Surely it's all about choice?
Yes, ultimately I suppose it is about choices, but which choices are available and workable to us as individuals also relies on other people's choices too.
I didn't have the range of choices open to me once I became a single parent, that I did as part of a couple. I became a single parent because of someone else's choice to leave and not honour the commitment made in any way, shape or form.
That choice of someone else removed some choices for me full stop as although yes, they were still there, the situation I was in meant I couldn't access them, or wasn't in a position to even know they existed in the first place.
I have made choices since then, obviously, but they were limited to what was feasible, so working every hour I could, meaning I was seen as a reliable and hard worker, was a choice I made within the scope of the choices available to me. That led to me having a good work record, and excellent references to my advantage. But at that time employers (at least here, in low paid jobs) were reluctant to take on single parents, I consider myself lucky that I had a prospective employer that was willing (or desperate enough!) To give me the opportunity to prove myself.
And yes I did work hard, and still do, but the work I've done over the years isn't as valued or respected by society as some is, therefore doesn't carry the same in terms of reward.
For example, I can not afford to give up work and finance a vet degree. Does that opportunity exist? Yes, of course it does, but I'm not in a position to take that opportunity. I am however in a position to support my DD in doing that - but it will largely also depend on other people's choices - if they choose to give her extra tuition at this stage to catch up on what she missed during covid etc, if they choose that she can be funded to attend university.
For my part I've chosen to do vocational education through my work place, I'm lucky in the respect that my employer chose to pay for it, as I couldn't, they probably chose to based on my work record and that's because I do work hard, but I'm also lucky in the respect that I was given the opportunity to work hard and get that reputation - again the choice of someone else to give me the opportunity to do that.
It will benefit me as I'll be more qualified and command more money - but I'll have to work at it.
So a combination of factors.
The difference is I'm coming at this as someone who's pretty much always done low paid work, it doesn't require the academic level of training that some jobs do, but that doesn't mean that it requires any less effort, or reliance upon luck, or reliance upon others choices that other roles do.
It's the idea that someone in low paid, low academic work just hasn't worked hard enough that I find offensive, sure, some people don't work hard, but it's not a given that if you do, you will flourish and if you don't, then you won't. I know a few people who are quite frankly lazy and entitled, but their parents have built a business that they've walked into the top of - they haven't worked hard to get there.