acknowledging luck doesn't mean you think things happen by magic.

Guess it's really hard to unpick luck. It's defined as good things that happen to you by chance, not because of your own efforts or abilities.

I personally think many people are where they want to be, or near enough, because they worked hard and planned well. It doesn't mean I think people who are not where they want to be didn't work hard or plan well.

Maybe people will have bad luck happen to them.

Dh and I are both self employed and both take and pick up the children every day, both go to every school event. It's lucky because we've worked our nuts off to be in these jobs, with no security, no sick pay, no help whatsoever.

Yes. We were lucky to be able to sort that with a mixture of juggling and also doing a car pool from very early (and not just for working parents’ benefit. SAHPs don’t necessarily want to charge to school every day at 3ish.

Why are some people offended by those saying they've worked hard?! Some people do work harder than others. Some people coast in their jobs. Some people have better opportunities, or quicker brains, or a better attitude, or more reliable health. This obsession with everyone being equal is bollocks. We're not all equal.

@starbrightstarlight8888

I'm in that position. I've worked so hard since I left school. Took every qualification offered to me, every training course, every grotty job that nobody wanted. I earn well now and work part time so do the school runs every day.

Love this ! Well done you! 💕

@melonhead

Why are some people offended by those saying they've worked hard?! Some people do work harder than others. Some people coast in their jobs. Some people have better opportunities, or quicker brains, or a better attitude, or more reliable health. This obsession with everyone being equal is bollocks. We're not all equal.

Why are some people so offended by the acknowledgement of luck?

As someone who researches, teaches and writes about career development I can say with some confidence that it's is all a mixture of luck, hard work and attitude.

TheDevils I totally accept some luck, but not only luck. It feels dismissive of effort.