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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not want to share a room with someone on a trip with friends?

81 replies

juice92 · 13/06/2021 20:50

My friends and I have been talking about going for a weekend away together next year (in this country). We would be staying in a hotel as oppose to any sort of house share/air bnb. All of us are women and I would say that I am fairly close to all of them.

I don't want to share a room with someone else. I like to have space on my own at the end of the evening and I also like having my own bathroom.

There are an even number of us going so I understand that will ultimately leave someone else in a room they have to pay for by themselves. To accommodate this I have offered to pay some additional money on top of the cost of my hotel room.

I have been called strange and awkward for not wanting to share a room.

AIBU? And would you be happy to share a room with friends?

OP posts:

teenagetantrums · 13/06/2021 22:00

I don't share ever. .l love my own space. I will pay an extra £100 just to have my own room.
The only people l will share with is my DP and at a push my adult kids.

DramaAlpaca · 13/06/2021 22:01

I don't and won't share rooms with anyone other than DH. End of.

Ickythefirebobby · 13/06/2021 22:02

I would feel exactly the same. I don’t like sharing anything and definitely not a hotel room.

Getafuckinggripman · 13/06/2021 22:03

Another non sharer here. I did it a lot when I was younger but I'm approaching late 30s now and other than my boyfriend I just wouldn't share with anyone I need my space too much. I'm constantly in and out of the loo as well.

Ginger1982 · 13/06/2021 22:04

It would depend for me. For a one off weekend with close friends I would do it. I had to share a bed on a hen weekend once! But I wouldn't choose it if I didn't really have to. Can you not just spin it the way you have here and say that you're actually saving someone else from a sleepless night?

purplebagladylovesgin · 13/06/2021 22:10

I always have a separate room when away without groups of friends. I just tell them honestly that I snore very loudly. They all Know this as I've been asked to pitch my tent far far away on previous occasions

Yes, tell them you snore and it's embarrassing. That you'd prefer not to put anyone through a sleepless night and to be kind you are booking your own room.

I can't see how they will think you strange once they know.

ErykahBaddy · 13/06/2021 22:12

Whether people on here like to share or not isn't even actually relevant. The issue is whether people would call a "close friend" strange and awkward for wanting their own room. I wouldn't cos I'm not a dick.

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 13/06/2021 22:13

Given the ibs and snoring I think a room to yourself is sensible. Cover the cost of your room but don’t subsidise anyone else’s.

katy1213 · 13/06/2021 22:26

I always book my own room. And I wouldn't offer to pay towards somebody else's - why should you? If they're that bothered about economising, they could get a family room.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 13/06/2021 22:29

I don't like sharing either. I'm very windy and need my own space to let rip

UpHillandDownAle · 13/06/2021 22:29

One of my group of “girlie trip away friends” likes to have a room on her own. We want everyone to enjoy the trip so we make it work for all of us. Some places have rooms for three if there isn’t another person who’d rather be on their own in the group. We find there usually is though.

Wombats12 · 13/06/2021 22:31

I did once but it caused me a lot of anxiety. I don't even share a room at home as I talk and thrash about in my sleep, as my brain doesn't switch off at night. I need my own space to unwind as well, if I've been social.

nokidshere · 13/06/2021 22:31

No. I never share a room with anyone else. I'm happy to pay more if necessary but I don't share ever.

godmum56 · 13/06/2021 22:32

@Aquamarine1029

I don't share rooms with anyone except my husband. End of. I am not "strange" or "awkward", and neither are you. How can it be awkward to do something that has no impact on anyone else whatsoever? Bottom line is I want my privacy, and that doesn't hurt anyone else.

I wouldn't expect friends to call you names for something so innocuous, honestly.

this absolutely and would I share a room 1.no. 2.hell no. 3 fuck no.

frankenpoodle · 13/06/2021 22:33

I wouldn't want to share, either. Sometimes it might be ok, but other times, I have health issues that mean it really wouldn't, and I can't predict ahead of time how I'll be feeling.

I'd probably just not go on a trip of that sort, especially if the others were accusing me of being difficult.

SwimBaby · 13/06/2021 22:34

Are there any triple rooms?

Notaroadrunner · 13/06/2021 22:35

But OP is attending, so the obvious solution would be to share a room, in which case, if OP not willing to share, I think it's fair she pays the additional cost

No way should she pay another person's costs. The others can get a triple room. I won't share anymore and there's no way I'd pay extra for anyone else's room. Just because there are an even number going doesn't mean they all have to share. It's up to people to decide and those who wish to share can share a double or triple room.

PerditaCambellBlack · 13/06/2021 22:38

Yanbu, I don’t share rooms either

TheChosenTwo · 13/06/2021 22:38

I don’t mind sharing but sometimes when I don’t know the whole group that well (one example that springs to mind is sil’s hen do, she was sharing a room with her sister, everyone else there I had met before but wouldn’t have wanted to share a room with any of them), I just pay to have my own.
Last year in September we went away for a weekend and due to being around my family for months on end and no one else, again, I wanted a room to myself. I wanted to make the most of the peace in the hotel room and drag out the late checkup. I actually knew the whole group really well and almost everyone wanted their own room.
Other times I’m happy to share.
I don’t think YABU.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 13/06/2021 22:42

I absolutely hate the idea of sharing a room. I don’t even poo in a hotel with my husband in the room so the idea of doing it with a friend there is a non starter.

Until I actually do it.

It’s always been fine. Better than fine - good fun.
I gave to remind myself that I was once young and would share rooms, sofas and beds with many people without a care.

thevassal · 13/06/2021 22:42

@FlatStanletta

That isn’t unreasonable at all! I would usually prefer to have my own room too, although I have shared and will share if need be. I certainly wouldn’t think it was weird if someone was happier to get their own room and pay for the privilege (especially given that it’s an even number so someone would be lumbered with the extra cost of their own room anyway!)

Think you've misunderstood. It's an even number including OP so if she drops out that makes it an odd number, so the person who was going to share with her would have to pay double, which is why OP is offering to cover some of it.

You are not unreasonable at all, but I would say fairly unusual as in my experience most groups of friends who go away together would expect to share a room, sometimes even a bed. I'd be fine with the room, not with the bed. Having said that, I went away a few years ago and was in a room with a friend who was a terrible snorer so if I was going to share with you knowing that you snore I'd be very grateful to get a subsidised good night of sleep!

Saying you are strange and awkward is a bit mean though...do you think you might feel a bit left out if you go to your room to sleep and they stay up chatting, or you all agree to meet for breakfast at 9 and they turn up late together because it's taken them longer to get ready sharing a bathroom while you're sitting alone waiting for them? Just wondering if they are already making comments if it will be as nice a trip?

StillWaters77 · 13/06/2021 22:44

I wouldn't want to share either tbh. I'd rather not go lol

Jaxhog · 13/06/2021 22:45

Absolutely fine to want your own room. But you should be paying the whole room cost, not a 'bit extra'.

thefirstmrsrochester · 13/06/2021 22:46

YANBU. Last time I ‘shared’ a room with anyone other than DH was on a girls trip to Tenerife nigh on 25 years ago. Just nope. I need and want my own space, and pay for it on group trips. And you don’t need to qualify your decision to have a single room OP. It’s a perfectly reasonable condition to put in place when a trip is getting organised. I don’t share, that’s all that needs said.

Volhhg · 13/06/2021 22:50

You are very very reasonable to think of your snoring. The group of friends should be very grateful to have a considerate and generous friend.

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