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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to share a room with someone on a trip with friends?

81 replies

juice92 · 13/06/2021 20:50

My friends and I have been talking about going for a weekend away together next year (in this country). We would be staying in a hotel as oppose to any sort of house share/air bnb. All of us are women and I would say that I am fairly close to all of them.

I don't want to share a room with someone else. I like to have space on my own at the end of the evening and I also like having my own bathroom.

There are an even number of us going so I understand that will ultimately leave someone else in a room they have to pay for by themselves. To accommodate this I have offered to pay some additional money on top of the cost of my hotel room.

I have been called strange and awkward for not wanting to share a room.

AIBU? And would you be happy to share a room with friends?

OP posts:
Original poster
juice92 · 13/06/2021 20:51

Also to not drip feed, I have ibs and snore. It would be fairly unpleasant for someone else to share a room with me.

OP posts:
Bksjshsbbev2737 · 13/06/2021 20:51

I’d be happy sharing a room but I don’t think it’s strange for you to not want to especially when you’re offering to pay extra

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 13/06/2021 20:52

I would prefer not to share. But I do share to make life easier for everyone.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/06/2021 20:53

I don't share rooms with anyone except my husband. End of. I am not "strange" or "awkward", and neither are you. How can it be awkward to do something that has no impact on anyone else whatsoever? Bottom line is I want my privacy, and that doesn't hurt anyone else.

I wouldn't expect friends to call you names for something so innocuous, honestly.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 13/06/2021 20:53

I'm paying £80 extra on our girls trip so I get my own room.

ChaosMoon · 13/06/2021 20:54

I'm happy to share with my friends but you aren't unreasonable for not wanting to. It's good of you to pay extra to help cover the other person's excess.

Original poster
juice92 · 13/06/2021 20:55

@Aquamarine1029

I don't share rooms with anyone except my husband. End of. I am not "strange" or "awkward", and neither are you. How can it be awkward to do something that has no impact on anyone else whatsoever? Bottom line is I want my privacy, and that doesn't hurt anyone else.

I wouldn't expect friends to call you names for something so innocuous, honestly.

@Aquamarine1029 you have described exactly how I feel!
OP posts:
Imapotato · 13/06/2021 20:56

I think it’s personal preference. I don’t mind sharing with a good friend that I’ve known for some time, but I declined the offer of sharing on a recent trip with someone I get one with well, but have only met in person a few times. Thought it might be a bit awkward.

You do you. It doesn’t matter.

fourandnomore · 13/06/2021 20:57

You are being entirely reasonable and if doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, that’s so rude of them. IBS and snoring aside, you are entitled to your own feelings of what you are comfortable with. You can get triple rooms now in loads of places or family rooms, often for not much more than a single/double so you pay for your single room and they can sort their own, although with that attitude I would be saying no thanks, so sorry they’re being so rubbish.

joystir59 · 13/06/2021 20:57

I fidget,snore and gave to go to the loo In the night, so I hate sharing a room

Wondergirl100 · 13/06/2021 20:58

I don't share either and I'm an outgoing sociable person in other regards. I would not go to a place or event where I had to share a room with anyone other than my husband!

fourandnomore · 13/06/2021 20:59

Oh and I have shared rooms loads of times and don’t mind but I would never judge anyone else’s preference and always check if organise something. In fact I checked with the girls I shared a home with for 2 years if they wanted to share or not when booking a hotel for us and would have thought nothing of it if they’d said they preferred their own space.

ElderMillennial · 13/06/2021 21:02

I don't think you're unreasonable not to share and it's generous of you to pay extra. You shouldn't need to.

FlatStanletta · 13/06/2021 21:02

That isn’t unreasonable at all! I would usually prefer to have my own room too, although I have shared and will share if need be. I certainly wouldn’t think it was weird if someone was happier to get their own room and pay for the privilege (especially given that it’s an even number so someone would be lumbered with the extra cost of their own room anyway!)

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 13/06/2021 21:02

I’d pay extra for my own room too, dislike sharing and like my own space and privacy. If friends judged, I’d simply not attend.

maddening · 13/06/2021 21:02

Yanbu, I would check out if the hotel has any family rooms and the they can have a 3 person room (possibly even cheaper). Your room will be pricier anyway so don't see why you should pay on top if they can get a 3 person room.

rookiemere · 13/06/2021 21:03

YANBU, it's personal preference and nobody's business but your own. When we go away I have a friend who lives on her own who prefers not to share. Absolutely fine and I'm glad she feels comfortable enough to be upfront about it.

Mind you could be worse, I had my cousin accusing me of being uptight because I didn't want to share a bed with her Shock. It was all very awkward as normally she's lovely but just didn't understand my reticence- she has two sisters and I'm an only DC so might just be used to more space. Thankfully the hotel were able to put in a trundle bed.

Original poster
juice92 · 13/06/2021 21:03

Thank you everyone for your responses - you have all made me feel loads better.

And I am definitely reconsidering this trip now.

OP posts:
GCAcademic · 13/06/2021 21:04

YABU, I don't share a room with anyone except my husband and dog. I need my own space.

Ragwort · 13/06/2021 21:04

I loathe sharing a room (including with my DH - we have separate bedrooms) but I do go away once a year with a good friend & we share a room but I am really not very comfortable about it.

GCAcademic · 13/06/2021 21:05

Gah! YANBU, I meant! N!

billy1966 · 13/06/2021 21:05

Your friends sound very rude.

I have a couple of childhood friends that are family to me, other than that my own room for sure.

I wouldn't think that is unusual.
Let three of them bunk in together if they are so keen.

Newestname001 · 13/06/2021 21:06

I've never liked sharing and am getting more so the older I get. I value my privacy and not having to take into account someone else in what I'd prefer to be my personal space.

I can't see what you're doing wrong - especially as you are offering to pay extra for the privilege. 🌹

Leftphalange · 13/06/2021 21:06

YANBU, I was in a similar position recently and I booked my prepaid room with no cancellation or changes allowed, before I was asked.

I think it is absolutely fine to want your own space

Branleuse · 13/06/2021 21:06

Just be upfront and say youre up for it but youre not sharing a room. No big deal. Lots of people dont like sharing