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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to share a room with someone on a trip with friends?

81 replies

juice92 · 13/06/2021 20:50

My friends and I have been talking about going for a weekend away together next year (in this country). We would be staying in a hotel as oppose to any sort of house share/air bnb. All of us are women and I would say that I am fairly close to all of them.

I don't want to share a room with someone else. I like to have space on my own at the end of the evening and I also like having my own bathroom.

There are an even number of us going so I understand that will ultimately leave someone else in a room they have to pay for by themselves. To accommodate this I have offered to pay some additional money on top of the cost of my hotel room.

I have been called strange and awkward for not wanting to share a room.

AIBU? And would you be happy to share a room with friends?

OP posts:
eatsleepread · 13/06/2021 21:08

I only share with my dog (I'm single).
He and I are snoring equals Grin

osbertthesyrianhamster · 13/06/2021 21:10

I don't even like to share with myself. No. I wouldn't care how much pressure was put on me. I have super bad insomnia so sharing is out for me. I'm also up and down to the loo all night to pee.

Brefugee · 13/06/2021 21:10

I'm with you OP, i want my own space and my own toilet. TBH if people were being dicks about it, I'd say "i shit several times a night, and it absolutely stinks. I also fart all night, which stinks. So who wants to share?"

Can't the other 3 all share together?

HunterHearstHelmsley · 13/06/2021 21:10

I don't mind sharing a room. I understand why others would mind.

However, I can see why they are frustrated. If there are four of you, it only really works if someone wants to be on their own also. You've mitigated this by offering to pay a bit extra. I'd be annoyed if I was happy to share but stuck with an extra cost.

LateAtTate · 13/06/2021 21:10

YANBU, you paid extra to cover the other person as well, if I were someone else I'd jump at the chance to have my own room paid for by you :D

jb7445 · 13/06/2021 21:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Blueemeraldagain · 13/06/2021 21:11

I quite enjoy sharing a room (admittedly only really with my best and oldest friend who sleeps like the dead) but would totally understand someone not wanting to.

Do you mind if I ask how old the group are? Only because, in my 20s, I would have felt a little…. “left out” if I was the person who “had” to room alone. Childish and linked to insecurity now I look back, but would have been how I felt then.

Any chance of a three bed room?

ErykahBaddy · 13/06/2021 21:11

I would say that I am fairly close to all of them

I have been called strange and awkward for not wanting to share a room

Wait... called strange and awkward by the same people you're supposedly fairly close to? Cos that's not really compatible to me. None of my close friends would call me strange and awkward – at least not seriously! Maybe as a joke in which case I'd laugh it off. But anyone who says it seriously is not a close friend in my book.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 13/06/2021 21:12

Three sharing would work out cheaper, probably.

Don't get me wrong, I'd be happy to stay on my own if I didn't have to pay a single supplement 😂

partyatthepalace · 13/06/2021 21:12

Of course you aren’t (and I’d love to know the logic of the people saying you are.)

Don’t let it get to you and they’ll move on. You’ve offered to pay the extra which is v kind, so there is literally nothing for anyone to moan about.

Susie477 · 13/06/2021 21:13

YANBU.

I also need my space and I wouldn’t be at all comfortable sharing a room with someone I wasn’t in a sexual relationship with, either. I was fine sharing rooms with friends on holidays when I was much younger, but in middle age, no chance.

Cherrysoup · 13/06/2021 21:14

I wouldn’t share. Last school trip, I insisted on a single room. Given I did all the organising, I reckon I was entitled.

Chickydoo · 13/06/2021 21:15

100% with you on this.
I never share, I would rather not go.
I also have terrible ibs

MrsPeacockInTheLibrary · 13/06/2021 21:17

I have done this on trips with friends. I have paid more or taken a small room or whatever and everyone has always been happy to go along with it.

Smartiepants79 · 13/06/2021 21:22

I don’t like sharing a room but would do it for a night or two with family or very close friends.
However, the snoring would be a hard no from me! Grin
If you’re prepared to pay the extra to make this happen, no one is out of pocket so I can’t see what the issue is.

Aprilx · 13/06/2021 21:24

I could share when I was younger, but I wouldn’t do it now. I would blame it on my snoring and being quite a restless sleeper, which is true, but mainly I just prefer to have my privacy.

simbobs · 13/06/2021 21:28

Agree that you are not BU. In my youth I happily shared a room or a bed with a friend, but now that I am older I really wouldn't like it. I sleep alone from time to time at home as DH and I tend to disturb one another's sleep. Would none of the other ladies also have a sneaky preference for nocturnal solitude? Is it just a financial issue?

whatwasIgoingtosay · 13/06/2021 21:31

When I go away with a group of friends we all book single rooms, despite having known each other for over 30 years. There are 10 of us, and only one has ever said she wouldn't mind sharing - but no one in the group has taken her up on the offer! It really isn't unusual to want privacy and to sleep alone in a room at night.

MadeOfStarStuff · 13/06/2021 21:44

YANBU

I have shared rooms and sometimes on scouting trips I still do share with another leader if the number of rooms is limited.

But I snore, which I’m self conscious of which means I try to stay up later than everyone else and I can’t relax so end up knackered.

I definitely need time alone to recharge, even when I’m with my best friend. We recently booked a trip away in the Uk and a priority was enough bedrooms for no one to have to share. If you’re paying you shouldn’t have to put up with a sharing situation you’re not happy with.

memberofthewedding · 13/06/2021 21:47

If you decided not to attend one of the party would still be left on her own any way and would have to book a single. So why offer to pay over the odds for her?

FierceBarrie · 13/06/2021 21:50

I’m going away with girlfriends this weekend and we’ll be sharing. It’s the part of it that I’m least looking forward to. It’s the holiday home of one of the group, so there’s no option for not sharing.

I don’t think you’re ‘strange’ or ‘awkward’ for not wanting to share, and like a PP, am really surprised that people you’re close to are levelling those accusations at you.

If you have the option of paying more for a single room, what does it matter to them?

They’re they ‘strange, awkward’ ones by insisting you buddy up when you don’t want or need to. Confused

user1471538283 · 13/06/2021 21:50

I always have my own room and my friends are as close as family to me. I have shared when I was younger but I've always preferred my own room.

yikesanotherbooboo · 13/06/2021 21:55

I would secretly prefer my own room but I would fit in with the group so that no one felt awkward.

Blufandango · 13/06/2021 21:55

I stopped sharing rooms with anyone about 8 years ago. I simply won't do it. If my own room makes a holiday too expensive for me, I won't go, I'll stay at home, in my own room!

notanothertakeaway · 13/06/2021 21:59

@memberofthewedding

If you decided not to attend one of the party would still be left on her own any way and would have to book a single. So why offer to pay over the odds for her?
But OP is attending, so the obvious solution would be to share a room, in which case, if OP not willing to share, I think it's fair she pays the additional cost

I would be totally fine sharing with a friend, or friend of friend